April 3, 2014

Overcoming the Natural Hair Blues


Tammy Goodson of CurlyChics

The great thing about natural hair is every day is new, which can be good and bad. It’s like that box of chocolates Forest Gump always talked about.

• Stop expecting perfection
Perfection is unattainable and to expect it is setting yourself up for failure. Natural hair is unpredictable as are most things in life. You and your mane will not always be kindred spirits but it will help if you keep things in perspective.

• Greatness cannot be achieved at every try
Striving for greatness is commendable. It is what you are supposed to do with the caveat that you may not achieve it every single time. There will be set backs even when you’ve done everything “right”. Tomorrow is your next opportunity for a great hair day.

Read On!>>>


• Stop and breathe – it’s only temporary.
Everything is temporary. DO NOT make hair decisions when you are in an emotional down state. It will lead to making wrong choices such as reaching for that trouble in a box (relaxer) or getting scissor happy. All of which could lead to regret once you’ve calmed down.

• Remain enthusiastic about your tresses
Focus on the good times you’ve had with her. That bomb braid out you rocked earlier in the week or that fly pin up style everyone gave you so many compliments on will remind you of great hair days and motivate you to push forward. The true test is loving your hair even when you aren’t having a good hair day.

How do you fight the natural hair blues? Help another chica out!


Sharing hairstories and life experiences from a curl’s perspective. Find Tammy at her blog, Curlychics, on Twitter, and Facebook.

15 Weigh in!:

ABRUNNIN said...

" DO NOT make hair decisions when you are in an emotional down state"-- so true!! I'm in TWA phase and I got so frustrated with it that I got a sew-in last week. I've been missing my hair every single day since I got it :(

The Chocolate Loveliness That Is FraƱa said...

Don't trim your hair while mad! I did that and boy was I sad afterwards!
I don't know how many times my bad hair days (style attempts gone wrong) ended up getting a lot of compliments.
You really just have to enjoy every part of being natural. The good, the bad, and the "what the hell is wrong with you today!".

Anonymous said...

Great post! I've been completely natural for about a year (transitioned for a year prior). I can't count the number of times I was frustrated but in the end, it was all worth it! I love my hair on the good and bad days!

Anonymous said...

Last night my daughter's friend stated that my hair looked nice (4c tapered twa coilout).

Personally, I thought it looked like a bunch of spiders having an orgy, but said "thank you honey" anyway.

Later that evening I looked in the mirror to see what he saw, and I noted that the individual coils were dark, shiny, cute and poppin'.

I find myself least satisfied with my styling results when I'm looking at it very closely, or just focusing on the problem areas (those thin edges).

When one stands back and takes a look at the hairstyle as a whole, kinky natural hair actually looks uniquely pretty.

HTH

ps: Always remember *paraphrases Rick James* (creamy) "crack is one helluva drug!"

Abstract said...

When experimentation fails, go back to a tried and true style even if it's plain. Also, it may help to remember to celebrate your hair for all the things it can do instead of being down about what you perceive that it can't do.

Sophie said...

Great post! That first one is a realization that has been a real turning point for me. I thought my hair was "unmanageable" until I thought "wait... what do I even mean by manageable??" When I try to help my hair do what is it trying to, and not work and rework my hairdo over and over because a little frizz is happening it behaves so much better!

RandomlySpeaking said...

I have been on this natural hair journey for 2 yrs February 26. The last two weeks is the first time I ever wore my hair out at work. It has been behaving quite well i must say. I've gotten compliments. But the best thing happened today. This older lady tapped me on the shoulder and said where do you go to get your hair done? Did you do that? (It was only a twist out, pinned at the top and loose in the back) I said yes i just twist it at night and unravel in the morning. She said its pretty i like it, i've been going natural but i dont know what to do really, but your hair is beautiful and you are inspiring me. Thinking about that made me tear up because I have been so reluctant because I went natural due to hair loss and I was afraid of actually doing it 100% but I just got it in my head and heart that I dont care anymore like it or not it is what it is. Yes i have to pin in places where there isnt much hair but nobody can tell. And i feel good. I'm grateful to CurlyNikki.com and all the youtubers. You guys rock! And so do I. :)

Mauve_Avenger said...

the french braid is my bff when my hair isn't behaving. i don't think i've ever been super emotional about a bad hair day, though. which is odd for me, because I tend to freak out over a lot of things...

Lydia said...

Totally bookmarking this page. I was in love with my hair when it was stretched out after removing kinky twists. But then when I went to wash it and ended up with a 3.5 hr detangling session, I had a MAJOR moment. "Should I texturize?" "Hell, why am I natural to begin with?" lol At 20 months into the natural game, it's definitely still a game of up and downs, but I'm hangin' in there!

Ebony said...

I recently went through a time where I had a product that always worked for me stop working. I think it was just the change in the weather but also my hair is curlier this year than it was a year ago. I was really frustrated because my hair didn't look anything like what I had been used to the last several months. But I tried to make the best of it. It didn't look bad but it didn't look its best. I just had to accept it until I could find the right product to help it get back to normal. It's good to know that others are faced with similar struggles on their natural hair journeys as well. It's a journey.

~The Domestic Failure said...

I've been going back and forth with the idea of getting a sew in lately. My 1 year naturalversary is in June and I haven't experienced the growth I expected--not to mention all I've seen around me are women with long straight hair (Madison, WI doesn't have much of a natural scene). I'm trying to tough it out because I think stress is making me feel this way; a crazy work schedule and a recent breakup with my fiance are playing with my emotions.

Anonymous said...

This month is my 1yr "naturalversary" so I took down my Senegalese twists. I washed and did a twist out with Kinky Curly. HATED IT. My 4b/c hair was semi defined (lovely), and semi frizzy (side-eye). Went to a bday party all embarrassed, and my cuz is like "That's cute! Did u go to a natural salon? I can't get that much texture for anything." I was flattered, shocked, and still gave my hair the side-eye in the mirror.

Carla said...

I am dealing with excessive shedding now due to low ferritin levels. I'm trying to raise my levels, but it will take time. Having thinning hair is the ultimate hair blues...

Anonymous said...

I just had a bad hair moment yesterday. I did my first twist out saturday morning. I left the twist in allday saturday and took them down sunday before church. I was not pleased when I took my hair out. I was so upset that I didn't want to go to church. However I got myself together fluffed my hair and keep it moving. Don't get me wrong I was still bothered by my jacked up hair but what could I do at that moment. Once I got home I took my EVOO & water mixture wet my hair and did my signature braids. Today I feel so much better. I agree with other young lady that said " go back to a tried and true style even if it's plain" The braid out works better for me than the twist out so when else felled I went back to what I know.

KimmyC

Anonymous said...

I am in transition and yesterday I had the hair blues... I was ready to go back to the (CC) I thinks its good to have someone to reach out to. After I chatted with my niece who is natural I was ready to continue my journey..She got me back on track..

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