Not Many Can Sport That “I Just Don’t Care Look”


by Tammy of Curly Chic

So who isn’t in love with Rachel True’s beautiful huge head of hair?! I admit I did not watch the episodes when they were on however now that the reruns come on every day on TVone, I am a huge fan. Mona, played by Rachel True and her sister, Dee Dee, played by Essence Atkins couldn’t be more opposite! In fact, the only thing they have in common is their father. I was watching an episode called “The Big In With The In Crowd” where Mona is hanging out with Dee Dee and her group of friends and it is almost immediately apparent that they are not her type and the feeling is mutual. Wouldn’t you know it, the one other sista in the group has something negative to say. “That is some hair, you know the natural bed head look is all over the magazines” – at first this resembles a compliment right? Until she hits her with “not many people can sport that “I just don’t care look”. Quite “naturally” I am completely tuned in to that statement. I have been hit with a few negative comments as well. This particular episode was filmed in 2002 which is when I started my natural hair journey. I thought it was pretty dead on accurate with regards to the attitude towards natural hair. If you’ve never seen the episode, feel free to click here and check it out. Still love Rachel’s hair and skin.

What ignorant a$$ comments has someone said to you and how did you respond? How do you cope?

Sharing hairstories and life experiences from a curl’s perspective. Find Tammy at her blog, Curlychics, on Twitter, and Facebook.

33 Weigh in!:
Anonymous said...

Regarding Rachel True's hair my sister & I always wondered if all the hair was really hers, I think she had pieces added in for volume...

Anonymous said...

I have always loved loved loved Rachel True's hair and style. The most ignorant thing someone has said to me is "Oh well you got that 'good hair'" and this statement came from a hair stylist.

Anonymous said...

Really? Can someone please tell me the benefit of sharing ignorant, insulting comments? Isn't there a better way to uplift and encourage each other along the natural hair journey?

Anonymous said...

Please don't answer the above question. Please don't post insults by people who were truly trying to hurt you. Please move on to another POSITIVE topic.

WineGrrl said...

I think it would be better to share strategies to cope with bullying...which is basically what people who make these comments are trying to do.

Anonymous said...

The reality is that not all the topics surrounding our hair are positive and uplifting but they can still be helpful. Although they would not admit it,IMO, many more black women would go natural if they were not afraid of what other people said or thought and many may not know how to deal with negative feedback and have given up on their natural journies. I've been natural now for almost four years, plan to always rock my hair in its' natural state, am confident and a self reliant person but was recently very hurt by a comment someone made regarding my hair. I actually started doubting myself and I did turn to another natural hair site for support and insight on how to take that particular incident and found it very helpful to hear some of the other women's experiences. This article and others like it may not help you but you don't know what others may take from it.

Anonymous said...

correction on my post @2:06pm *journeys*

Anonymous said...

Sadly I still hear things like this in 2012. Doesn't bother me. I love my hair & have been rockin it "diffferently" since grade school. Its not for everyone & that's ok :)

Anonymous said...

IMO, simply sharing negative comments and insults is not helpful. However sharing strategies on how to handle negative comments can be helpful.

Anonymous said...

To all of the posters who are against sharing comments, the questions clearly ask what were the comments and how do you cope. So she does ask for coping strategies.

Anonymous said...

My roommate told me that she could never go natural because she would lose the interest of men who weren't black. I said, "i don't live my life around men but let's be clear; i pull more men & diverse men than you." I may be out of school but I ain't forgot how to read. I don't give ignorant answers but i make sure to read for filth when people come at me sideways...

Anonymous said...

This question was not orignally there. There was a different question earlier. There was nothing mentioned about how do you cope earlier.

I guess she changed it.

Anonymous said...

Come on y'all, chill.

Anywhoo, I like the poster's response @Jan 27 2:11pm, and plan to use it if the occasion arises,"...Its not for everyone & that's ok ..."

Anonymous said...

An older gentlemen(late 50's early 60's) told me to "comb my hair"- with a sheepish grin I said only if you comb yours first.

Confirmed what I already know people are not only ignorant they are crazy !

Anonymous said...

The questions "How did you respond? and How do you cope?" were not in the original post. That is why some of the earlier commenters were questioning the value of simply sharing negative comments and insults. These added questions make the discussion more solution focussed.

les said...

Sometimes you have to look the offender up and down real slowly starting from their feet and walk around them like something is wrong with them or you can say" When did you step off the cover of VOGUE magazine?" Or you can say "You do you and i'll do me!" When someone walks up to you and starts criticizing your hair ,you have to realize its not really about you.That person has the problem!When you don't feel good about yourself you try and attack others.

Jeannette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeannette said...

I used to watch the show faithfully then and still watch it on occassion now. I remember all throughout the show they commented on the character Mona's hair and fashion style. I just over looked it. I personally have not been met with any negative comments. The only negative thing people have said is that not everyone can wear that style or natural hair. I never understood that because I always believe that if it's the natural hair that grows out of your head, then yes, you can wear it. But to each his own :). But I always loved Rachel True's hair. From what I've seen. Throughout her career, she has been true to her natural hair.

Anonymous said...

I actually like everything Les said... Thanks, I really needed to read that after today.

Actually, I started a post about this topic on the forum today. This morning, I decided to not pin my hair back from my face or put a headband on like I normally do. Just tired of always doing those two styles for the last 5 months. So, I decided, I would wear my hair with a part after a 3 day old cornrow out. Needless to say, my hair was pretty big and fluffy. I thought I looked cute and so did my younger sister. Get to work and someone asked me if I put my finger in a light socket. (a black man... mind you) Then a very good friend of mine, (older male early 50s) that I was telling the incident to, started laughing and said "well you do have the runaway slave look going today" I felt so bad and that's why I started to post to see what other did to make themselves feel better after someone said something really discouraging about their hair.


Thankfully, a guy who over head the light socket comment told me later on, I like your hair.

And recently a random female told me she liked my hair too.

So, it goes to show you, you can't live for people. Do what you feel. I love my natural and it hurts if others don't like but you know what? screw them.. This is how God created me!

Anonymous said...

@ Annonymous 4:31, thanks 4 sharing people can be so damn cruel. I went to my dad's house one day and had a scarf on, my dad said why do I have "that thing on my head looking like Aunt Jemina" I said " I look like your mother" he didnt say nothing, I just shut him up!

KeepItMovingDotCom said...

When asked if I planned on "finally doing something with that hair" I simply replied, "just wait right here in this spot, don't move. since you're living for what i do with my hair, just hold your breathe and wait."
>eye roll>pivot>turn and sashay.
Peace.

Anonymous said...

lmao @ i look like your mother hahahaha...I could never say something like that to my dad haha...

also "well you do have the runaway slave look going today" is so f-ing stupid, i just can't.

Anonymous said...

I was rocking some medium sized twist as me first crack at wearing twist as a style. I twisted the twist to give them a crinkled look after a few days. A co-worker looked at my hair, touched it and said, "My friends would dog me out if I wore some ish like this in my hair!"
EXCUSE ME?!?
Mind you she is and was rocking the relaxed, colored broken off look.

Anonymous said...

The rude comment came from my neighbor, after a long day at work, I took my hair band off and let it hang free. He came over and made the comment that I look like I put my hand in an electrical socket. I told him that I was not trying to impress anyone I was home in my house and I was comfortable. In other words, its my head and I'll do what I want! I think some black people don't understand their value, all of us are not alike and why can't I wear my hair natural if I want too. Going natural has taught me to take better care of my hair. I can't just pull it back anymore. I love my natural hair!

Anonymous said...

An acquaintance came to my house when I was wearing braided extensions and she said to me "you've changed your hair. It looks SOOO much better like this. The other way you had it - it looked HIDEOUS. DON'T wear that style again." (referring to my big chopped TWA of a few months back. I was horrified so I just looked at her. I sure wish I had thought of a polite but firm comeback. This is like the 4th time she had something insulting to say about my natural hair. (She is a firm believer in braided extensions and cheap weaves.)

Emmanuella said...

Sometimes people need to vent, you don't have to be productive and searching for solutions all the time. Personally I'd love the chance to rant about something someone said, the poster can write WHATEVER she wants.

Anonymous said...

I get that type of remark from people often. However, it's rare that I wear my hair in twist outs, or out of a protective style. (My style of.choice would be two strand twists), but people often feel the need to let me know how my hair makes them feel. "Ooh wee girl, I just couldn't do it, but you go ahead and work it! " While I personally don't care what people say, I find it odd that they just keep talking. If you like it just leave it at that.

RandomlySpeaking said...

You know the real problem is that while we may look like to others we just rolled out the bed and went out the house it took a good while for us to get that look going- i think that's the major reason to be offended if any.

Erica S said...

I just call them out on their ignorance. Straight up. Especially if it's in a large group. I refuse to stand here and feel uncomfortable. I'm going to make YOU feel uncomfortable for bringing it up by calling you out on your ignorance. Of course it's always in a respectable way. I don't want to look like the "angry black girl" either. lol

Anonymous said...

I don't think that is Rachel True in that screen shot with Essence Atkins...even with the surprised look, it doesn't look like her.

sepia_honey said...

One guy told me that he thought I would look nice with a Chinese bob haircut. I told him that I wasn't Chinese, nor was my hair the same texture as a Chinese person and thus that type of hairstyle would be impossible for me to achieve!

Afro Adie said...

Once I was asked by a hair stylist (she's natural, but wears her hair straightened), "Why would anybody want to wear their hair like that?" (refferring to my afro) I replied, "Like what, how God created it?" I don't let the comments get to me anymore. I wear my hair the way I do for myself and not for others, so I could care less what anyone thinks anymore. Kinky, coily, curly hair ROCKS!!!

Anonymous said...

lol @ Anonymous Jan 27, 2012 5:10pm. Whenever I wear my scarf around the house, my dad calls me Aunt Jemima too. I don't mind though because he doesn't mean it as an insult. Its just the playful teasing he does to everyone in the house

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...