Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care

by Tara Lisciandro-Hornich of NaturallyCurly.com

Soon enough, your curly pre-teen will be stepping off the bus, asking if she can borrow your tools, and then begin to straighten her hair. Or, maybe she already has tried to do just that due to some new peer pressure from friends or schoolmates. If either of these is the case, and you want your child to stay naturally curly, choose the path of least resistance.

Middle school years can be even more challenging than those of high school. Why? Children, pre-teen children, are usually exposed to a little more independence in school at this age. They are given some space to grow, not to mention there are some major chemical and physical growth changes during these years, too!

Some kids will go wild with their newfound space, while others will take baby steps to test the waters. Most of all, kids want to see what they are capable of doing with the challenges offered to them on a daily basis.

Straightening her hair may be just one of these challenges. Your child may be bothered by some girls who stare at TVs and glossy magazines portraying straight-haired models, and will want to fit in. Forget homework, they’re looking at the slickest, straightest ‘do Angelina Jolie is rocking.

If your child begins to ask for hair straightening tips, be prepared and don’t put up a big fight. Remember, the path of least resistance is going to take you the farthest.

1. Think back to when your child was just 5 or 6 years old and you said, “Don’t open the frig,” or “Don’t use this by yourself,” or, “don’t (insert absolutely anything here).” All it takes is the word “don’t,” and they will do the opposite of what you say.
2. Sit down with your daughter before you pull out the absolute, “No way!” Ask her why she wants to do this, where learned about it, why she thinks straightening is a good choice. She’s getting older, smarter and more curious. Have an older, smarter, more curious conversation with her.
3. Let her know that, like a lot of things at this point in her life, straightening can be considered an “experiment.” Tell her about the pros and cons, and help her list them out. Maybe she wants to grow her curls out some more? Maybe a new curly haircut would show off her curls a little better? Does she want to try out some new headbands or fancy clips? Show her photos or websites of famous actresses and models—all sporting their curly locks. Find quotes from icons she may look up to who talk about beauty and making good decisions. Then, allow her to make her decision.
4. If she gives you some good reasons or you simply just feel like allowing her to try straightening, then do so, with some help. It may be hard to be mom and hair stylist at the same time, but it could be fun for both of you to try on a new role!
5. Remind your pre-teen that she should protect her hair whenever she uses heat. Help her choose the right heat protection products for her natural hair. You can play the role of “teacher” too by showing your child what happens to hair when it has too much heat, or heat damage. That’s right, pull out those pre-big chop photos!

The Curly Pre-Teen Experiment!

“I get so many compliments when I straighten my hair,” says Alexis, a 13-year-old middle school student. Alexis has just started learning about straightening her perfect curly locks. Her mom is not happy.

“I don’t know why she needs to do this. I tell her how beautiful she is with the curls she has and how just about everyone on the planet would kill for her curls.” says Alexis’ mom.

This interaction is a pretty common pattern between pre-teen curly girls and moms, everywhere. So, as part of an experiment, some of Alexis’ peers, teachers and instructors told her that her straight hair was “different,” instead of pretty. They used the terms “pretty,” “cute,” and “beautiful” for descriptions of her appearance and her clothing, but to her straight hair, only “different.” They commented on her “different look,” and how did Alexis respond?

“I like when people say I’m pretty, but they said I looked ‘different,’ and I thought it really wasn’t worth all of the time I spent straightening my hair just to hear that.” said Alexis.

Since then, Alexis has done a lot less straightening and spent a lot more time on other things she actually enjoys doing, like dance class and yoga.

Everyone loves a compliment, whether you’re a preteen or adult. But if your child can get past the compliments, which are really only words, and rely on her own decision-making ability and build her confidence, rest assured that straightening her curls may not be on the top of her priority list.

It’s a tough one, but it can be done.

Jennifer (not pictured) writes:

On the day of and following my regular wash and conditioning routine, my hair is soft and moisturized. I notice that by the second, third and fourth days the moisture is gone and my ends feel like the desert.


Anonymous asks:

A few weeks ago I came across a video clip from an episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras.” The clip showcased a little white girl who talked about her desire to be “brown” like Beyonce. You can watch the video below:



Now after watching this video, I scrolled down to the comments section and read a wide array of commentary on how “cute” the video was and how “happy” many women were that the standard of beauty was now “reversing.” I must admit that I also smiled during the video- and even shared it with friends.

And while I can understand a certain level at elation that many black women must feel at someone, namely a white person, now praising and even envying our beauty the way many of us have praised and envied theirs (think about how we jumped up for joy when the New York Times featured natural hair), I soon found myself wondering if describing this video as “cute” was actually being a bit hypocritical.

I use the word hypocritical because if this were a little black girl doing the same thing- raving about a white celebrity, trying to lighten her skin, and carrying on about wanting to be “white,” would we be as elated? Would we still find this to be as “cute?”

I have had countless discussions with and observed many black parents who expressed concern and even distress when their black child/children wanted to imitate white celebrities or have so-called “white features.” And I have emphasized the importance of exposing little black girls to images of beauty that are representative of them.

But ironically, in this video clip the white mother doesn’t seem to be that concerned about her daughter developing a “complex.” In fact, she is actually quite supportive of her daughter’s desire to be “brown.” She buys the little girl black Barbies, takes her to get spray tanned, and indulges her.

And many of us watched the clip and smiled.

But would this video have been so acceptable to us if it featured a black girl wanting to be “white?”

And if the answer is “no”, then why did so many black women find this video to be “cute?”
Did you find this clip to be “cute?” And if you did, do you think that indicates a certain level of hypocrisy or a standard of beauty double standard?

via NaturallyCurly

Vickie Milazzo, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller “Inside Every Woman: Using the 10 Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had to Get the Career and Life You Want Now,” offers ten self-renewal strategies every woman can use to replenish her physical energy on a regular basis.

Vickie was recognized as the Most Innovative Small Business by Pitney Bowes’s Priority magazine and received Susan G. Komen’s Hope Award for Ambassadorship. Author, educator, and nationally acclaimed speaker, this multimillionaire entrepreneur shares her vast experience with thousands of women.

Renew Your Physical Energy – This Weekend!

1. Gas up! Give your body the fuel it needs without being fanatical. Boost your energy and immune system with vitamins, antioxidants, green tea, and ground flaxseed with natural Greek yogurt. And since refined carbs and sugars deplete energy, replace them with fruits and vegetables. Eat small amounts every three or four hours, and guard against skipping breakfast or lunch. Your body will compensate, and you’ll lose steam later in the day. Another big mistake women make is avoiding fat altogether. Healthy fats such as omega-3s are essential for physical energy and a strong immune system.
2. Move it. Find a type of exercise that sparks your fire, because you need to enjoy what you’re doing in order to keep doing it! Create a plan that includes variety. Start with aerobics, such as walking, jogging, or biking, and add weight training three times a week to increase lean body mass and boost metabolism. You might also try working out with a trainer. It’s mental of course, but most women are apt to crank out a few more reps or run a few minutes longer when a buff guy named Jerome is watching!
3. Sleep it off. Eight hours every night is essential for daily self-renewal. When you’re sleep deprived, you’ll notice a big difference in your physical condition, mental attitude, and ability to cope with stress. Sleep research has shown that with fewer than eight hours of sleep you are working at increased levels of cognitive deficits. Fewer than six hours of sleep and you’re considered DUI — driving under the influence. So if you want to avoid energy imbalances, skip that late-night TV show and regulate your sleep schedule!
4. Clean up. We all have nutritional vices, but when you’re addicted to strong coffee, for example, you don’t quit cold turkey. In this instance, first replace one scoop of regular coffee in your coffee pot with decaf, then two scoops, and so on. Eventually, you might even start drinking green or white tea so that your energy doesn’t start to sag later in the day. This method of gradual change can be applied to all sorts of unhealthy food and drink.
5. Rub it out. A weekly massage is great for self-renewal. If that’s not realistic for you, start with once a month. You can manage cost by getting discounts at a massage school or by trading massages with a friend. Think of it as maintenance, not a luxury! Your muscles will certainly thank you.
6. Indulge. Treat your body like the temple it is. Carve out a time when you can pamper yourself with a facial, pedicure, or soak in the tub. Even if it means skipping a TV show, you’ll find the extra time spent on yourself well worth the investment.
7. Breathe. Breathe consciously at least once an hour. Expand your lungs. Practice diaphragmatic breathing, consciously taking that diaphragmatic breath all the way into your lower back. Oxygen is energy.
8. Shed your skin. Your skin is your body’s largest organ, and it is responsible for much of your body’s elimination and detoxification. Give yourself a dry brush massage before showering. In minutes you’ll feel wonderful. Start at your toes and work upward, brushing in small circles. Make sure your diet is also rich in healthy foods for your skin.
9. Just say no. Avoid depending on drugs to quickly fix what ails you. Drugs (and herbal remedies) have side effects and often divert you from making changes toward healthy living habits. Before getting on the drug bandwagon, seek healthier, safer alternatives. Better yet, be your own doctor and prescribe a healthy, no-drug lifestyle for yourself.
10. Aim for attainable fitness. Having a healthy, energetic, and trim body at 50 is a perfectly realistic goal. However, looking like a hot 20-year-old in those low-riders won’t happen, and aiming for the latter goal will rob you of the enjoyment of your healthy body.

Committing to physical self-renewal this weekend will set you on the right path for next week — for you, your friends and your co-workers. Positive energy encourages others, so get to it!

How long have you been natural and how long have you been a HEALTHY natural are two different questions. After the length goals post I noticed many naturals commented that they didn’t see growth or good growth (hair with less splits and damage) until they started really learning how to manage their hair and keep it healthy.

As I’ve mentioned many times, I’ve been natural since 2003 but a healthy natural since 2008 when I finally stepped away from the heat torture tools that I used to fry my hair and all the products that did nothing for my kinky curls.

Though my natural journey started eight years ago, I really consider my TRUE starting point in 2008 when I started growing and really caring for my natural hair from right at grazing my shoulders.

I’ve been a healthy haired natural for three years but i’ve been natural for eight years.

What about you? How long have you been natural? How long have you been a HEALTHY haired natural? Is there a difference for you and your hair?

Hola Chicas,

I'm officially restocked! I wrote in to Catherine at Mehandi.com inquiring about all the emails I'd received from you gals this past year detailing your inability to get your hands on my beloved and highly recommended BAQ Jamila Henna (the kind in the foil wrapping). I also wanted deets on the best of the best crop she had in stock... I've been out of the game for a minute and need to play catch up.

Catherine shared a ton, but the gist is that Mehandi is now having their henna's lawsone and pesticide content independently tested and she wasn't impressed with Jamila's results. Apparently their lawsone content- the dye molecule that gives us our amazing results- is unpredictable and the pesticide levels are frequently higher than other hennas due to blowover from nearby cotton farming. Jamila, you're on notice!

So with that, she's since been exploring other options and has brought in several new crops from other areas. The Rajasthani Twilight came highly recommended with one of the highest lawsone contents (2.9%), silky texture (which means easily applied and rinsed), and fine sift. I purchased a kilo (hehe, a kilo) and was gifted 500g of a different Jamila crop to test. So yeah, I'm good... for a while. I'll be back soon with reviews!



#thatisall

Nik

Everyone loses some hair on a daily basis, especially as we get older. But for some, excessive hair loss or shedding can be a problem. Just how much hair loss is normal, and what should you do if you’re losing more?

Is Hair Loss Natural?

The Seattle Hair Loss Treatment & Hair Replacement Systems states that, “During the resting period of the cycle, the hair follicle is reaching the point of detachment and the bulb of the hair shaft moves closer to the surface of the scalp.”

Everyday activities such as brushing your hair, removing a ponytail, or even washing and conditioning your hair are also all part of normal daily hair loss.

How Much Hair Loss is Normal?

Overall, you can expect to be shedding 50-100 hair follicles on a daily basis. This is the normal amount of hair a healthy scalp can except to lose on a daily basis.

If you have much longer hair, however, it may appear that you are losing more than you really are. The same numbers of hairs will grow to replace the hair that has been lost; therefore, you will have roughly the same amount of hair follicles on your scalp at all times.

Is Excessive Hair Loss a Problem?

If you are noticing more than just a few strands of hair falling out while shampooing or brushing your hair, or if follicles are actually coming out in large clumps of hair, it is time to visit your doctor.

There are many different reasons that you could be losing large amounts of hair, including excessive stress, early signs of alopecia, or lack of essential vitamins in your diet.

Excessive hair loss can also be a sign that something more serious is happening within your body. Different circumstances will relate to each patient. More and more women are dealing with hair loss problems than ever, and there are many different types of treatment and support available to help overcome this problem.

How Do I Prevent Hair Loss?

There is no way to completely prevent hair loss, as it is a part of your body’s natural cycle. Shedding is necessary in order for new, healthy pieces of hair to grow in the old hair’s place. In order to make sure that you are not losing large quantities of hair, reduce stress in your life, eat properly, and exercise on a daily basis. If you’re losing hair in patches, then its time to seek support and see your doctor.

Shedding Concerns

Many women are concerned with the amount of hair that they shed — but the process if completely normal!

Now that you know how much hair loss is normal, get a doctor’s opinion if you notice excessive hair loss. If your shedding becomes more serious, that there are plenty of treatments to reverse the issue.

Dana (not pictured) writes:

CN: How long have you been natural?
My last perm was 7 years ago this month, and I did my big chop 7 years ago this November. I've been a healthy hair natural for a year and 3 months meaning no heat styling and using only all natural hair products.

CN: What is your current regimen?
Currently I wash my hair once a week using Karen's Body Beautiful Ultimate Conditioning Shampoo. I then deep condition with Karen's Body Beautiful Luscious Locks deep conditioner. I may co-wash in between washes using Karen's Body Beautiful Ultimate Hair Conditioner.

While my hair is still wet, I use Shea Moisture's Curl smoothie, mixed with Vatika oil or coconut oil and braid my hair in 12 big box braids. Then throughout the week, I spritz Organic Root Stimulator's Nature's Shine oil on my hair and put Shea Moisture's hair smoothie on my ends when I feel they are getting dry. I also only detangle once every 2 weeks ( I saw that my fine strands would break off with constant detangling) and I don't trim all of my hair I just trim those pesky fairy knots.

CN: How do you maintain length? Moisture?
I maintain length and moisture by not heat styling my hair, I also do alot of protective styling weather it be up dos or wigs. I recently found that wigs are a great alternative because I can wash my hair braid it and the next day if I am rushing, it will literally take me seconds to do my hair : ) Unfortunatley wigs can get hot so that's why I love updos too, not only are they elegant and/or funky, but they are great for a hot day! I also take multivitamins, walk a lot and try to eat fruits like melons, bananas, tomatoes and dark greens which are all said to stimulate growth.


CN: How do you protect your curls a night?
I put my hair in 4 big lose braids or a pineapple, and put a satin bonnet on. But now my hair is getting too long for a bonnet because I'm constantly having to stuff my braids in the bonnet... so, I'm thinking of buying a satin pillow.

CN: What would you tell a new natural or transitioning diva?
Be Patient! Natural hair can be frustrating especially since you're used to taking care of straight hair, however once you get the hang of it, everything becomes a routine and your hair will become easy peasy ( no pun intended lol). Also, do your research and find out what works for your hair and what doesn't... not everything works for everybody, some people can do wash and goes and experience hair growth while others experience tangling and breakage. Listen to your hair!



CN: What's the best thing about being naturally glamorous?
The best thing about being naturally glamorous is freedom to be myself. It's always better to be yourself and stand out than to be something you're not and blend in. Glamour begins on the inside and shines so bright it shows on the outside.



CN: Anything else you want to add?
Thank you CurlyNikki for this opportunity. I've been hooked ever since google led me to you : ) ! To everyone who is thinking of going natural, Nike said it best "Just do it". Don't live a life of should of, would of, could of...live a life of purpose and no regrets! Check my blog www.belladolcelife.blogspot.com out. Its about life , love, inspiration and everything in between.

Sweet baby Jesus, has it been a year already?! Got me all verklempt...

Sorry, I've got nothing. No funny tales today... no poop jokes, no witty observations, and sadly, no stories about my national geographics. Although you'd be glad to know that things are perking back up... nipples high to the sky!

Y'all have been there with me since the beginning- the good, and the not so good- so I thought it only fitting that I share her first birthday with her cyber aunties! I kept it really low key and had a small gathering at my new shack home in Happy Valley last night. In attendance-- Momma, Daddy, Syl, hubby, myself, and Boogie of course. We had an amazing time and a chance to reflect and give thanks. Check out the view!

About-- The Hair Therapy Wrap Thermal Turban Heat Wrap is a reusable, heated hair wrap. Remember when deep conditioning meant soaking a scalding hot towel, wringing it out, and it still went cold in 5 minutes? The heated Hair Therapy Wrap does away with that and will stay hot up to 30 minutes, cordless, reusable and NO MORE sitting under electrical hairdryers!



Hola Chicas,

If you've been keeping up with my latest posts, you're more than aware of my current routine-- chunky two strand twists on stretched out hair, worn until I decide to release them to rock a dry twist-out or dry Twist-n-Curl. And when I say 'dry', I mean applying a moisturizer to my dry hair either prior to re-twisting, or to the twists themselves. I've learned that applying the wet product to my loose, dry hair, can cause tangles and matting, but applying it to the twists prevents the drama.

Since I've drastically reduced my styling sessions (I only wash once per month), I've been looking for ways to effectively and efficiently moisturize my hair and keep the cuticle smooth and happy.

So for the past month, for the sole purpose of hair health, I've been applying water based moisturizers to my twists (along with oils), donning my satin bonnet, and then throwing on my thermal heat cap. The results... nothing short of amazing. My hair is left smooth, soft, shiny, moisturized, and *drum roll please*.... 'set'. Imagine my surprise! The heat really molds my hair and locks in the 's curl' of the twists without the straw like feeling after a bonnet dryer session.

I was so amazed and happy with my results that I reached out to chemist and friend, Nicole Hollis of Hair Liberty to find out if this was some sort of crazy fluke or placebo effect. To my surprise, she validated my findings. haha, I feel like a scientist! Apparently, applying this mild and gentle form of heat to hair that is lightly saturated with moisturizing butters and oils, mimics a deep treatment... with the added benefit of perfectly set curls! I'm enjoying defined (but HUGE, and voluminous) hair that is less prone to frizz, reversion, and dryness. My hair absorbs and retains the moisture and the set lasts and lasts! I'm talking days. On a dry set. Yep yeppers.

Moisturizers I'm Using (one or more of the following):

- Qhemet Biologics Cocoa Tree Detangling Ghee***
-CURLS Curl Souffle
-Oyin Handmade's Shine and Define

Oils I'm Using:

-Treasured Lock's African Argan Oil Elixir
-Burts Bees Nourishing Baby Oil (full of porosity reducing ceramides)
-A homemade mix of Agran and Castor oils

Serums/Anti-Humectants I'm Using:

-Sabino Lok and Blok
-Aveda Anti-Humectant Pomade

Heat Cap:

I own the 'micro heat cap' which has been discontinued in most places. But a very similar product can be purchased HERE. I now have this one too and LOVE It!

My process:

-Apply moisturizer to twists... just enough to make them damp. The one's listed above, especially the Ghee, leaves ZERO residue or flakes. I don't have to add water.
-Apply a light coating of oil to seal (optional)
-Cover hair with a scarf to hold down roots, and then with a satin bonnet
-Heat cap in the microwave for 1 minute
-Wear cap for 15-30 minutes (with twists flipped up so that the ends are near your crown and under the hat)
-Allow hair to cool if you plan to immediately release the twists.
-Apply a light layer of anti-humectant pomade or serum to your twist-out or Twist-n-Curl prior to leaving house, if appropriate.

I usually apply the moisturizer to my twists, satin bonnet, heat cap, and then leave the twists be... repeating the process the next week. I only add rollers and serums if I plan to rock a Twist-n-Curl.

This has been amazing for my low manipulation routine, allowing me to keep my hair happy even though I'm washing and styling WAY less.

Hope that all made sense!

Nik

p.s. sometimes I do a warm oil treatment, skipping the moisturizer altogether. Leaves my hair unbelievably soft!

Alrighty, I am by no means an overly-sensitive, controversial curly. I wholeheartedly believe that POSITIVE energy begets POSITIVE results. But I really couldn't hold my tongue (er, uh - pen) on this one.

My coils are weeping a bit.

Long story short my mane had it's feelings hurt the other night whilst watching the reality show "Dance Moms." In this particular eppy, the "instructor" Ms. Abby dressed little African-American cutie Nia (age 10, not pictured) in a leopard print jumpsuit with a curly afro, giving her an "ethnic" dance solo to "They Call Me LaQueefa." (I'd never heard of the song, & don't care to again. For real; my ears itched after hearing it). Nia's mother Holly went slap off, saying over & over again she didn't want her little girl wearing a "stereotypical, 70's afro" & dancing to that music because it was not her black experience. Not to mention, the other girls happened to have solos potraying angels in beautiful costumes & such. Holly exclaiming to the other mommies that Ms. Abby "might as well have my baby picking cotton w/an Aunt Jemima wig on" was like rusty nails being snatched through my kinks. OUCH.

Now, while Ms. Abby's choices would raise eyebrows of ANY background (the choreography was trash with little more than rump-shaking & eye-winking), I was a little more than hurt that Holly viewed afros this way. I mean, really? Although the wig was uber atrocious (Holly picked it out), and I see where Holly was going, I wish she'd chosen better words to describe her anger/frustration. She is an educated, articulate, seemingly classy woman, who's been holding off getting with tyrant Abby for a minute. I think any reasonable parent would, given how poorly Ms. Abby treats the girls & rides Nia's back. Even so, little Nia always handles herself with more grace & elegance than many adults even with a Shrek-ish woman yelling in her face! Constantly. Verbal smackdown time had come. But maybe it arrived on the shoulders of naturalistas?

By the way, I saw a post where I believe Holly stated on Twitter that Nia began school this year in braids. I do not believe Holly has it in for naturals... I think anger took control. After all, there's nothing like a mamma scorned. And creative television editing. Hmmmmm.

Hola Chicas!

I wanted to quickly check-in and let you know that (1) I had an excellent henna experience the other day... the color is richer and shinier and the volume is turned up, (2) I wore my previously CurlFormer stretched hair in 11 twists for 2 days before releasing it to reveal the style below, (3) I skipped the flexi rods and pin curled just the ends of each twist using a little conditioner and a bobby pin, and (4) using a very minimal amount of Treasured Locks Argan oil left me with a soft, touchable, shiny set. I got a little frizz thanks to Hurricane Irene but it was the good kind.