On the Couch with a Retired Natural Hair Police

source: lecoil

Is it Really That Serious?
by Jarmelia of DIY Hair Care Blog


When deciding to
go natural and join the natural hair community many of us unknowingly get signed up for the natural hair military! Sometimes, it can feel like an all out war among relaxed hair ladies and natural hair ladies... with many natural hair ladies being referred to as Natural Hair Police. Just scroll Youtube or Twitter and you will see instantly what I'm referring to. At the end of the day, the question we often ask these women is; "Is hair ever that serious?"!


When I went natural years ago, I had no idea there was a "
natural community", heck, I didn't even know I had went "natural"! Truth be told, it was comforting to find women who also shared a common interest in curly hair care. I would be on hair care forums for hours a day and go around educating my friends on "natural hair". Before long, I was touting all kinds of "facts" about how harmful relaxers were, how black women got relaxers to try to be white, how black women were ashamed of their hair, and so on. I had become the Natural Hair Police!

I was literally brainwashed and truly felt bad for relaxed women! Thinking that because I had accepted my natural hair, I was somehow above other women even though, I still suffered from low self-esteem in certain areas. No other word can describe my state of mind but,
delusional. I was delusional!

Point is, having natural hair does not make someone more accepting of themselves no more than a relaxer means a woman is ashamed of her hair. Yes, a lot of black women (white women alike) may not like their curly, kinky, highly textured or (whatever we are calling it now) hair we still can't assume anything about the hair care choices an individual has made. A lot of women use relaxers out of habit and some do like the ease of maintenance that comes with it. But, to say some women relax because they want to be white, or have low self esteem, is degrading and shows a large amount of ignorance.

Having been natural for a few years, I can say with certainty that there are many natural hair ladies with low self esteem. I guess some think that going natural would change that, but it obviously doesn't. That's all I'm going to say about that!

True confidence is when you can make a decision for yourself and not need any outside approval or feel the need to put others down. This is why I am always hesitant to state I'm a part of the "natural hair community". I don't knock anyone for using relaxers, while they aren't for me at this time, everyone is entitled to do with their hair as they please. (just please leave the relaxers alone when it comes to the children!) Sometimes, we all need to eat a piece of humble pie, it does the brain well!

Thoughts?!

37 Weigh in!:
Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!!!!! I've had to set some folks straight (no pun intended), when talking down about my relaxed hair sisters. My hair has been natural for at least 12 years and it wasn't until the last 2 years that I new there was a natural haircommunity. People make a lot aof assumptions about me due to my natural hair. I didn't do it for political reasons or fear of chemicals. It was just boredom. I wanted a change. IT's JUST HAIR!!!

honeysmoke said...

Best line: True confidence is when you can make a decision for yourself and not need any outside approval or feel the need to put others down.

The above is so true. I think the thing to remember is that women are natural for a variety of reasons. If you do it for you and just for you, that's fine.

When folks do it for acceptance or to be part of a trend or for some other reason that's not true to who they are, that's when the trouble starts.

Anonymous said...

Thank you!!!! A much needed article. I have flipped back and forth on the idea of whether or not I should grow my hair out natural. Although, I think it is beautiful and empowering to wear "our" hair in it's natural state, it is not for me". Some women can rock it and look wonderful doing so and I strongly feel I am not one of those women. I give many props to you ladies that can and DO!!

Anonymous said...

Awesome post. I agree Anon 12:22. Bout time someone said it. That's why I steer clear of hair boards because truth be told, it become an all out brawl. And not only "natural nazis" talk down to relaxed women, they talk down to other naturals who choose alter their hair without using chemicals i.e. color, straighten. Who are these people to tell you what you can/cannot should/shouldn't do to your hair? That's what I'm truly trying to understand. I think it's ridiculous and thankfully I haven't come across a natural nazi because I'd love to tell her a few things.

qtrlifechronicles said...

Thank you for this post. I was really turned off by natural hair boards for a while because of all of the animosity. I even wrote a blog post about because, I was so annoyed. I now only check out hair blogs for specific reasons: style ideas, hair issues, product reviews, etc. Hopefully, we can put an end to all the animosity. I can't take the negative energy.

pinkgirlfluff said...

God blessed me with an amazing fro. Not everybody has it or can rock it with pride. I am glad when somebody that can't be a confident natural choses to stay relaxed. The last thing I need is one more person adding to the "natural haired women are uptight" stereotype by walking around with the sad face because she is feeling unattractive. Nah booo. Go pick yourself up a kit and keep it moving. lol.

Ings said...

I'm glad things seem to be turning around re: animosity on hair boards. It's crazy to think that you can't do what you feel comfortable with - it's your own head of hair - sheesh. I noticed a lot of the negativity and it was a huge turn-off. Luckily we can always click the little X, take a break and get positive energy back.

Ezinwanyi said...

Relaxed ladies, cry me a river! While I can understand your perspective and agree with some of your points, the truth is that a lot of naturals have been made to feel inferior by our relaxed sisters/families, communities and media.

Society created this blacklash against natural hair or "go back to Africa hair". That is why some of us feel like a tad superior like we have seen the light, and you haven't. I personally don't begrudge anyone the right to do whatever with your hair. I am pro-choice on hair, but I don't like relaxed people always commenting on natural hair. For the record, I don't consider tex-lax or relaxed to be natural hair. I respect their right to do whatever they want with their hair, heck, it's theirs. You have a chemical, why are you claiming to have "natural hair"? Why can't you be relaxed and proud of it?

The standard of beauty is STRAIGHT HAIR, preferably LONG. I bet it will be a while before a natural (non-relaxed/texturized) hair lady wins Miss America or showcased as a Disney Princess.

As an african american attorney, I have even received comments from senior attorneys about cornrows and braids NOT being professional etc. So I mostly wore weaves or micros braided an inch or two. Never mind the other white attorney's hair had 3 different shades of blond as well as black roots. It was thin and unhealthy, but hey, it's not kinky hair.

when I bc'd in 2000, I didn't know anyone who was wearing a TWA in my area. That day, I felt so GOOD about myself and the haircut. I thought it fit my face and looked so nice.
Well, the scathing commments I got from everyone including my family was a tad traumatic. My dad asked me "who died for you to do something so drastic?". My cousin who was the first person to see me (as I didn't tell anyone) kept screaming "OMG" over and over. My boyfriend told me that I looked like a butch who just got out of prison. Not one person that day said they liked it, it was "what are you going to do?"

The next day, I was afraid to leave my room. I kept thinking "what have I done?" I look like some crazy black prison lesbian (thanks stupid ex-boyfriend). So I called up a braiding place and got micros put in, but they were so tight because my TWA was small. Plus, they started falling out for the same reason.
For the next 10 years, I have worn elgin charles weaves, conrnrows and microbraids, NEVER my hair without extensions.

Until last year when my 2 yr old daughter asked to have her hair like mine because I looked like "princes tiana and rapunzel".

that is when I discovered these blogs and my natural hair. So I took her to a salon and we got 2 stranded twists together and a manicure. She then said that she looked like me and "we are so pretty". I was in tears.

It has taken my having a daughter of my own to be comfortable with my own hair as I want her to be comfortable with her own hair. My husband is still adjusting, he likes some styles better than others, but I am learning from mishaps and the successes. I am committed and it hasn't been an easy road. But I am at a point where what people say (except my mom, who still occasionally hurts my feelings) don't matter.

So relaxed ladies, the few comments you have gotten from natural hair "nazis" is NOTHING compared to a decades of comments many of us natural ladies endured from you, our families, TV and magazines.

People make generalizations aout you, your character, lifestyle etc by your appearance!
It's just hair...but it's not just hair.

I guess we all have to work on our inner self, relaxed or natural, to make sure we are edifying other females, regardless of our hair choices.

Anonymous said...

@Chinyere, your experience is your experience. It's not what everyone had with their family, friends, or colleagues at work.

You cannot trivialize the experience that someone else has or assume that it is somehow less than your own.

The author wrote from her perspective about how she acted.

No one can quantify who gets derided more for their choices and even if one side was able to produce numbers, it still doesn't make it right.

As she said, if you are happy with your choice, then be happy with it. If you have a boyfriend who acts like your hair is ugly, maybe it's time to trade him in.

There are SO many things about any given person that other people might not approve of or criticize you for. Why do you put natural hair in another box...

It's really unfortunate that you found yourself surrounded by people who treated you so differently over something as trivial as hair, because your post sounds a bit hurt and angry.

I think the whole idea of hair being hair all depends on who you find yourself surrounded by. Some of us are fortunate enough to be able to say that and mean it.

Godiva said...

QUOTE:

So relaxed ladies, the few comments you have gotten from natural hair "nazis" is NOTHING compared to a decades of comments many of us natural ladies endured from you, our families, TV and magazines.

AMEN... I am truly amazed that the natural community now needs to "apologize" for having natural hair and to "play nice" in order for relaxed women to feel comfortable!

People have opinions on a myriad of things including if you chose to relaxer your hair or not. I, personally, choose to NOT relaxer me hair. You can do what you want to do with your hair. However, let not try to pretend that they are the same thing. People are still worried about whether or not they will get a job, or how they are perceived, if they wear their hair naturally. I have heard many times that oh, "you can't wear your hair naturally, because it is unprofessional." I am tired of trying to justify the reason why I wear my hair the way God created it and I honestly don't think women who have a relaxer (or continuously wear weaves) understand the amount of courage and self-esteem needed when almost every form of acceptance and beauty is the opposite of what you have.

If you have a relaxer and are proud of that, do that. However, I won't apologize or be made to feel like a "Nazi" because I don't agree with that. You have your values and I have mine.

Anonymous said...

This whole relaxed vs. natural issue is truly baffling to me.

I have worn my hair without a relaxer for almost 16 years. I didn't stop relaxing my hair because of any natural hair movement or to join any cause. I stopped relaxing my hair because I wanted to color it. My hairstylist told me I had to choose between relaxing my hair or coloring it. I am far too vain to have gray hair, so I opted to nix the relaxer.

I discovered the online natural hair world about two years ago and I was AMAZED at all of the information available about natural hair now. At first, I was like most newbies to this world - all consumed with everything natural hair. But as I continued to check the natural hair boards I became disenchanted and sometimes downright mad at the Natural Hair Police. The heated discussions about what is/isn't natural and how natural are you is just silly to me.

However you decide to wear your hair - relaxed, non-relaxed, colored or not colored, short and cropped, long and flowing or somewhere in between - is a personal choice. Why do we get so offended when others make choices that are not in concert with our own? Isn't that beauty of the world - its diversity?

I truly hope that we will get to a place where we can embrace our differences and celebrate our individuality.

Anonymous said...

OMG THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!! Like you, I didn't even know I went "Natural". I was about to start college in Fall 2003 and wanted something completely different! I wasn't trying to "stop living the lye", etc etc etc. I just wanted something different before I left for
school; no hidden agenda, no "trying to find myself", just wanted a new hair style!

And for those who feel berated by Relaxed women, I'm sorry for you. You obviously dont live in an area where all types
of women have EVERY hair style imaginable. Also sorry for those who's family members made them lock themselves in a room.
Obviously you didnt feel comfortable enough to say, "thanks for your opinon, but I like my hair this way" and keep it
moving. Definitely sounds as though you need to work on your inner self because others words regarding your hair shouldnt
force you to hide in shame. And a boyfriend who called you butch? Sad...I actually feel sorry for you and the people you
chose to surround yourself with during that time. Hopefully that has changed for you.

As far as ads on TV go, most of them are "natural", I dont see too many relaxed persons of color in a commercial;
watch TV and take a look. Unless its for a hair weave; a relaxer; or something of that sort, theyre pretty 'natural'.

Anonymous said...

Glad that's not me. My motto is "You do you and I'll do me". I had been relaxed way too long (since 1975 thru 2010--I was 15)and loved it to now start snubbing a woman who is relaxed! I have gotten so many warm compliments and questions re why and how and I give them all the info I've collected from this site and others as well as the YouTubers along with encouragment for those seriously wanted to make that change but for those who don't want to...I leave well enough alone because it's their choice and when they're ready, I'll be ready to help, encourage and cheer them on! All I ask is that they too be respectful of my decision and the decision of why I BC'd my daughter's hair to be natural. It's called respect for a person's individual choice of dress & grooming.

MommieDearest said...

*grabs popcorn, gets comfy on the sofa*

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 2:59, let's not pretend we don't know what the general reaction to natural hair in the U.S is- and that is negativity.

Yes, times are changing, and it's getting better but we've still got a long way to go as far as general acceptance into mainstream America. If you don't believe me, take a walk around asking people- especially black people- what they think of their natural hair- and don't even get me started on the guys.

Obviously, no one should be berated for the way they wear their hair but I can't tell you how many times I've read comments from hair boards or seen videos on youtube from people talking about the negative reactions they've received from families and friends because they chose to stop using relaxers. This was as early as last year when i started doing research on transitioning.

'It's really unfortunate that you found yourself surrounded by people who treated you so differently over something as trivial as hair, because your post sounds a bit hurt and angry.'

Are you a black person who grew up/lives in America? because your indifference is quite disheartening. There is nothing wrong with expressing hurt and anger when family and friends (the people often times closest to you) make you feel like you're ugly over something as simple as hair- Being made to feel like s***t about your looks is not just being treated 'differently'.

I think the majority of us know better and know to not let people feel horrible about the way they wear their hair, and I know that the positive is going to outgrow the negative so I'm not even going to stress about it.

I do understand the perspective of the 'relaxed ladies'- I still have relaxed ends that I'm hanging on to for a while, lol, but yea, they can cry me a river too.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Godiva. The reason women are afraid to go natural is because of the negativity and ridicule they know they'll receive when they do. Honestly, how many permies are ridiculed for getting relaxers? Relaxed hair gets ooohs and ahhhs, natural hair gets disparaged. I'll believe hair is just hair when little black girls stop asking for relaxed hair because everyone around them and in the media has told them that it's prettier than 'nappy/straight out of africa' hair. Yes, it takes a lot of courage to be natural in today's world where hair texture can have such a profound effect on how one is treated so I commend those who are brave enough to expose their true texture to the world. Permies, cry me a river.

Rania said...

I just think this is sad all this animosity over HAIR. I agree with the author 100% that it's just hair and this is not some "I'm better/more beautiful than you" because I am (or not) natural. I challenge anyone to show me HOW natural hair makes you better or more enlightened than someone who's relaxed or vice versa? Who are you (or I) to challenge someone else's hair decision? I don't like bleached blonds but you don't see me telling them off or feeling more superior because I don't have bleached hair. I don't like braids, but you don't see me trying to put myself over someone else who does. It's none of my business. It's not my hair.

It sounds to me a lot of the heat that I feel within the natural community is from those who've had really bad experiences with people in their own circles who didn't appreciate or support their decision to go natural and now they want to lash out at those who aren't because of the 'injustice' they feet they received. It's tit for tat and it's ridiculous. I'll be happy when we can all sit around a camp fire supporting all our differences, hair and all.

So, I have been transitioning for the last 8 1/2 months (texlaxing before that) but decided today to go back to texlaxing because I feel it just works better for me. The maintenance for natural hair is just more than I have time for or want to spend on my hair (additionally, I just don't think I personally look good with curly or big hair). I will still visit the natural hair sites because I do love some of the styles and suggestions on products and how to take care of hair, period.

I love the look of a lot of women who have natural hair and I love the hair of those who are not so natural. But what I love MOST of all is the fact that we have a CHOICE to be either. And we also have a CHOICE to accept criticism or praise from those that do/don't agree with us and move on.

I agree with: "True confidence is when you can make a decision for yourself and not need any outside approval or feel the need to put others down". Natural Hair nor straight hair make you more confident (or enlightened), personal strength - regardless of the outside - does.

Can't we all just get along?

Anonymous said...

As I read these comments I am filled with an overwhelming sadness! Continued bickering about relaxed vs natural is just so trivial! I love the versatility of the black women it is as simple as that! We are all beautiful whether we wear our hair relaxed or natural. We need to stop pointing fingers at each other and accept each other. This head war is just another way that continues to separate us as a race. Embrace your sisters we are all BEAUTIFUL!

Anonymous said...

Some of my best friends are relaxed! lmao....Really ladies, has it come to this "hair hate"

Unknown said...

Amen! This article was well said.

Anonymous said...

"But, to say some women relax because they want to be white, or have low self esteem, is degrading and shows a large amount of ignorance." I agree with this. I for one relaxed my hair for the first time when I went off to college because in my mind it would be easier to maintain what with being hundreds of miles away from my stylist. It had nothing to do with self hate and it's sad to see this one track mindset in many comments right here on this blog. I am newly natural (after only being relaxed for abt 5 yrs) and am enjoying it and loving the fact that I have this new found knowledge on how to take care of my hair. So enough with the hooplah already, cuz it really isn't that serious at all. Whether natural, relaxed, troll face, or doll face, you are you and that should be good enough!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I agree with the person who posted "I'll do me and you do you," for I see everyone at each others' throats. Naturals against naturals, relaxed against relaxed, Press N Curls against Flat Ironing Divas, and everyone against each other. I definitely agree with the statement that being confident within yourself means that you do not need approval from other people or need to put others down, but I also feel people should be able to speak their minds.

From personal experience, I know sharing information from a caring place can also cause friction and I prefer people to be honest with me. I realize the truth hurts and even certain people's (i.e. Mum, Husband, etc.) perceptions of me might also hurt my feelings, but I am strong enough within myself to know my perception of who I am is what counts. Additionally, I know we have all heard things that weren't pleasant in our lives and it can be a learning opportunity or it can ruin the spirit. But either way what you do with the negative energy directed toward you is completely up to you. LLP~OGC

Anonymous said...

Let's not play 'your blues ain't like mine'. Until you actually speak to someone you'll never know the reason behind the way they wear their hair. If your hair is healthy and you're happy, what else matters.

Nichole said...

Statistics years back have said that the majority of black women relax their hair, and even those of us who are natural at one point had relaxed hair. Getting your hair relaxed was and may still be a rite of passage into young adolescence for most black girls. I'm confused why there is this divide because most of us have had relaxed and "natural" hair at one point in our lives and sometimes a few times in our lives. It's the minority of black women that have only had "natural" hair all of their lives. A theory I have (I just came up with this) is that black folks don't have the luxury in mainstream society to be individuals, but instead we are treated like a monolithic group that thinks and acts alike, and are even said to look alike (at some point in your life you (or someone you know) has experienced a white person mistaking you for another black person who looks nothing like you.) When the "naturals" and "relaxed" girls (not mature women) are combating against each other because of a different way of being I believe there's a subliminal pull to feed into this nonsense that we should all be alike. Yes, ya'll, I did go there and am blaming the hair "debate" on the effects of colonization and slavery.

Eboni said...

It's funny because as I approach my one-year natural hair anniversary, I'm slowly but surely considering relaxing my hair a rocking a short style again. I did this back in high school and NO ONE liked my short relaxed hair, and I felt like crap! But now after being natural for a year and being bored, I'm ready to try something new! Hair is just hair!

Another reason I'm considering relaxing my hair is simply because how this is turning into a "natural hair movement" and into a "trend". Whenever I see people jumping the bandwagon on something, I'm ready to try something else instantly. It kinda sucks because my mom is just now getting to the place where she likes my natural hair, and now I'm ready to change it, lol.

And guess what? I have the option to change up my look whenever I want, however I want! Deal.

Anonymous said...

Reading some of the comments here is this hair police stuff all about I've been done wrong and here's my chance to hit back? Now that is immature. If people are so "enlightened" that they go natural, how can they not see this tit for tat mess is for the birds? A lot of these police have had perms themselves. It is really a shame. Here is an opportunity to educate and set a great example and we have some women who obviously need therapy using their hair choice as a weapon :(

Anonymous said...

@Nichole 9:44 this is something that WE really need to think about..
Black women lets support and compliment each other whether natural or relaxed!

Anonymous said...

Hair is a big deal in the African dispora/black/people of color (whatever) culture....

Although I do empathize with relaxed women to an extent- I get the notion that no one wants to be beraded about their hair whether relaxed or natural- I do also feel that they can cry me a river as well....lol.

Speaking from my own experience, people were VERY vocal about what they thought when I first went natural. I never asked for the comments but people sure gave them to me.

The comments were mixed, negative and positive. Obviously, it didn't affect me as I still went on living and proceeding in my hair journey.

My point is that, in this world natural hais is NOT the norm yet. So the few naturals that might make comments, SO WHAT, compared to alll the rest of the people who come at naturals in a negative way.

I am sure people with relaxed hair get negative feedback, but what about all the people who probably give them the positive feedback as well?

I certainly will not apologize for acknowledging that I am not a fan of relaxers or weaves. Do I offer my opinion about what someone else is doing with their hair? No. But if a relaxed woman comes up to be and initiates, I am going to be honest with her.

Call me a nazi. so what.


With that being said, I would like to share a forward that i recieved. The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a
race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that
he entered it in the
race
again and it won again.


The
local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind
of
publicity that he ordered
the
Pastor not to enter the
donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline
read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered
the Pastor to get rid
of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to
give it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper,
hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the next day:


NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed
the Nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so she
sold
it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so
he
ordered the Nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the
plains
where it could run wild.

The
next day the headlines read:

NUN
ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The ! Bishop was buried the next day.

The
moral of the story is . . . being
concerned about public opinion
can
bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So
be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's
ass and
you'll be a lot happier
and
live longer!

Have
a
nice day!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ The Pastor's Ass!

Anonymous said...

When relaxed women start getting abusive verbal comments about their hair from natural family members, friends, work colleagues and even COMPLETE STRANGERS on the streets, as opposed to just written ones on youtube and blogs, then they can start talking about 'natural nazis'. Until then that term is nonsensical.

The fascist attitude towards hair in the black community has always been about enforcing the straight hair ideal, and villifying the natural hair state. Anyone who doesn't see this is delusional or deliberately attempting a bait and switch.

A positive change in cultural or social values such as the one that is represented by the natural hair movement always attracts detractors and other highly negative forces until it becomes completely mainstream. Attacking and disparaging the enthusiastic supporters of the natural hair aesthetic by labeling and denigrating them in this disgusting way is part of their tactic. Don't let them get away with it.

Anonymous said...

Are we really going to sit here and say that relaxed hair ladies feel offended and inferior by natural hair militants?!!! LOL! Please!

Relaxed hair is still the overwhelming majority and seen as most acceptable.

While I do admit that there are some naturals that are a tad bit extra, I attribute it to a defense mechanism. Most happy naturals however know what profound change has happen not only on their head, but inside as well. And that's why sometimes we defend our choices with passion.

Nicole said...

My problem is when relaxed women assume that I have something against their hair or against them simply because I am natural. I "went natural" because I do not like relaxers. Plain and simple. Why does having natural hair mean that I am afrocentric? That just annoys the heck out of me.
On the other hand, before I was not against relaxers even during the 8 years that I have been natural, but I recently have become an opponent of relaxers simply because of what it is made of and what it does to the hair. And I know that some women have been conditioned to not like their own kinky or curly hair (black and white women) because they would rather damage it to the point of severe breakage and ugliness in order to have it straight. Chemically or physically (pressing) straightening your hair is not the worse thing in the world, but if you are going to do it, know the facts and be careful. If not, good luck with maintaining length.

Anonymous said...

well i believe plenty of natural women are full of themselves kind of hypocritical if you dont mind me sayin cuz they have some nerve to judge a relaxed female as if they werent just rockn a relaxer last year. i've encountered this from a friend. changing one appearance is SO common. people get plastic surgery, people dye, there hair people change there style shoot. as they say if u dont like something then fix it just because someone feel comfortable and like there relaxed hair why try to down them, thats like down someone for gettn there boobs done. there are much more serious issues to beef about other than natural vs relaxed.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Yes, there are many naturals that are full of themselves, but there are equally if not more relaxed women who more so.

As many have stated before, many permies do not HESITATE to verbally assault a woman after she does the big chop or while she is transitioning.

So what if she had a perm last year. She became enlightened THIS YEAR! it's ok! REALLY!!!!! lol.....

Anggie said...

iked the article... natural hair is a hair style choice. it's shouldn't hold any other significance (not militant; not anti-relaxer, etc.) It's a decision to stop the use of chemicals. Neither should it be a hammer against the heads of oth...ers who don't make the same choice. We all have the right to choose. I just think with more being revealed about various chemicals people need to be understand the impact of that choice. Just like there are plenty of people who straighten their hair without the use of chemicals... everyone doesn't choose embrace the kinky curls; but if they can let go of the dependence of the harsh chemicals that's still a step in the right direction of healthy hair.

Anonymous said...

First off, those sisters who had there hair permed last year probably had there hair permed or pressed since they were young, just like you and most black women you know. This year might have been the first time she felt comfortable enough to break away from the habit. Please do not knock her for finding her first step in a personal independence. Our outward appearance is just one way we communicate with the outside word and as we grow on the inside it can reflect on the outside. What is your personal preference communicating to the world? Really? If you are relaxed and scared to go out your house when its nappy, you are not relaxed because you like it. You are relaxed because you are afraid. Now if relaxing is something you do with eyes wide open about the good and the bad truth of it, then I can understand that on some level. I'm natural because I wanted my daughter to feel like she didn't have to do anything to her hair to fit in. So she can see me and make a more balanced choice.

Anonymous said...

Thank you author for your article. I found it enlightening, balanced, and sane. All of these natural hair nazi posts are another story.

We, as black women assign WAY too much importance to hair(and we all know it is black women carrying on with this nonsense). I came on this site to learn about split ends, but found a sadly split community. Will the hair psychosis in our community ever end?

Yes, I've been natural for ten years. But it's just hair people- it's really not that serious. I appreciate beautiful hair whether nappy, curly, straightened, permed, long or short. My hair has been admired and complimented by all types of people with different types of hair. And similarly, I see the beauty in different types of hair.

PLEASE don't feel threatened because others make different choices about how to wear their hair. Their choices don't invalidate yours!

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