Green light: Would You Let Your Partner Record Your Intimate Moments?

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Teyana Taylor & Iman Shumpert
By Brenda Alexander 

Another day, another “leaked” sex tape.
Clips are “leaked” weekly, spread across social media, black twitter rates the performance, Lisa Bloom is hired as legal counsel and conversations of revenge porn are had across the country. I’m so over this cycle. I’m anticipating a new hashtag and for the annual Slut Walk to kick off a little earlier this year with self-proclaimed feminists in an uproar using their first amendment rights shouting to the mountaintops about how women can do whatever they choose to with whom they choose with their bodies; even as far as having their sexual escapades recorded with (or sometimes without) their permission. And guess what, that’s true. Women can grab their sexuality by their clits and own it. However, there are two things you are not in control of my loves: technology and other people. So why are women still making sex tapes?

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In conversations with friends, it was interesting to find out from their perspectives whether or not making a tape in today’s society is logical. With my friends being in different phases of relationships, answers varied, but the common theme seems to be that if a tape was made, they’d guard it like a Red Nose Pit.

One of my married friends is not opposed to making a tape with her husband.
“I’ve never made one but I don’t see anything wrong with it. My husband would guard it with his life so I don’t fear it getting out.” 
More specifically, a married couple doing something like this may have a less potential disastrous outcome. I would think that when you are married, a husband would indeed take a certain level of protection versus a boyfriend and girlfriend situation. Not that being unmarried should change the outcome, but many married couples find an act like that to be more sacred, even in lieu of a divorce because more is at stake.

Another friend who hasn’t recorded his private moments with his partner is not opposed but is more hesitant to do so because of the possibility that a partner could (unfortunately) use it as bait.
“We are too in the moment and enjoying one another to stop and bring a camera in and it’s never been a thought to do so. I would only make one to critique ourselves and delete it immediately. But I am also leery because people can be spiteful so whether we recorded one or not, I would have to be in control.”
The debate about whether or not to make a sex tape can get heated because as stated, what you do with your partner is your business. But, my scary ass is always cognizant of the fact that in 2018, one wrong click or pressing a person’s buttons can lead to your goodies spread all across the net. A close friend of mine has the same sentiments stating:
“I have never made a tape but I have sent nudes (without my face) to a partner. I never worried about them becoming public until a bad breakup. My ex loved to hit below the belt in arguments when we were together and was sheisty after we broke up so that was a major fear, even though I deleted all photos and he promised he’d done the same. My fear was heightened after my cousin’s ex emailed her nude photos to her parents when they broke up. After experiencing all of that, I highly doubt I would make a tape with anyone. The less that’s out there, the better.”
I personally don’t care what people decide to do in the privacy of their homes or beds. Some feel it adds spice, others for fun. Regardless, the most important thing is to take extreme cautionary measures if you decide to star in your own video. So ladies, if you've done it in the past, be grateful it hasn't gotten out. If you’ve experienced a leak or you’re naturally panicked to do a video because you’re scared it will somehow be the next big IG search, the next time you or your partner decide to press record, maybe you should PAUSE.

Would you let your partner video tape your intimate moments?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com

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