Is 'Black Love' The #RelationshipGoals We've Been Waiting For?


        
By Mwabi Kaira

Are you watching 'Black Love' on OWN?  Oprah Winfrey has taken her Master Class series and turned the lens on couples for a master class on love. Husband and wife filmmakers Codie and Tommy Oliver interviewed famous and everyday married couples about how they fell in love and have stayed in love and their stories are told in the most honest and emotional way.

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With the hashtag relationship goals bombarding us daily on social media, giving us little more than cute pictures and even cuter captions to aspire to, 'Black Love' gives us the behind-the-scenes on #RelationshipGoals and leaves no stone unturned.  This series covers love from the amazing times, financial crisis, incarceration, and the loss of a child. So if you are not already watching 'Black Love' here are 5 gems dropped in the series that could give your marriage longevity.

Your Life Gets Better with the Right Partner
Oscar winner Viola Davis didn’t call her husband Julius for a month after getting his number.  She had a lot going on including bad credit and wanted to work on herself before she started a relationship.  After some convincing from her friends, she called him and her life changed.  Viola recalls, “After my first date with Julius my life got better in every way; anxiety went away, fear went away, he just made my life better.”
Devon Franklin feels the same way about marrying Megan Good.  Devon says, “As a single man I was good but as a married man, I’m great.  Get the right woman and you can conquer the world.”

Differences are meant to Teach You
There is nothing more frustrating than living with someone and finding out that they’re messy and you’re clean, that they leave 3 sips of orange juice in the container in the fridge instead of finishing it up, and my personal favorite, that they leave trash on the counter NEXT to the trash can!
Tia Mowry was raised in a military family and knows structure very well. Her husband Cory Hardrict was not. They decided to learn from each other instead of getting frustrated.  Corey reflects, “I have learned structure and how to pay bills on time from Tia and I have taught Tia how to dream, have no fear and take risks in life.” 

Fix the relationship and not the person.  Fix Yourself and then Come Together

Danielle and Hasan fell in love and enjoyed their courtship. Danielle grew up with brothers and felt like a Princess in her home. After their marriage, Danielle began to feel criticized and became jaded and cold.  The couple was disconnected.  Danielle felt like Hasan was trying to fix HER and not the relationship.  Hasan notes, “When we began to look internally all of a sudden there was an emotional connection, sex was more frequent and pleasurable and we bonded.” 

Allow Yourselves to Step Back from a Challenge

Sean Patrick Thomas and Aonika Laurent had a whirlwind romance and an amazing marriage until their hardest tribulation came.  Aonika knew Sean wanted to be a Father and they were excited when they first got pregnant.  She describes them being so ecstatic and literally skipping to the ultrasound.  There they heard the worst news; they lost the baby.  They had multiple miscarriages and each time Aonika felt like she was letting Sean down and even considered divorcing him.  The thought never crossed his mind. 
It wasn’t until they decided to stop trying and step away completely from IVF treatment  just so they could concentrate on what was going right in their lives that they got pregnant again immediately.  They are now parents to a daughter and a son.

Be Willing to Accept Love in a Different Package Other Than the One You Imagined

Ashley always imagined that her Prince Charming would have chocolate skin and dreadlocks down his back.  She imagined them reciting hip hop rhymes and being the real life Brown Sugar couple.  She met Chea from Cambodia and kept him in the friend zone.  The more time they spent together made Ashley realize something very crucial as she explains on Black Love, “I stopped paying attention to what he was. I couldn’t pass him up just because he wasn’t packaged how I wanted.”  The couple has been married since 2015 and has 2 children.

Are you watching 'Black Love?' What do you think?
 
Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world.  She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993.  Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy.  She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon.  Keep up with her at http://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com/
Cover photo: TheDefenderNetwork.com



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