5 Reasons You Should STOP Searching For Your Soul Mate


By Cia Edwards

And they lived happily ever after…

Or maybe they didn’t. As soon as our hormones kick in, we tend to gravitate to the notion that we have to find our “soul mate.” Or even the idea that there is someone out there who matches our personality and characteristics perfectly, which make them our perfect match.

However, how many of us who are in exclusive relationships can really say we’ve met our soulmate? And for the percentage of us who think we have met our “soul mates,” how many of us can say that they are 100% perfect in every aspect of their being?

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Coming from a biblical standpoint, there is nowhere in the Bible that states that God has made us a soul mate that we must be with. Before you stick a pitchfork in my mouth, and start shouting Adam and Eve, let’s go back and dissect that story briefly.

God created Eve because He stated that, man should not live alone. NOT that man has to have a perfect match! However there are multiple places in the Bible that states that God’s love is sufficient for us.

Song of Solomon 3:4 - “I have found the one whom my soul loves.” <- - - - - (not soul mate!)

Granted, there are many scriptures that do highlight the concept of our souls loving another but it doesn’t always have a romantic connotation to the meaning.

So do “Soul Mates” exist in the Bible? No, you’re welcome.

Now that we have the biblical piece set aside let’s go into the reasons as to why you should probably stop searching for your “happy ever after” to marry.


1. Searching for your soul mate can possibly inhibit you from truly understanding to love yourself first. 

Though we may try to be the best versions of ourselves, if we are focused on something else we cannot possibly be giving ourselves 100%. Try to remember a time where you have lost your phone, you’ve done the very best while being thorough and retracing your steps to find where it was last seen. You’re giving it your all to find that iPhone you cherish so much, then you give up and figure that you’ll never find it. What happens to your emotions? You get really upset, you may start to wallow and temporarily you may even be disappointed in yourself because you tried your best to find your beloved. Now let’s apply this to your search for your soul mate. You go on a couple dates, reassuring yourself that he or she is the “one.” Then when they reveal to you that they still live at home with their parents and aren’t really sure of what they want to do with their career, you start to fall perhaps into a minor sad state where your hopes were so high to match your already established career. This is the very reason why when you’re on your search for your soul mate it can really be draining and deplete the energy needed to be the best you!

2. You may have a person that matches you perfectly, but they may be permanently friend zoned.

You ask a person to describe their soul mate their responses typically go something like this, “He connects with me on all levels, he’s my perfect match.” Or “She is like the missing half of me, it’s like she looks into my soul.” Well my friends, what you have described may be a disaster because those qualities don’t indicate any source of individuality. If you describe your soul mate as your “twin” or other half you could also be describing a friend. Most of our friendships exists because they immediately connect with us and sometimes act as our twins. So please be aware that your perfect match doesn’t always have to be your next Husband or Wife! Sometimes the people who we feel the most connected to is there just to serve a specific purpose, not to give you your next 24 karat ring! #FACTS




3. Life is not meant to be a fairy tale where as soon as a problem arises it’s fixed and the end stays happy forever.

If you truly believe finding a soul mate will make your life the next fairy tale, please pinch yourself…twice. When was the last time you had a fight with your best friend? Did you not end up in an argument probably a few months down the line? If you truly believe finding the perfect guy will solve the repetitive pattern you’ve had with relationship qualms, you’re wrong. Fairy tales are meant to be just that, Fairy-Enchanted Tale-Myth.

Arguments will come, and so will solutions! There is no Prince Charming or Princess Tiana in the world that will substitute the lessons learned from trials.

4. With 7.5 billion people in the world how will you connect with them all on your tedious “search.”


Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat does in fact help us connect with different people from all walks of the earth but there is no way we can possibly connect with them all! Some may say, “God will most likely put my soul mate in my vicinity.” Well, I may say something like, “So you’re gonna go out with every female in Brooklyn?” Most likely the answer is no. There are way too many people out there who are similar to us, that may even be our counterpart doppelganger. This does not change the fact that the entire nation is populated with over 7 billion potential “soul mates” that you would have to sift through to “find” yours. So stop looking, because if someone is meant for you, trust me, you won’t have to search.

5. You may pass on great opportunities with connections if you’re too fixated on your soul mate.


It’s simple. If you’re too focused on not dating that girl because she doesn’t have the same ethnic background as you, or that guy because he’s a janitor and not a lawyer, then you are limiting yourself! These people you may pass by, could be your next ticket to a billion dollar idea, but it won’t be your billion dollar idea because you refused to date or even network with them. Don’t ever be too fixated on finding your “soul mate.” They don’t really exist.


So do you still believe soul mates exist? Let’s chat. Leave me a comment below.
My name is Felicia, but almost everyone refers to me as Cia E. I love all things hair and can be considered a hairaholic. I dabble in hair styling and makeup unprofessionally from time to time. I'm a full time therapist and a full time enthusiast. I hope you enjoy the information I provide as you travel along this journey I call LIFE! Follow my blog at Nearly Hair.

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