There’s no miracle in a jar that will magically make your hair grow overnight or make all your dreams come true. Whether we're talking about hair or life, when we want to make something happen, we have to experience it internally before it can manifest externally. No one ever told me this. I had to learn on my own and it took me a long time. I'm 36 and I just figured this out like five minutes ago. If you don’t believe in a dream enough to cry and sweat and bleed for it then what makes you think you will appreciate it when it comes true?
I spoke to a friend the other day who was telling me about a new hair product that promises to speed up hair growth. She's always looking for potions and spells to make her hair grow, but she puts heat in it every day, doesn't deep condition it or wrap it up at night. Essentially, she doesn't want to do the work. There’s a disconnect here. Everything has a price. It’s up to each of us to determine if what we think we want is worth that price.
This is hitting home for me at the moment because I love to write and create, but the business side of being an entrepreneur is painful for me. It's really forcing me to stretch myself and rise to the occasion.
How many times have you given up an endeavor because it seemed too complicated? Not only have I given up, but sadly I can recall many times where I have not even started. We don't want to expose what we don't know, right? We don't want to make costly mistakes. We don't want step out of our comfort zones into the unfamiliar. We are afraid of the risks, so we psyche ourselves out of the rewards.
Are you dreaming about accomplishing things that you’re not willing to be uncomfortable for? To work and grind and get messy for? Many of us think that looking for our own special miracle in a jar is the same thing as doing the work. Sure, it’s lovely when opportunities fall right into your lap, but without the right attitude and a high level of dedication, the good fortune will not be sustainable.
There is some magic involved with getting what you want and it’s unique to every individual. It has to do with aligning yourself with goals that you are truly passionate about and having the desire to experience the whole process - not just the result.
The following things have helped me learn the difference between wanting something and actually having the mindset to make it happen.
Believe in yourself and your highest potential. The first thing you must do is believe in yourself. For many of us, this is the hardest part. Strategically replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Focus on what you want to happen. Recently, I've realized how much I sell myself short by shrinking and apologizing for what I do. I always play myself down. The other day, I even told someone that they probably wouldn't like my book. You can smack me now. Why would I say such a thing? I told the person that my book is for quiet, introspective women and since she's not like that, she probably wouldn't be able to relate.
Do you ever do or say things and wonder what the hell is wrong with you and what were you thinking? If I don't believe in my work, then why would anyone else believe in it?
Appreciate what you already have in order to receive more. It always seems that the things we want the most take the longest to achieve. By the time we reach our destination, dammit if we don’t want something else already. This restlessness can keep us from enjoying everything that happens along the way. Don’t overlook the things that you already have going for you. Gratitude must be the foundation of every endeavor.
I didn't know what to expect when my book went up for sale. I don't think I really celebrated at all. I just immediately felt self-conscious and began comparing myself to other writers. I was plagued with self-doubt, thinking that no one would get it. I forgot to be grateful. I've wanted to write a book for years, I finally did it, and I forgot to be still and give thanks.
Be accountable to yourself. If you find yourself making excuses as to why you can’t do what needs to be done, question yourself. Do you really want it? Why do you want it? What core desire are you trying to satisfy? When you’re being pulled in many different directions, it’s tough to make choices and quick fixes are hard to resist. Remind yourself what your priorities are and keep reminding yourself when you’re tempted to take shortcuts or follow the pack.
I constantly have to adjust my brain and get back to myself. There are so many distractions and I always feel rushed as if time is running out. I don't want to get left behind. Getting caught up this way can hinder your best work.
Believe that what you learn is more important than the outcome. Life is a constant process of growth. We should naturally expect to face obstacles when we’re trying to make something happen. With that in mind, dedicate yourself to your process and keep moving forward no matter what happens. By the time you get to the win, you will be that much wiser and the accomplishment will just be the icing on the cake.
I thought I would be mostly concerned with reviews and sales, but it turns out that what drives me the most is reaching more people. It's about the message, not me. I'm building a new career. A heart-based, soulful career that I want to be lucrative spiritually and financially. Any obstacle I must face is worth it to me and my conviction is strong enough to get me through.
If you have a dream, challenge yourself to do the dirty work and earn what comes to you. Don’t worry about how long it takes or how many mistakes you make along the way. The hardest part is pushing past your limiting beliefs and doing things you never thought you could do. Don't be afraid of the big picture, just keep going and be enriched by the entirety of the process. When you start to lose focus, remember what it's all for. Take a deep breath and keep going. xo