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By Danielle Faust of okdani.com and longnaturalhair.info
There’s a trend with the emails I’ve been receiving from my blog readers. More women are telling me they’re frustrated with their hair and asking me if they should stay natural or just perm their hair again. I used to assume that they’re asking this because deep down they want to perm, otherwise why would that be an option to them? I would give some generic answer about how it was a personal decision and they should weigh the pros and cons of each before making their choice.
After thinking on it, I realized that for many women the frustration of dealing with their natural hair at times can lead them to thoughts of perming because it’s all they know as the other option. They may simply desire to remove some of the stress of natural hair care, not necessarily return to perming.
I have started to ask this question in response to these types of emails:
What would you do with your hair if perms didn’t exist?
Asking this always elicits creativity. Once you take perming your hair again off of the table, you start to think bigger as it relates to your hair. This is especially important when it comes to transitioners that are fighting the two textures on their head.
If perms didn’t exist would you:
- Big chop earlier than expected?
- Create a more efficient regimen?
- Get a weave or braids so you don’t have to deal with your hair for a while?
- Be more patient with your hair?
- Go to a salon and let someone else handle your hair for you sometimes?
- Experiment with new products or techniques?
- Rethink your hair goals?
- Cut to a more manageable length?
- Get locs instead of wearing hair loose?
- Straighten your hair instead of doing your usual curly styles?
21 Comments:
This is my second go 'round with being natural. The first time, I went for 18 months without a perm. My hair was so dry, all I could do was rock an afro puff. I had no idea how to take care of my hair. So, one day, I went to the salon and told the stylist to perm my hair. I totally regret that day and was kind of angry at the hairstylist dawning beautiful, long locks for not educating me on caring for my hair properly. From there, I colored and fried my hair until there almost was none. It took 3 years and a horrible relationship for me to return to team natural. Just last night, I was sooo frustrated with my super tiny kinks. With the weather change and preganancy, my hair has changed and I was NOT prepared for that! I mentally had to draw back to the days of broken off hair to gather the strength to take the time to detangle and put my hair into a protective style. I keep saying I will get my hair done in the salon, but I refuse to pay those prices (I'm stubborn). To make this long story short... STAY STRONG BLACK SISTAS! It's hard, but you can do it. It takes a LOT of patience and time, but it can be done!
Good article. I've never thought about it in those terms --- the "non-perm" options. I am contemplating a blow out --- some straight hair without the commitment of the perm. :) I am hesitant, but doing a lot of research.
Great article. I love how you are encouraging women to think outside of the box in thems of options for their hair.
There is something in between - texturize. I use just for me texturizer. I leave it on for just 4 minutes and do it in two sessions. First I part my hair from ear to ear. I do the front half of my hair. I put the texturizer on. I do not comb and do not smooth. After my hair dries, I do the back the same way. My 4d hair goes to 4a hair and I take care of it accordingly.
Also, I do twists IN's. I do not take out the twists so it doesn't take hours to do my hair. I wash my hair in braids or sections clipped off.
It is not good for your hair to wear it loose except very rarely. Your hair will catch on your clothing and shred or break.
Yes, you are still using a perm chemical but it is left on the hair for such a short period of time, the hair is still healthy as long as you care for it.
Great way to go about helping new naturals, and people who haven't yet mastered their natural hair... It really is a process.
BCd 3 months ago. Braids were my escape, but I am goign to face my hair and create a regimen that works. Relaxers are not an option
this article really makes me think. there are many days when i think back to how simple my hair regimen was when i was relaxed and my hair was long (unwrap and go) but it wasn't healthy. now i've been transitioning for a year and a half and although its been a journey, its taught me alot about my hair and my opinion of myself. Relaxers are on the bottom of my list of options now. if i need a break from my hair then i just wear my hair in 2 flatwist into a bun for a few days.
This is genius! Thanks.
Great advice! When i don't want to deal with my hair for a while...I put it in kinky twists for about 4 weeks so I can breathe a little. I think frustrations are bound to happen especially as you try to understand your new hair texture and balance moisture, porosity, styling et al.
I vote for non-chemical options!!!
Great question! Love this article!
Love this article.
I am loc'ing my hair this weekend. It will be my second time. I had my hair loc'ed for 6 years. I cut it with hopes of being a loose natural. I loved my loc'ed hair but wanted to try something else. I tried it and now I am going back. I need to stay in my lane. I can totally take care of locs but I am not that great with loose natural or relaxed hair. There is no need to front.
braids...i wore braids most of the time when I was relaxed because i just wanted my hair out of the way...relaxed hair bored the crap out of me ha and I never really missed my hair when it was in braids...it's a different story now that i'm natural but just the same, my hair thrives when it's left alone. It's sort of a win-win situation.
I would just wear my hair braided. I use to wear my hair braided in cornrows and other styles when I was younger. I only had one perm which I really do not remember much about only that I received a free comb that lid in the dark that came with the perm lol!
So lovely smile... :)
To answer the initial question. I would like to think I would just press and curl. As a natural, I do that now. As a child my mom pressed and curled my hair... then there was the Jheri Curl.... then there was the perm. Her complaint was that (as a tomboy) I kept sweating out my hair so bad every day I went to school.
So if there were no Jheri Curl or relaxers, I probably would keep up what mom did and maybe some twisted updo styles every now and then.
This is such an awesome post!!!! Joking with a friend the other day I said "dude!!! you know they ain't got no perms in heaven right..." and we both stopped and thought about that for a sec and laughed. Then she said, what would I do without a perm? Crazy that sometimes people have to think of the end of the world or zombie apocalypse to think about not having the time for a perm.
Great article. This is so true. There are other ways to wear our hair. I get tired of dealing with my fro at times, so I've gotten some braids until I can figure out what I want to do.
Danielle Faust, my post was primarily directed to Pecancurls and Ashley Watkins. A compromise between natural and permed seemed like something they could consider. Heat damages the hair more than a properly done texturizer and texturized hair is easier to manage. But goodness young lady, there is no need for a "site police" post check nor your all caps yelling. Please don't be one of the ones who give naturals a bad name.
With my texturizer, I post on relaxed hair sites and natural hair sites. Both have good tips for me.
I wanted 4a hair and now I have it.
In life, you don't have to correct everything said or read - its not that deep. Don't sweat the small stuff and let your mind be at ease.
Great food for thought. I'd be
juuust fine lol. I have had a couple nightmares about someone perming my hair
and violating me and my coils! It's crazy. I have been VERY frustrated along my
journey at times but I personally would never want to permanently alter my
coils ever ever ever never again. I think we are in fact too quick to go the
easy/lazy route and get rid of out curls. I think some naturals also may put in
way too much time into and emphasis on styling. I like my hair to look nice,
but my mindset is this: My hair is super fine, fluffy as hell, and wild. Point.
Blank. Period. Some days I feel inspired to do twist and curl and slick and bun
and perfect coif and all that. MOST DAYS I don't lol. So, a question to ask
yourself may be, do you accept your hair as it is, without hours of prep,
pudding and styling? I didn't in the past. But now I do, and so that has taken
the pressure off to make my hair do what it doesn't want to do... and
subsequently, I accept and love my hair even when it's acting up and perming
will never be an option for me.
Right now, I'm doing a 12 month
protective style challenge (this is month 10). I prefer wigs (kinky curly) over
weaves so I can wash my hair and DC more often/whenever I want. As I mentioned,
my hair is super fine and was experiencing breakage and just wear and tear from
over styling. My hair has grown SO much and I fall deeper in love with my poof
every day :-) My results have been so awesome I'm thinking about doing another
12 months...
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