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September 13, 2012

Needs, Wants and Living Without Regret

 
Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. ~Author Unknown

What drives you more -- needs or wants? Are you more likely to make decisions based on what you think is best for you in the long run or what will satisfy you most in the moment? The uncertainty of life requires that we find some kind of balance between these two concepts.

On the one hand, tomorrow is not promised and we don't want to constantly deny ourselves of things that bring us pleasure. On the other hand, living in a reality of complete indulgence and immediate gratification is chaotic at best, isn't it?
***

I went through a period in my life where I was constantly in crisis. My decisions were all based on what I felt would make me feel best in the moment. During that time, I was insecure, impressionable, and disconnected from myself. I didn't admit it to myself at the time, but I now know that I didn't believe I had a future worth protecting. I didn't believe in myself and my faith was weak, so the decisions I made for my life reflected that.

I'm certainly not in that place anymore, but I can still see it clearly in my rearview. In many ways, I'm still paying for the choices I made back then. I haven't gotten rid of the regret yet (perhaps I never will), but I dwell on it less and less. What about you? Are you a recovering chaos junkie like me? Or maybe you've always played it safe and now you don't know how to indulge yourself. Most of us can relate in some way to both of these extremes. 
***

Have you ever thought about this concept of needs and wants and how your approach to it has shaped your life? It's worth some self-reflection. Whether we realize it or not, our tendency to lean towards one or the other often causes regret and dissatisfaction in our lives. We wonder, what if I'd done things differently? What if I'd been more responsible? What if I'd married the wild one instead of the stable one? What if I'd taken that job overseas? What if I'd done the unthinkable instead of the expected? What if I'd saved and planned for the future instead of living outside of my means?

Really, we can drive ourselves crazy with the what if's. Or, we can sit back and observe our decisions without judging them as right or wrong. What we've done, what we haven't done -- it's just our path. We don't always do or even know what's best for us. Our hearts and minds disagree more often than not and yet they must coexist. We always have the option to change the way we do things if it's not working so just keep doing the best you can to seek balance and leave the regrets behind. 
 
 
 
PLPT is co-authored by Kim Jackson and GG Renee with the intention of connecting with women through messages of self-love and personal freedom. We believe that true beauty starts on the inside and radiates outward, so maintaining emotional health and balance should be an essential part of every woman's beauty regimen. We use this platform as an opportunity to share our personal experiences, and to help other women who are seeking guidance to find their own truths and live fabulously. 

9 Chime in!:

deb said...

ha, this is perfect timing. I just made a pretty (ok really) bad decision that I have a feeling I will regret in the future. Pretty much based on this "
My decisions were all based on what I felt would make me feel best in the moment. During that time, I was insecure, impressionable, and disconnected from myself. I didn't admit it to myself at the time, but I now know that I didn't believe I had a future worth protecting. I didn't believe in myself and my faith was weak, so the decisions I made for my life reflected that.


I was about to start beating myself on the head profusely but realized I need to reflect and learn from what I have done and move forward. This was a really great post, thank you.

Davina916 said...

I try to live my life without regrets. It's hard sometimes.

CurvyCurly said...

Good article! I can relate to this article in so many ways. In my youth I lived in the moment and didn't really think I had a future worth investing in or protecting; it was all about what made me happy right now. This contributed to so many negatives in my life from choices in men to living outside my means. This was a life filled with regrets.
With age comes wisdom. I've learned so many life lessons and matured. I married a wonderful man whose soul compliments mine and I have a completely different outlook on finances. I live my life in a balance of needs and wants by always contemplating all aspects of a decision and am diligent about having a secure, healthy, and financially sound future. Regret nothing.
Thanks for sharing this article!

CurvyCurly said...

So true Davina916. ALWAYS think before speaking. Try to weigh the pros and cons of difficult or complex decisions as this helps people minimize selfishness or over extending themselves, which should reduce feeling regretful later.

Davina916 said...

I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. You live and you learn!

Megan M. said...

I can relate so much I am constanly thinking about what if I fall for the not so good guy or even marry him. I am still confused about my life I regret so much of the thing I have said to my mother in my youth and other choices I made or almost made. I like this article really opened up my eyes.

Imani Monroe said...

great article I think about this quite often as well as the fact that most of what is right and wrong to us comes from the opinions of our parents and theirs I wonder who 1st understood the right and wrongs weather they be the big ones or the smallest things. I am guilty of sometimes turning my wants into needs but am I at fault for needing to want something out of my life? :)

Derika said...

Wow! I discussed this article with my husband because we talk about our past all the time. How we sometimes wish we did things differently but then we wonder if we had met each other. Life is so unpredictable.

Shashou said...

I'm def working on that regret thing. Especially sometimes seeing the signs of how maybe I should have a different decision and still choosing the not so good one. But I'm learning that I can't change the past. Learn from my choices, make different ones in the future and move on.

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