May 31, 2013

"Girl, It's Cute!"- On the Couch with Denishia



Denishia Sword writes:

“Girl, it's cute!” - the phrase I just needed to hear. 

I was so self-conscious when contemplating wearing my natural hair out for the first time... which is quite strange because my favorite line when transitioning was, "I can't wait to wear MY curls!"

I transitioned for approximately one year, wearing mostly braids, twists and sew-ins as I grew my relaxer out.  My hairdresser cut a few inches off at a time and about six months in, I cut off the remaining relaxed hair. Even then, I still wasn't comfortable wearing my natural hair. After another sew-in or two, my husband, who was always a fan of my relaxed hair and NOT a proponent of weave, asked me a pointed question in a suggestive tone, "Baby, you grew out your relaxer to enjoy your natural hair.  Why do you keep putting weave in it? It seems that defeats the purpose of ‘going natural’." I gave him “the look” and all the normal excuses to follow- "it's not long enough," "I won't look pretty," blah, blah, blah.

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With his assurance that I would be gorgeous, I did it! I wore my first wash and go- all natural- and loved it...still loving it!  And I was pleasantly surprised at the number of compliments I received. I received the, "it's cute" line I was longing for many times over again.

So, my advice to those hesitant to wear their natural hair is to just try it. See how you like it. Most likely, you will be pleasantly surprised. Of course, if you aren’t comfortable, you can always go back to those infamous "cover" styles but I doubt you will!

What got you over the hump? Did you leave a whole mess of 'cover styles' in your wake?! 



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CN Says:

We're all self-conscious (Yeezy was the first to admit it), especially during those sensitive times when a significant part of our body image is in flux.  It's awfully easy to say that the opinions of others don't matter, but we'd be silly to dismiss the pep a compliment or two puts in our step.  In my opinion Denishia, we've all been there! What helped me was to (1) take less stock in other people’s opinions – that includes snide remarks and the compliments. It was my thoughts and feelings that counted most and to (2) practice positive self-talk and do my best to push the negative, self-defeating, and destructive thoughts from my mind.  These two things, plus seeking education (styling and care tutorials and info) and the support of the online community, helped me to embrace what I now couldn't imagine being without! 

As for the cover styles, I didn't have one, but I did have a crutch- my headband. For the first 6 months of my natural hair journey, any time I ventured out of the house, I was sporting a headband, without it, I felt unkempt, un-pretty and well... naked.  It was like my security blanket.  Seeing as how they gave me terrible tension headaches the freedom I experienced when I built up the confidence to step out without it, can't even be put into words.  

Share your stories below! 

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