by GG of PeaceLoveandPrettyThings
Ever since my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I've been worried that I would eventually face the same fate.
When you have a family history of mental illness, or any health issue/disease for that matter, you can easily become engrossed with the idea that you are going to get sick, too. You might mistake normal bodily changes and occurences as more serious symptoms because you're subconsciously waiting for this self-fulfilling prophecy to come to pass.
Even before she was diagnosed, there were obvious peculiarities to her behavior that I also recognized in my maternal grandmother. So, I didn't need the diagnosis to know that there was something going on with them that seemed to have been passed down from mother to daughter. With this awareness, I would look at myself in the mirror and feel so hopeless. Entering adulthood, I harbored thoughts of being damaged and broken. I didn't think I had a chance.
I don't think that way anymore, but I do hear voices. Not the persecuting voices that my mother and grandmother would often speak of, but there are murmurs of fear that linger in my mind that I have to constantly silence. They tell me that my family history has predisposed me to a life mental and emotional struggle, and that I won't be able handle the life that I want for myself. I know these are lies, but sometimes I lose my resolve and I doubt. I don't trust my own experience.
Can you in some way relate these feelings to your life? Is there something that you are allowing to hold you back? Today, I'm asking you to join me in being brave and facing those fears. I believe that personal power starts with awareness. God gives us everything that we need and often, due to our circumstances, we are too afraid to see it. Give yourself a chance to write your own story. Just give yourself a chance.
Promise? Okay, me too.
PLPT is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance should be an essential part of every woman's beauty regimen. We use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to find their own truths and live fabulously.