Um… WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Yes, this happened for real. And YES, there were A LOT of elements missing from the post. Of course, it’s a personal story re-told in “glimpse” fashion to make a point.
I do not need to defend the conclusion of my story. But I will say this: I STILL HAVE MY MARRIAGE, AND IT’S A BEAUTIFUL ONE. I STILL HAVE MY NATURAL HAIR, AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL TOO. My husband did not really want to end our marriage (re-read the post). I am currently in a more-than-humanly-normal hormonal state (re-read the post).
Hair: Just as trivial as the idea of divorcing someone over hair, is the idea of NOT making at least an EFFORT if your spouse expresses disappointment – especially if it is a change from your initial self (i.e., not TRYING to lose gained weight, not TRYING to dress more attractively, not TRYING to be more sexually active – if you were before). Also, I believe that physical attraction is VERY important in relationships – possibly more important to men than women.
Marriage: Our love story is sweet and full of depth, not bitter and shallow. Marriage in this country is being downplayed something fierce, as evident in how fast most commenters said they would let their marriage and their children’s two-parent household just…dissolve. Men can be insensitive and often are, but they are not ALWAYS cheating. Women can be intuitive and often are, but they are not ALWAYS in tune with what their spouses are feeling and can often ignore important signals to focus on other things like work, children, etc. And thank you to commenter DFig for this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3
Conclusion: The negative feelings toward “nappy” hair out there are REAL. People, even loved ones will say some VERY mean things. I wanted to present a DIFFERENT way to react to the negativity (especially regarding unsupportive spouses). It’s NOT all about YOU. It’s about EVERYONE – all races, all sexes, all religions – and it’s about our children, too. That might sound too deep, but it’s true. What image are we REALLY portraying? At this point in time, my case it is simple (NOT complicated): I believe that my reaction to the situation will show my husband how VERSATILE my natural hair is – that it’s not all about my afro/curly styles (which I believe he thought was true, considering I had not straightened my hair and only done styles like twists and coils for a whole year straight). But that I can do it ALL – curly/straight/weave/whatever! And STILL be able to reach my goal of growing my natural hair longer than it was relaxed, and showing my daughter that her natural hair is beautiful and versatile, too.
Let’s be more POSITIVE. “A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.” Wade Boggs
Your natural hair is only as beautiful as YOU are.
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