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July 24, 2013

Seeing Your Natural Hair Through New Eyes


Seeing Your Hair through New Eyes, & Why It’s Important…

by Chai of Back to Curly

A few weeks ago I stood in front of my mother’s mirror while visiting her home in Florida, prepping my twists into a pinned up style when she quietly stood next to her sink. She waited as I pushed the last pin into place before asking if I would untwist her strands and fix her fro. Her vanity mirror is quite large, yet my place has always been by the crux of her hip, ready to nudge with an elbow if the urge hit, and because we were talking hair, I inched in a bit closer.

My mother and I have shared numerous rituals over the years that span from heated moments in the kitchen, to hours on the phone gabbing about The Bachelorette. Yet this moment felt different, because she was different. We both stood side by side, still gabbing as I helped fluff her fro, deciding on which new moisturizer to sample, as compared to the last visit where both my father & I counted the minutes on the clock as she pressed her thinning strands with an electric hot comb. On this trip I noticed her desire to want to push past old insecurities which often forced her to mask her kinks with hats & heat.

Read On>>>



I understood that after six years of being natural, from the flat ironing, to the redundant texturizers and hot comb sessions, that she was finally able to see her hair through new eyes. She smiled more, slowly became enamored as I paid special care to each coil, and was able to share her joy with me. Aside from accepting her happiness for what it was & encouraging her to further experiment and practice…and, well all the things a ‘good natural’ ought do, I felt proud.

Of course, there are times where I would happily argue about the importance of regarding hair as ‘just hair,’ yet when it comes to my Mum, her happiness and her newfound courage to rock her natural, there is greater power in the actual choice we make to be & stay natural. This is what I’ve come to admire. Many of us do experience personal growth in ways we were never able to realize. There is strength to be found in making a choice that resonates at the core of who we strive to become.

Protect your beliefs, your ideals and your reasons for going natural by reinforcing them. If you are afraid to take that leap and let the world see you, the real you….do it anyway. The understanding of course is that it will be difficult. You have emotional hurdles to measure up to and ideals to overcome. But remember to do it anyway. If time is what you need, take it before it runs out. If it’s fear that is holding you back, walk through it…if not once, twice…three times, but it’s important to keep walking with a goal in mind, and that is to visibly see yourself through your eyes, no one else’s.

15 Chime in!:

Anonymous said...

This was absolutely beautiful. It was also just what I needed to get my work day started! Thanks Chai and CN! :-)

Shake said...

Oh emm Gee!!!!!! I am soooooooooo going through the very same thing with my mother. Every word of this story I Love. Hits right at home :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks Chai! This is confirmation - I've been going back and forth regarding my BC. I've been transitioning for 8 months, have started becoming frustrated with the two textures, and now it looks like my relaxed ends are starting to break off despite moisturizing/sealing/etc. For the last week, I've been thinking it may be better to do the BC now and enjoy my hair but, the given the current growth, I'd be rocking an afro which wasn't my original plan. (Nothing wrong with afro's, I just had planned to transition slowly.) I'm getting the courage to just do it anyway especially since as it is I need to get a trim. Reading this was confirmation of what I've been feeling and I appreciate your encouragement to push through the fear and do it anyway! :-)

ChiCurly1908 said...

Oh... I absolutely love this. It sounds just like my mom and I, except she's the one urging me to let go of these lyed-to-me-ends and move on with my life!!! After reading this....I just may do it!!!! #inspired

AB said...

This is such a great post. I love it. My mom is 56 years old and she hasn't seen her natural hair texture since she was 12. She has been growing out her hair for a year now and she loves it. I remember years ago when I first went natural and did the bc she thought I was crazy. But now that she is natural she has learned to look at her hair with new eyes too. She loves every bit of her natural hair now. I have to get my mom to read this post its a beautiful post thanks for sharing!

Ashlei P said...

Thank you for this, I have to show this to my mother who just made the decision to go natural. My mother has alopecia, and while I have gotten some growth from Coconut oil and slightly thickened her hair with Castor oil, it seemed like it was all for naught once she went and put her thin strands back through the relaxing process. Well, I finally went for a trim and when I go I usually get a Dominican Blowout, which is every 4-5 months. My hair is between my shoulders, which shocked my mother considering I had a fade 17 months ago. I think that was the thing that helped her decide to go natural, and hopefully this will encourage her even more :D

MissLuxe said...

Beautiful & inspiring story!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. My mom BC'd 6 months after I did. She has Parkinson's Disease and so the easier maintenance and dollars saved remove such a burden. She has days where she doesn't love it I feel honored to be able to encourage her and share tips. For once I get to be brave for the woman who braved so much more to raise me.

Anonymous said...

This is so sweet. This also reminds me of my mom. She BC'd and stopped coloring her hair shortly after I BC'd. She loves it and wishes should could have done it sooner. I adore her silver curls!

Anonymous said...

Great post. It's like Mothers' Day in August!

I have shared products with my mum but she is yet to leave the flat iron and blow drying. Ah one day.

Anonymous said...

"There is strength to be found in making a choice that resonates at the core of who we strive to become." this was deep

hairscapades said...

This is a very powerful, moving post. Thank you for it.

Shelli

Tiffany said...

I have to fight with everyone about my hair. Glad I pay them no mind.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

Anonymous said...

omg this actually brought a couple of tears to my eyes. i'm going to have to print this out. this was genuine and heartfelt. thank you ma'am for writing them.

Anonymous said...

nicely said...makes me think of my own mother and her new found desire to be natural...thank you for the blog

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