"We have been raised to fear the 'yes' within ourselves, our deepest cravings."
- Audre Lorde
What are you passionate about? What moves you to tears or to cry out or to dance?
What makes you lose your cool? If you're not willing to go there, how will you know what really matters to you?
How will you find your brilliance?
There comes a time when you just have to stop trying to be cool.
There’s a shift. Fitting in doesn’t matter so much. Who you are to yourself becomes more important than who you are to other people. You find out that chasing approval is endlessly unsatisfying. Trying to be perfect is exhausting and vulnerability is refreshing.
When this shift occurs, you begin to care more about feeding your spirit than feeding your ego.
The ego wants to be validated. It feeds off of attention and competition. It is defensive and critical of others. The ego can never be enough, do enough or have enough. The goals of the ego are status, bragging rights and rewards.
You might be thinking that you’re not an egotistical person. You don’t walk around loud and raucous, begging for attention. Okay, but perhaps you feed your ego by playing the victim. Allowing people to tell you what you should do and how you should feel, then blaming them when you’re not happy. Feeling ignored, misunderstood and mistreated, and using those excuses to explain why things never work out for you. Giving your power away.
Here’s the shift.
The spirit is validated by itself. It does not seek to find fault or compete. It knows that love begets love begets more love. The spirit seeks to expand its awareness. When you begin to live from this place, life becomes more purposeful. You begin to create your own good feelings. Not the temporary kind of good like a fleeting compliment or a paycheck, but the kind of good that warms you up and stirs your soul. This is how your spirit speaks to you.
Before you can truly commit to finding purpose and discovering yourself, you have to be willing to get naked. To be transparent about where you are in your life and what’s important to you. If you don’t know what’s important to you yet, then be transparent about the fact that you’re figuring it out.
Be prepared to feel different than other people.
Most people walk around this world living completely from the guidance of their egos. Trying to look the part and wondering why they feel empty. Fighting unnecessary battles, telling lies to save face, feeling threatened and out of place. Shifting to spirit means believing in the concepts of faith, compassion, gratitude and forgiveness and allowing those intentions to guide your actions. It means behaving differently and reacting differently, at times drawing attention to yourself for the sake of what you believe in.
To some of you, that will sound scary. Drawing attention? Setting yourself apart? Yes. It’s absolutely necessary to show up in the world as your undiluted self so you can attract people and opportunities that inspire you.
Many of us struggle to find purpose because we are not willing to be this vulnerable. To get the ego-based thoughts out of the way and get closer to the realness. The precious. To what feels so good that it’s embarrassing to admit. But this is the place you have to go.
This is where purpose lives.