I shouldn’t have cut my hair.
Yeah. I said it.
I don’t exactly miss my longer hair in itself…but now I’ve got all these Short Hair Problems that I never knew would come my way. My haircut is ruining my life.
Short hair isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yeah the fade was cute for a minute, and yeah the color was a nice little change… but this short natural haircut is ruining my life and here’s why:
1. I’m not an exotical sex symbol anymore!
It’s a dark time in my life. I walk down the street and I don’t get accosted with “yo mami” or “Trini! Trini!”… I get no lip lickin’, no grunts of appreciation. Nobody thinks I’m some mysterious “other” race. Now I’m just boring ol’ African American. Yawn. And what’s worse…I get “Excuse me miss.” “A moment of your time, sis.” And once when I was with my son I got a ma’am. If a man tips his hat to me and says “g’day” in lieu of sneaking a peek at my rear and biting his lip, I may just slit my wrists.
2. I have to actually maintain this damn cut!
I’m used to letting my hair just be. Wild and free. It grew out at whatever pace it wanted to. I didn’t bother it, it didn’t bother me. Now, I blink and my hairline is black while the rest of my hair is light brown. I blink again and a fade is now an afro. I cut this hair to make less work for myself, not more. Now I’ve gotta go….to a salon….and get….shape ups….every…month!? No no…this is not going to work for me. Too much maintenance! What does this haircut think I am?! Responsible?
3. I can’t feed my PJism!
I’m a proud PJ. (Product Junkie) But now, I’ve got two cabinets chock full of products, and no hair to use them on. It will take me a lifetime to finish these items up. With my hair short, I cannot justify purchasing all the new products I see advertised. I’ve been using the same conditioner since the day I got my hair cut, over a month ago now, and the bottle is practically still full! I can’t go on like this. My husband LOVES this one, mind you. He did a fist pump when I mentioned not being able to buy more hair products. A FIST PUMP! wtf?
Speaking of my husband….
4. Storming away is boring and useless!
I can no longer end fights. How the hell am I supposed to make a dramatic exit from an argument if I’ve got no hair to whip around in his face as I turn to storm away? I can’t! There’s no flair! If I’m going to maintain my status as the drama queen in this marriage I’ll need to make deliciously diva-like exits. Especially at that point in the argument when I realize I’m actually wrong. I need that dramatic storm-away! What am I supposed to do with this short hair cut? Say things like “ok baby, let’s agree to disagree” and turn to calmly walk away?! No…that just won’t do at all.
So there you have it. My short natural hair cut is ruining my life. I’m now a respectable looking African American woman who’s responsible, frugal, and reasonable in arguments.
Thanks a lot, hair cut!
::sigh:: I need a weave.
**I’m just playin. I am loving this short cut!**