On the Couch with Gaye

If you frequent the CN.com forum, then you've probably had the pleasure of chatting with the lovely and genuinely nice Sweetdrk1! Check out her story:


Hello CurlyNikki, first thank you so much for creating a place that I can call home. I have met (virtually) people that will always be a part of my life and for that I thank YOU!

My name is Gaye which means happy. Was I always happy being ME? uhm no! thus the handle sweetdrk1. My user name Sweet=means what it says. Drk=dark in tone and nature if pushed and 1, well there is only me. I was born in 1966 the year of the Watts Riots; a time when our people were fighting for individuality; a time when white was right and black had to stay back! I was the darkest person in my family called everything you could think of, darky, tar baby, purple etc. The funny part NOW is I am not that dark. LOL! One moment that I look back on now is after my Saturday morning press and curl session. I always had nice hair and mother kept it tight. I would go outside ponytails swinging and there was a man that would say "there she is, you are the prettiest, blackest, thing I ever did see". Now remember it was early 70's when being called black was an insult; but I would smile because I was raised right and cry on the inside. I thought he was the meanest man ever! Fast forward some 30 years later, my daughter was little and walking in front of me. This old man looks at her and say "you look like this little girl from the projects, she was so pretty and didn't know it". I started crying and that is when he noticed ME. I said "you never said I was pretty YOU said I was BLACK"

I share that story because we hear what society says we should hear and do what they say the Jones's do. Has anyone met the Jones'? So I got a perm because that is what everyone else was doing and I needed to cover up the black, sad but true. My hair was always done ALWAYS because in my eyes I was not good enough. Since then I have gone through a series of hair styles...from short and cropped to shoulder length bob. See pics below. I will note here that even then my curls were trying to surface. When I would get a roller set it would last forever. Sasha (my hair) was fighting for the attention she deserved. My stylist of 20+ years said to me every 6-8 weeks.

Her: "You don't need a perm!!"
Me "whatever!" give me my touch up!"
Her: "your hair is curly, it's not nappy"
Me: "give me a touch up!"

LOL, if only I was strong enough to love ME enough to understand that I didn't need to hide behind anything hair included. Fast forward to 2009, you know the saying all things unfold as they should? Well that is what happened, all things were in place. Every time I went to get a touch up my stylist was out sick. I would do what is known in the Curly Community as flat twist/twist out. When someone would compliment I would say "I need a touch up" and they would look at me like I was crazy!! This went on for two or 3 months and I was like you know what..it's time for the world to see me as I am, in my natural state. So I did what makes the average woman gasp, I HAD MY HAIR CUT OFF! That day, August 22, 2009, it was like I could lace for me to raise Sasha. She is 8 months old and doing just fine. We (she and I) owe that to you for creating a learning environment, a safe environment, a loving supportive environment. I have no regrets, I love every tiny spiral on my head. I love being natural!

The first pic is of the days I was living a LYE
The rest are of Sasha in all her glory

Thanks,
Gaye

34 Weigh in!:
Chef Lucy said...

Thanks for sharing Gaye, your story is very inspiring. And sasha is beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Wow!!! I love your story...very touching! And sis...you ARE beautiful!!!

TheRYL1 said...

Hey Sweet...on the "Front Page" looking good! :-)

Shadelle said...

Beautiful story indeed! Thanks for sharing! :D

Beads, Braids & Beyond said...

Gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your story.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful woman. Gorgeous curls.

L

Trucurly said...

Gaye-what a moving story! Please keeping telling it, words are so powerful.Finally, both you and Sasha are FIERCE!

Lynnieluve said...

Thanks for sharing Sweet! I dont think I've every heard you tell this story. Love ya chick!

Anonymous said...

thats my sister...now she has me over here crying..man the days we had of me doing your hair..how i miss u everyday...luv u soo much!! u have always been beautiful...

Meca

Unknown said...

Gaye, both you and your hair are so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story w/us!

Exhale1913 said...

Hey Gaye!! Thanks for sharing your story. You are BEAUTIFUL, both inside and out!!

Serenity3-0 said...

I'm so glad you featured her. She has a beautiful spirit and I'm glad Sasha is fluorising!

Pinkrage said...

WOW!!! I have never seen a pic of your hair permed. I LOVE it natural. You are BEAUTIFUL!

Anonymous said...

Wow thats a really good story, and it's still sad to this day how much the black family thinks being dark skinned is not a good thing. My mom does it to this day, and thats probably one of the reasons that i date interracially as well. Because of my not being comfortable in being the dark sister vs my light sister. But your hair is gorgeous, i'm sure that Sasha is thankful that you have finally let her shine through. God Bless

LaToya said...

Wonderful story and your hair is so beautiful!!

Anonymous said...

Awesome story...thanks for sharing! You and your hair are beautiful! =D

-Vee

Sweetdrk1 said...

Thank you all for the kind words. Sharing is caring and I hope my story makes someone take a closer look and realize they are beautiful no matter who thinks other wise!

Earth Angel said...

Gaye,
You are indeed beautiful. Your story about the man who repeatedly told you you were beautiful and black, and running into him 30 years later gave me the shivers. You couldn't hear the "beautiful" for all the negative CONNOtations loaded onto the "black." But now you can hear. And so can your daughter, I assume. That's beautiful, and so are you. Peace sista.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing Sweet Gaye! ~ poetic

BlondeByDesire said...

Love the story Ms. Gaye


BBD

Anonymous said...

Gaye, that was an awesome story! Im so glad that you went natural girl(Not saying you weren't beautiful before) because your hair is gorgeous and it fits you! Keep that hair growing lady!

Natural83

Anonymous said...

Loved your story and think I have found my hair twin!! Please stay strong and know you are beautiful just the way you are :)

Maricopa said...

Your story has been/will be an inspiration to many, thanks for sharing. Btw,your hair is beautiful as well a the color, is it a henna mixture? I'd love to acheive that color on my own hair.

1 Love

luvleelox said...

This is one of the best "On the Couch's" ever...I felt every word I read...thanks for sharing!

ChrLvsBks said...

Sweet, your story rings true for so many. Thanks for sharing. You are appreciated and loved.

God bless,
ChrsLvsBks

Anonymous said...

beautiful story very and inspiring I had goose bumps reading this you are Beautiful as well

sweetdrk1 said...

Maricopa, I am so very afraid to try henna. LOL, this is remains of professional color. Thank you for the compliments.

Anonymous said...

...this is so uplifting and beautiful Gaye, thank you for sharing. I am thinking back to all the times I was called affectionate names, but didn't accept it. (From a 1970's child).

Anonymous said...

Wow! This really touched me and inspires me to continue this naturally journey in all it's glory. My head of curls (Shenita) who will be 4 months old on the 15th are learning each other and growning together. What's so amazing is my daughter who will be 6 soon see's mommies curls are like hers and loves them. She's the whole reason Shenita and I meet. So thank you Gaye for this inspirational story to keep me going along this journey. BTW your curls are absolutely BEAUTIFUL just like you.

Newfound_me

Angela said...

Love, love, love the story!! You and Sasha are beautiful!!

caracara said...

Love it!!!!!!

melanie said...

Great story, I love your honesty!

Sweeydrk1 said...

Thank you all for your comments. Hopefully together we will help someone heal.

dajewel1982 said...

wow!!!!!!!!!! what a moving article!!!!!!!! ur energy is out of this world!!!! lova ya!!

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...