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April 12, 2012

The Truth About Getting What You Want



It's all fun and games and positive affirmations when you're trying to accomplish something. But how about when you actually get the gig and you’re like “Oh Sh*t!”, what do I do now? How will I have time for this and everything else on my plate? What if I don’t live up to expectations?

This is it. This is what you’ve prayed about, visualized, and spoke into existence. And now that it’s here in your lap, you’re freaking out.

Maybe I shouldn’t speak for you. You’re probably poised and capable at all times. Not a hair or a mission statement out of place. That’s okay. I see you. And one of these days I’ll be like you.

But for now, I freak out. I question myself and I worry. All the while, there’s a calm place inside of me that knows without a shadow of doubt that doors will open, growth will occur, and amazing things are ahead. I try to live from that place as much as possible and let its enduring calm reign over my thoughts and my perception of things.

While on the subject of thoughts, I haven’t achieved supreme mastery over my thoughts just yet. Wouldn’t that be lovely? I feel like I’d be a zen rock star if I had complete control over my many musings.

No mean thoughts. No bad memories resurfacing. No paranoia.

But even with my wanderlust of a mind, I do know how to redirect my thoughts when they turn disturbia. First, you can’t dwell on things that bring you down. Second, no overthinking. Finally, no player hating or cock blocking. Even the mental kind. Those things cause inertia. Inertia keeps you from getting what you really want.

We know that getting what we want can be scary, so let’s all take a moment and make a list of what we are so afraid of. Let’s call the monsters out! Having a dream fulfilled is supposed to be a triumphant moment, so what are the drawbacks (whether real or bogus) that cause us to get cold feet when opportunity knocks? I’ll go first!

I worry that…

…my children, relationship, family and friends will not receive enough attention and support from me if I’m so occupied with my career and personal projects

…I won’t have the creative capacity to keep coming up with fetching ideas, thus my work will get boring

…people won’t “get” me/won't receive me well

…my income won’t be reliable or sustainable

...as an introvert, I'll struggle with networking and other ghastly things that I don't enjoy but are necessary

...I'll quit when things get tough.

What else? Share your little thought monsters with me below. I bet they'll seem small and unreasonable when you see them written down.


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PLPT is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance should be an essential part of every woman's beauty regimen. We use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to find their own truths and live fabulously.

14 Chime in!:

b. said...

Are you peeping in my window?

This is the convo I am having with myself (and to a certain extent, my hubby) as I transition from one job to another highly-sought after job. There are a few other prominent life changes and smaller goings-on that are providing me with the stress that only comes from good things. Stress, nonetheless...

Thank you for this.

wisecurls said...

Thank you for this GG. Your words always come at just the perfect time. I'm with B above - are you peeping in my window, too? My monsters are very similar to yours.

Thank you again.

Kandyapple said...

This post is definitely speaking to me. I've been trying to get a promoted. My boss is a firm believer in hiring from within and putting your employees in a position to grow. I told her what I wanted and she handed over some things to help me transition to the my desired position. Well, I mentioned to her my load was a bit lighter these days and I'd be willing to take on some more. Well, she mentioned task/responsbility that make me freak out at first. Can I really do this? and I hope I don't mess this up were my first thoughts. I've always doubted myself and am probably not further along in life/career b/c of getting in my own. I'm trying to change that about myself, but it is a hard habit to break. It is so easy believing negative things about yourself. I just keep pushing along and I will be know that nothing but good things will come my way if I believe in myself.

Ronidbh said...

Yes, yes, yes and amen! It's terrifying getting what you want but once the monsters are revealed they don't have as much power. This was right on time for me. Thank you.

theabsolutemost.com said...

What can I possibly say. Right now in many aspects of my life I feel complacent. I have decided to go back to school because I have such a love for Art. In the beginning of this year I say so much motivation and maybe it was the start of the new year which inspired new things but with it being the end of the 1st quarter I am not feeling so motivated. I am in a debate of changing jobs while finishing school versus staying at my current job until I am finished with school. I have no idea what to do and where to start. I know I need a change and I need a change fast. I fear this will be my life and I need more excitement. This can't be it..is it?

Anonymous said...

this is so what i'm working towards and so afraid of as well, but it's definitely a leap of faith! Thank you for this post- nice to know I'm not alone in this! :)

Afropean Queen said...

beautiful post, couldn't have come at a better time for me. Thank you so much for this post.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful, timely post. I'm graduating next month, looking for jobs, and just trying to get my life together. I've been blessed to come across a number of jobs in which I am interested, but for some strange reason, all I can do is stare at the job ads. I have not applied for a single one. Gonna take a deep breath, tell inertia to "beat it," and go for it.

844d9ff8-4357-11e0-bb56-000bcdcb5194 said...

It's like God personally sent me a letter this morning telling me to trust Him and don't worry. I decided to move to Paris a few months ago and the minute I spoke the words aloud everything in the Universe has been moving to make that happen. So much so, that my current job is offering to transfer me to their France office so I can still work. And like the author, I kind of freaked out, yesterday to be exact, when the levity of what I put in motion really hit me. What if I never understand French? (yes, i decided to move there w/ knowing the language) what if my introvert ways causes me not to meet new friends (no, I don't know a soul there) What if I get to this new office and can't cut it? What if I disappoint everyone who's rooting for me? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? I have a million of those questions going through my head, but today this letter is for me... Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and for sending your angels even in the form of an unknown blogger who feels where I'm coming from.

Unknown said...

Hi!

I'm Autumn!

How is it you can read my mind?

Seriously though, this hit home in a very real way. Having just put pen to paper, giving myself a guideline for the future, all I could think was "WHAT AM I DOING!?" The responsiblity and the accountability scare me the most. Letting people down is one of my biggest fears. So, if I just stay stagnant, I'm not dissappointing anyone, right? That little, illogical voice likes to creep up on me when I'm feeling most vulnerable. What I've learned though (or made up, who knows) is that time is relative. If I can visualize myself in the future - minutes, days, weeks or months ahead - reminiscing about "the time I freaked out" then in a way I've acknowledged the fact that I'm going to get through the situation and, ultimately, succeed!

Adrienne said...

Wow! When things align, they REALLY DO align. I have the same butterflies in my stomach ;)

Stephanie said...

I am getting ready to graduate from college, just BC'd...here are my worries:

I worry that I'm going to fall apart or have nervous breakdown before I get to graduation

I worry that I'm not going to enjoy working full-time or that it's going to be a mistake not going to grad school first.

I worry that my boyfriend and I will not work out

I worry that I won't satisfy God though the life that I am living...

These are just a few of the worries.

Thank you for this article. It is truly therapeutic. God Bless!

Decemberpumpkin said...

such true words really got me to try to let go of these worries

T.Sanders said...

This is excellent and came right on time! I recently recieved news that my book of poems got published. I should have been ecstatic. After all, I've only been rejected a thousand times in the last three years. Instead I feel fear and doubt:
What if my book doesn't sell?
What if my readers are disappointed?
I work in marketing but like you I am an introvert and internally I feel socially awkward. How can I promote myself if I don't know how to interact with others?
I feel like my talent went to sleep on me. When I sit down to write, I suddenly get writer's block. If I do write I revise, revise, revise. Like nothing that comes out is good enough.
Instead of maximizing on the blessing I am freaking out. Your article is helpful. Now I know I am not alone.

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