True Story: I Was Stalked & Harassed by a Man After Three Dates: Part 2


By Tiffy Kink

Part 1 of this story

When my sister and I got home, my mother immediately sensed that something was very wrong. She could see it in our faces. Who would tell it first, my sister or me? As I was about to say it, my sister said it first, I further explained. The look of slight fear came across my mother’s face. Then anger. Not for me, but for the person who dare to put her and her child’s life in danger. We agreed on a course of action that included going to the police station to file a police report.

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Two days later, I was assigned a detective for my case. In that time, he sent me two links to two porn websites with my information (my name, my phone number, where I go to school) plastered all over them for the world to see. The picture of my breast were on both of them and both profiles got so many hits and views within such a short time. My phone was ringing off the hook with a combination of messages from him, and computer-generated messages that I believe were from him that messed with my phone so much that it permanently slowed down from not being able to take in the 200+ messages being sent within the span of two hours daily. That went on for a week. I wanted to change my phone number, but I knew I needed it for evidence.

In that time, I avoided all technology, even staying away from TV. I lost my interest in being on the computer and resorted to sleeping pills just to get a good 4 hours of sleep. I stopped eating and somehow developed diarrhea. I was constantly exhausted and scared of my own shadow. I avoided going to school as people I didn’t know wanted to find me so they could have sex with me because apparently “BrooklynBBW” wanted to act out a rape fantasy and was okay with people coming up to her and forcing themselves on to her. To make matters worse, a student who went to the same school as me at the time was looking out for me so we could “do it.” That wasn’t me. That wasn’t who I was. I had never told him I liked the idea of rape or forced sex.

During the investigation, I had to practically convince everyone, even my own family at times, that I never slept with him. I know it’s hard to believe, but I was still a virgin and we were nowhere near the idea of having sex. I made that clear to him. My case almost got dropped because he claimed someone else was using his phone. I was able to reason with the deceive noting that the nature of the messages had intimate details that wouldn’t make sense for someone other than him to know. The detective took his time with the case because he believed me and didn’t want him to get away with it. Then his threats started to get more aggressive again.

In a weeks’ time, I was dealing with threats and messages from him and random people. Men sending me pictures of their genitals and telling me all the nasty things they wanted to do to me, men calling my phone to tell me how hot they thought I was. After telling some of them that it wasn’t me, they apologized and told me they would report the profiles. There were so many of them trying to contact me, it required too much energy to keep repeating myself. I had to email the porn sites and explain to them that I did not create the profiles and needed them to be removed, almost having to sue one in the process.

I was still receiving threats from him the day he was arrested. A few days prior, I was instructed to stop responding to any of his or anyone’s text messages who I didn’t recognize. I had already stopped doing that anyway and I’m guessing the lack of reaction was starting to get to him. As the messages kept pouring in, I called the police station to let the detective know that he was still contacting me. He called me back right away and let me know that they were going to get him.

The next phone call I got was the detective telling me that they got him and for me to come down to the precinct to identify him. Luckily, I was spared the grief of having to see him face-to-face, as the detective took a picture of him with his cellphone and I identified him there.

I never got my day in court with him, as he took a plea deal and wasn’t given any additional jail time because it was apparently his first offense, though something in me felt as though this wasn’t his first time. This was just the first time he didn’t get away with it. I was given a restraining order against him and my world slowly started to adjust to a new normal.

I had never been put in a situation like this before. Having to fight for my innocence. Having to prove to people that sex was not the reason this person turned on me. “Look out for the signs," I kept hearing many people say to me as I had to tell and retell my story over and over again. That part really messed with me because I know I’m good at reading people. So when I tell you that guy flipped out on me for no good reason, I know what I’m talking about. How can you watch out for signs when there were none to begin with?

As for the picture I sent, do I feel like I still shouldn’t have sent it? No. That picture was sent as an even exchange between two adults with a mutual understanding that it was not to be sent or shared with anyone else. How would you feel if someone took an unflattering picture of you at an event and after giving you their word that they would not post the picture to social media, they do it anyway? You would probably be upset because that person violated your trust, right? Women shouldn’t be slut-shamed for naked pictures they send and exchange with others.

I’m writing this story, reliving my nightmare because women encounter things like this all the time and the one question that keeps getting asked is, “What did you do?” I am also annoyed with this idea that people on the internet are crazy. Would you want someone to think that of you because they met you on Facebook or Instagram? I’m not defending him, but I’m trying to make a point. People are people and sometimes they don’t present who they really are or their bad qualities right away. We usually don’t ask people unflattering questions (I do that way more now) and we ourselves try our best to hide our bad qualities as well.

Have you ever been harassed or stalked by someone? 
About Tiffy
Tiffy kink is a New York based Sex Blogger whose goal is to spread sex positivity and break down barriers for the sexually deprived and repressed through her blog posts and sex toy reviews where she not only talks about her interactions with sex and masturbation, but she also introduces her readers to body-safe sex toys and advice.If you like what you’ve read and would like to see more, visit her blog Aquakink.comFollow her on Twitter @Theaquakink

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