You might be afraid to aim too high.
You might be afraid to entertain too much happiness because you fear that it could be taken away. Disappointments. Wasted time. Maybe you just want to stay passive, in the middle, avoiding extremes. You feel safer that way.
But is it really safe? Or more like...stuck? Be honest about what you feel.
Until you find a strong, solid reason and that reason becomes the driving force behind your choices, it's likely that you'll stay in this passive, middle-of-the-road place. Not struggling to survive but certainly not thriving either.
I was not used to working hard to accomplish things. I was someone who put forth about a 70% effort and still did well enough to get by. I relied on charm to give me a tailwind when I was in trouble. I skated through life, never expecting too much of myself.
All that changed when I quit my job. Finding my passion and becoming an entrepreneur forced me to go deep and put forth a sincere, wholehearted effort for the first time in my life. I made a promise to myself that I would never quit. I don't have a choice, really, because my heart won't let me quit.
If I can do it so can you. I'm not telling you to quit your job. But if you decide to finally tell your husband or partner that you are unhappy, that's a win. If you decide to have a difficult conversation with a friend or family member or reveal something about yourself that isn't pretty, that's a huge step in the right direction. If you decide to say 'No' or 'I don't wanna' or let go of an obligation that brings you down, then cheers to you.
Find those personal truths that compel you to keep your promises to yourself.
We tend to let things slide when we are uncertain, and then before we know it, we look around and see that we've let our whole lives just slide on by in default mode.
If you're a dreamer, live those dreams. If you don't feel inspired, go seek it out. Create something with your ideas and your enthusiasm. Everything starts with self-awareness. In order to keep your promises to yourself, you need to know what kinds of promises to make. You need to be tuned into your magical places. When you're living a passive life, denying your true feelings, these magical places are difficult if not impossible to reach.
Start with this. What feels so good that it's embarrassing to admit? From there, I urge you to come up with three or more personal truths that guide your behavior and align you with your spirit.
*I won't spend time with people who start drama and who are constantly negative. (By defining this for yourself, you won't question yourself or feel guilty when you separate yourself.)
*I won't apologize for being sensitive. (By affirming this, you are acknowledging that there is nothing wrong with you and you are giving yourself permission to be confident even in the face of criticism.)
*I strengthen myself when I tell the truth, I weaken myself when I lie. (When you connect your actions directly to your progress and physically picture yourself taking steps backwards, it's easier to make the difficult but better choice.)
Make a habit of repeating your personal truths over and over and over. When life challenges you, these affirmations remind you of who you are.
This is a great exercise to build your confidence and help you find your reasons. Your reasons for taking risks. For getting naked. For going left when everyone else is going right and looking at you like you're crazy. For believing in yourself enough to trust your good feelings.