I am no relationship expert. But what I have found is that—even with each relationship being unique to the individuals involved—there are a few key elements in any relationship that make it a better relationship to be in (for both parties). There are many positive attributes that help couples to remain strong in their commitment to each other, but today I invite you to consider just these three: Be honest. Be willing to compromise. Be willing to walk away.
I have both had and given my share of dishonesty in relationships. Being dishonest is toxic. It can become difficult to remember what lies you told and to whom. It’s a lot of work. Being lied to is hurtful and shameful and embarrassing. You feel haunted no matter which side of the lie you’re on. So why bother?
There is so much to be gained when you can be honest with your partner, and believe they are being honest with you. There’s a freedom that comes with it, as well as a security in knowing that they trust you enough to give you all the information—even if there are times that you may not want to hear the truth.
Be Willing to Compromise
When you’ve been single for awhile, you have certain visions in your head of what your life might be like in the future—where you’ll live, whether or not you’ll have children, what color you’ll paint your bedroom. And then along comes this person whom you love, and who has vastly differing opinions about all of these things, and you find that your version of the way things might be has to be adjusted slightly. And you might just find that you’re kind of okay with it. Obviously, if there are things that you feel REALLY strongly about, you need to be sure that your partner can respect your bottom line. But just being open to the other person’s opinion, and having an honest line of communication can do wonders for coming up with a solution that honors both sides.
Be Willing to Walk Away
Trust your gut. You know when something doesn’t feel right and doesn’t honor you. You know what’s required for you to live your best life. If you feel like you’re not getting those things, it is okay to walk away—even if it is just for a little while to clear your head and decide what you really want. Don’t worry about what people might say: take your well-being into your own hands. Sometimes removing yourself from a situation is the most loving thing you can do—both for yourself, and for the other person.