OMG...is that...? Did You Just Pee on Me?!

'reading' a magazine


Too early to potty train? 'Cause lil mayhem just pee'd all over me.

We were chilling in the bed, enjoying a lazy Saturday, talking to my dad on FaceTime. Gia, per her usual, used me for leverage to pull up on. She was smiling at my dad, pointing at the phone... hamming it up. Then I heard the velcro on her diaper. I laughed and told my dad what she had done, angling the phone down so he could see the rogue diaper. He interrupted my laughs and said, 'Nik, looks like she's trying to do something'. It did appear that way... she was concentrating hard. But I didn't think much of it because she wasn't grunting. She's a very vocal pooper. The next thing I know, G had pissed all over my freshly washed linens... all over me.. all down her legs. She had the nerve to be standing there holding her dress up in the air... looking at me like 'do something 'bout the ish'.

I've taken the other abuses sitting down. I can handle the melt downs (where she can think of no other appropriate course of action but to claw her own damn face), her unwillingness to give me sugar, her uncanny ability to detect and disrupt my attempts to initiate sexy time with the hubs... hell, even her batting and swinging at me when I tell her 'no' or 'stop'. But when you're grown enough to remove your diaper, hold your dress up, and pee on me... I just... I can't.


Other than that, things are going swimmingly! Boog is pulling up on any and everything, cruising around the furniture, babbling, saying 'dadada', signing milk ALL DAY (Lawdy! She needs to learn a new sign), eating off my plate, waving hi and bye, and crawling at top speeds around the house. She's a handful... but a total blessing and joy to have in our lives. Tonight, however, we are dropping her off at the sitters and heading to a wedding reception. So I need to wrap this up... gotta take down my hair and figure out a way to jerry-rig these national geographic titis... amp 'em up or something. Boobs are ghastlier than a thousand ghouls. But I breastfed for nearly 9 months... and like hubby said, I earned 'em!

Later Gators,
Nik

p.s. If I end up looking hot tonight, I'll definitely take pics and share!


Edited to Add

Don't judge me... but believe it or not, this is the SAME set from last month, lol. I haven't restyled my hair since before Orlando! It's been in twists since my last post. And it smells of rich mahogany, lol... the Ghee keeps it soft, moisturized, and smelling like dark chocolate. If I had gone this long without washing using a different butter or creme, I'd have a million flakes and lint balls by now.

My triflin' arse will be washing my hair next weekend I think...


The photographer Joe Payne was amazing and caught us... ahem... in action ;)
am I 'on one' in this pic?




54 Weigh in!:
Anonymous said...

Now that actually made me laugh out loud.

Anonymous said...

Nikki you are hilarious!

Angela said...

Listen, I breastfed my oldest for 14 months and mine looked like two tube socks with oranges in them! But now they look great again and it only took, oh, 20 years. LOL. Maybe not quite that long, but they do snap back...eventually. :)

Anonymous said...

Lol, better pee than poo! I had my baby in a carrier walking to the park and little did I know what had happened until I got there and sat down on a bench. Runny yellow poo all out of the carrier and down my shirt and jeans! Embarrassing, yes, but luckily I had baby wipes stashed in my purse. And it wasn't a long walk back home. So it could have been worse, Nikki :-)

Anonymous said...

lol thats so funny! Once I was handing my son to my husband and the baby had a huge (yellow mustard) poop explosion that came through the diaper and all all over my hubs. :) It was hilarious! I was sooo glad I handed him to my husband at that exact moment. :)

Kudos 2 you for breastfeeding! I did 13 months! My dov said it even lowers the Mother's chance of Breast Cancer by half (!) in addition to being so good for the baby!

caramelgirl said...

yea, kudos to breatfeeding. I want to do it in the future when I have kids later on down the line but... I love my boobies. I'm scared they'll get super saggy, and the tips will lose their sensitivity. oh well, i guess it comes with being a mother.

Anonymous said...

love your mommy posts CN! Hope you have fun tonight!

Anonymous said...

LOL..I don't have kids BUT hearing your mommy moments makes me excited about having my own stories to tell..Thanks for sharing!

Taneica said...

LMAO! Jeff has been talking the kid thing up lately. I told him I need to buy a few more pairs of shoes and then we can revisit that idea. Until then, I'll live vicariously through you!She seems like fun though!

keisha said...

Lmao lol! I mean really! you made me LAUGH OUT LOUD! Sorry about the accident but you've officially been broken in! mommy post are too cute and funny! Have fun!

Anonymous said...

Nikki,I don't have kids but your post cracked me up! I just spent a day with my friend's kid and I can honestly say I can't wait to have kids. I love them and your little girl is adorable!

Stefanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stefanie said...

Lol, instead of Martin's "Damn Gina", we can remix that for Gia lol! I was rolling at this entire post and imagined her pulling up her little dress to save it from the urine stream lmbo! Aww, she's so adorable though.

Honeysmoke said...

You haven't lived until ... It may be time for a little potty. Girls catch on sooner than boys. Maybe potty can be your new sign.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like it's time to teach Boog the sign for "potty"! lol

Anonymous said...

LOL!! Too funny! I literally Laughed Out Loud!

Karen said...

ROTFL!!! I love Gia's personality. My girl takes a STAND!!! Very funny story.

MelMelBee said...

DYING @ National Geographic Tits!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! :D

Anonymous said...

My son who is a month old, like most boys will pee when the air hits him. My husband looks at me like I am crazy because I just move out of the way once he launches. I lovingly tell him not to aim that missle at me, lol.

Anonymous said...

Nikki,

You made me "holla". My son is a couple of months older than Gia and when I tell you its nothing like mother hood. This joker loves to run around naked whenever he can. He thinks its the funnies thing. I think you are right....It's time to potty train. Good Luck! You will have it easier than me because girls are easier to train than boys.

francine said...

nikki, the description of your boobs had me rollin'! girl you are too much! =)

momo7 said...

You are a very great story teller. The adventures of Gia are hilarious! I felt sad reading the end though, but as your husband said, you earned them! Birthing and raising a child, (especially breast feeding/using your breast milk), is very tough (according to what I researched since I don't have children yet)! Gia will appreciate it all (I'm sure she already does) years from now!

Anonymous said...

Nikki Thats Funny!!

Gurl, those little girls, will check you as soon as they come out the womb, and they look at you you "like now What" smhh.. good look Mommy.. Now for the boobies,,, invest in some duct tape.... lol

Anonymous said...

THIS MADE MY SUNDAY...LMBO..really all that and your not on the pot..lmbo..holds dress, stands up..poses and pees..RKelly-Baby Edition "Pee on you Mixtape coming soon..

DRamZ84

Tasha said...

LOL! Gia said when mother nature calls you have to answer, anywhere, anytime! My daughter will be two in October and she has started pulling her diapers off! Just this morning as we were getting ready for church she poops in her diaper and then proceeds to try and pull it down while getting poop all over her hand in the process. Then looks at me with poopie hands saying, "Ewwwwww"! LOL! Kids are so unpredictable, but miracles and blessings that we couldn't live without. No matter how many times we get pee'd on, pooped on, vomited on, etc. there is still a love that cannot be replaced by anyone :).

And I breastfeed for eight months and I'm still trying to get my girls back :(

momo7 said...

Your pics are fierce! I actually thought you had a fresh wash until I read the text. Laawd, you can extend hair days to no end! I need to learn from you! But as for me, my hurr would be stankin' unlike yours smellin' like good ole chocolate and thangs! WERK!

Shaune said...

OMG STRAIGHT HILARITY!!

CURLYNIKKI said...

Thanks ladies for the funny stories, comments and nice words.

Boogie is hilarious.

@anon, I was singing dave chappelle's Piss on You in my head all morning, lol.

Anonymous said...

Nikki you can tell a story girl! Thanks for sharing and your hair looked great last night.

Anonymous said...

Okay first, HEE-larious and I agree! If she can pull off the diaper and pull up her dress, that means she knew it was coming and it ready to hit the potty!! Second, I think I hate you a little. I can't believe you haven't washed your hair in over a month and it still looks that lush, shiny and drop dead GORGEOUS!!! I am sooo jealous. I also hat you because you are going to make me have another PJ moment when I was swearing off new products because I have ... well ... you've seen haven't you??!?! Frick!! You gonna make me go order this Ghee, aren't you Nik?!?! Hating ... just a little;-).

Shelli

keisha said...

Love the hair! Get your party on!

Trace/Killa said...

Not National Geographic titties...that sent me over the edge. HAHAHA, I can only imagine.

Anonymous said...

You looked great. Continuing to take the Fenugreek along with Fennel and Saw Palmetto will help fill your breast back out. I won't make them bigger, but fuller. Safer than implants and they are still naturally you. Worked for me after breastfeeding 3 children now 20, 14 and 13. Check with your Dr first. Plus there's lots of info on line for this breast enhancing combo.

Anonymous said...

GUURRRLLL that is a MESS! That is too funny! I love reading your posts. I don't have any kids yet, but I can't wait.

Anonymous said...

Nikki those pics are sexy! Work that hair!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious story and FIERCE PICS!

Godz Kidz: The Jackson Family Blog said...

I think she felt the urge to pee and is begining to dislike the feeling of wetness on her bottom. She will potty train quickly since she's already learned so much. wet= bad dry= good. Great post.

TraceyJoy said...

Nikki boo get the potty ready, Miss Gia doesn't like a wet bottom, she is practically there already. My mom told me she had me on a potty chair at 8 months and I was going to the potty. Diaper staying dry longer and longer. Try it and see, don't push or force it. I'll take the baby tinkle at least she didn't have a BM and reach in her diaper and take it out throw it somewhere where your bare feet made contact. = )

MJ said...

Go ahead, Mama! :)

Sweetdrk1 said...

ctfu! I love your Boog stories!! And you haven't lived until you been baptized by baby piss!

Love that first pic of you and hubs getting it in! Go Nikki!

Levone said...

Love the stories! Thx for sharing...I really get my laugh for the day when I read about your baby adventures.

Nidries1 said...

LOL! This post and the newest one of Gia dancing to the awards had me crackin up...yes you are "on one" in that pic hahah. You are a trip.

Sham said...

Bahahha! Imma call the baby police on Gia, cuz that was truly a crime! Poor Nikki. Well at least she's showing signs of readiness for diaper independence :)

UMMM... Yeah boo, you are definitley "on one" in this pic (per our FB discussion). Everytime I hear that song it makes me think of you, LOL. Oh & I love me some Drake!

Devon said...

LMMFAO, girl, Nkki you are a mess, lol! Gotta love getting peed on and getting slapped by the baby girl, story of my life, lol:)

CURLYNIKKI said...

thanks guys!!!

Anonymous said...

Gia will easily potty train. Girls are indeed easier to potty than their boy counterparts! I trained my daughter in 2 weeks! I would bring her in the bath room with me every time I had to use the it. I would pull down her pull-up and sit her on the potty too! when i finished my business I would give her a piece of tissue and should her how to wipe. I would flush and put the top down and made her do it too. then clapped and told her she did a good job! after the 2 weeks; one day she went in there on her own and tinkled! But once you start you have to be consistant until they get it!

Anonymous said...

I'll say it once, I'll say it again, you should write a book on your mom tales! You are much too much Nikki! Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

I agree that you can probably start training her on the pot! Girlfriend is ready.

Lauryn said...

That video of Gia is priceless and this story is too funny. She sounds like a bundle of joy! Time to give her brother next!

Anonymous said...

For you to have gone a month without washing, you look great! Your hair looks really healthy.

Anonymous said...

love the photos, you look fabulous. what a funny post- dead at national geographic titties.
Breast feeding is awesome, I enjoyed bf both my girls 12 mths each and I will encourage anyone to give it a try-and it helps with the baby weight loss so double yayyy.

And ladies, it's not the breast feeding that makes the boobs sag, it's the pregnancy... you can research it.

Bianca said...

I potty trained late by my grandmother's standards.
I trained my daughter at 6 months.
She trained her daughters at 3 months.
Use an old fashioned pot chair.
Make a pillow with a hole in the middle so she won't fall in the chair. put ribbon ties on the corners of the pillow to tie to the chair...and start placing her on it first thing in the morning and whenever she looks like she has to go...it works...

Anonymous said...

Get it Nikki!! I ain't mad at you girl...and your curls look lovely!! :-)

http://www.youtube.com/user/KinkycurlyTree03

momo7 said...

Your updated pics with your hubby are fly! y'all betta twerk it! =P Really though, many blessings to the both of you and your entire family! Just, beautiful!

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...