Learning the Truth About Yourself


by Kim Jackson of PeaveLoveandPrettyThings

In order to reach your full potential and discover your purpose, it is vital that you learn the truth about yourself.


I have a deep seated belief that I’m not as smart or creative as I think, and that my endeavors won’t necessarily be successful or that people will hate what I’ve done. I know that this is because of the messages that were drilled into my head by my peers when I was a child and a teen. I skipped two grades in elementary school because I was an advanced learner. School just came easily to me. So my peers were, for the better part of my formative years, two years older than me and very often—just plain old mean. They didn’t understand why parents and principals and newspapers were so fascinated by me and would be sure that I knew they were certainly not impressed. And let’s be real: at that age it’s really your peers’ approval that you’re seeking—not your parents’. And so I shrunk against the weight of their scrutiny and tried not to be so “good”.

Even now, I continue to struggle with feelings that I could and should have done more and that I would be so much farther along in life and career if I had only done "X" (notice all the words there that don’t belong? “Woulda, coulda, shoulda” much?). So it is a constant struggle to allow myself to be a success at anything—oh I do well at things, but I have to push myself mentally and emotionally to really excel. I have to get really good with my self-talk to not only be unafraid to fail, but to be unafraid to succeed.

In order to establish and maintain healthy relationships, it is important to learn the truth about yourself.

I have a little bit of relationship baggage. I have an ex boyfriend who, every time we had a disagreement or he perceived me to have done something ‘wrong’, would stop speaking to me. Well—I’d get a few choice words via text or email and then he’d stop speaking to me. For days. And when he had been really offended, he’d break up with me (only to later come back). This cycle went on for way too long, and even though I eventually became immune to it with him, I still occasionally have moments of fear in my current relationship. When the honey and I have a disagreement there’s a moment where my stomach flips, and I’m terrified that he’s going to leave, before I remind myself that this is just my egoic insecurity and talk myself off the ledge.

My point in each of these stories is that I’ve learned enough about myself to know when I’m operating out of fear, or reacting based on past pain that is completely unrelated to my current situation. And that is how you too can overcome whatever it is you fear. Learn what your triggers are so that you are able to control yourself when they are tipped. You can start to take your power back just by being aware.

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PLPT is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance should be an essential part of every woman's beauty regimen. We use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to find their own truths and live fabulously.

8 Weigh in!:
curlytarheel said...

My brother and I were also advanced two years - started school early a year and skipped a grade in elementary school. Your post speaks right to me, from shrinking for others' sake to the woulda, shoulda, couldas from not knowing exactly what I wanted to do in life when others did having been 2 years younger.

My favorite quote/affirmation has become:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Courtney B. said...

I really needed to read this. Kim and GG are wonderful writers, and their posts are always on time. Thanks for sharing Nikki!

Natural Beauty said...

Great advice.
(celebrateyournaturalbeauty.blogspot.com)

Anonymous said...

Thank you! From a former "little smart girl".

sammiegotsoul said...

Im going through this stage of my life at this very chapter of my life. big chopped trying to find my true inner confidence and honest whole self. Growing to truely love EVERYTHING about me. Because how can i openly let someone else love me and love freely. deep thought. great article.

Tiffany said...

What a good post Kim.

Anonymous said...

there is a lot of us out here trying to find our inner confidence, i am one of them, i dont feel alone now, you can feel quite alone in this journey. i am trying everyday. thank you for the post

Joyce said...

Great article. Curlytarheel's quote/affirmation says it best! I strive to truly love everything about me each and everyday! Thanks for sharing!

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