Queen Sugar Got Us Asking If It's OK for Sisters to Dip from the Same Dating Pool?

Nova & Charley of Queen Sugar
By Mwabi Kaira

My parents gave me two sisters, one older and one younger. My oldest sister was three years older than me and my little sister is 18 months younger than me. As teens we pulled from the same dating pool in our small town. They say girls mature faster than boys and it was evident when we exchanged stories in our bedroom about our day and found out that the same boy would try and hit on all three of us. We had many laughs over it. We knew that if one of us liked someone they were immediately off limits. Boys don’t get this memo right away and are just happy to ask everyone for their number until they learn to become selective. Some boys grow into men and still don’t learn that lesson and everyone is fair game; mother, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, everyone.

Which brings me to Queen Sugar.

Charley & Remy 
When Queen Sugar returned for Season 3 in late May I was excited. The Bordelon clan has become my Louisiana family and Blue has my entire heart. I was ready to get some very important answers about Blue’s paternity and figured much of the storyline would be that. I was not prepared to see Nova and Remy, her sister Charley’s ex, make eyes at each other. As soon as I saw it, I took to my Facebook and posted about this being a terrible idea. Some friends chimed in and said I was overreacting, some agreed with me and one said that you couldn’t help who you fell in love with. I rolled my eyes and wanted to comment back YES YOU CAN WHEN IT’S YOUR SISTER’S MAN but I didn’t and decided to see how the story played out.

Nova & Remy
Besides the obvious of not double dipping in one family, the Nova and Remy storyline gave me pause because we were introduced to Nova as the woke, natural, holistic, herbalist, journalist activist sista who puts fighting for the people and loving her family above all else. She doesn’t crumble and is the pillar for everyone around her. Yes, she was a mistress in Season 1 and many men and women have tried, but none have got her to settle for relationships that didn’t allow her to be herself fully. Charley was the wife and woman behind a NBA player before his infidelities broke their marriage down. Charley too, is a strong Bordelon woman whose business sense elevated her husband’s career beyond just being a face in the NBA. Remy is introduced to us as a friend of Ernest Bordelon, the family patriarch who worked with him on the family farm before his untimely death.

Charley & Remy
Remy takes a liking to Charley and they eventually date after Charley’s divorce. Remy is at family functions and is an integral part of Charley starting a historical business in Louisiana. This is why this storyline has us all scratching our heads and yelling the TV. Charley moved back home, Nova was there all along. As much as a family person Nova is, she and Remy must have crossed paths when he was working with her father. Why is Nova suddenly so appealing now that Remy and Charley have broken up? What Nova should have done at that first lingering glance from Remy was shut it down on sight. He’s off limits. Remy should have never even fixed his eyes to glance at Nova at all and I blame him for picking the wrong sister in the first place. Nova and Remy are better suited and have the same values but that was his bad for not shooting his shot before Charley got back in town.
Nova & Remy 
Nova does put up a fight because she knows she’s wrong but good ole Remy keeps pushing. 

Sisters Nova and Charley

What really gets me is the jeopardizing of a sisterhood that has just been mended. Season 1 was full of tension between Charley and Nova and they’ve finally reached the sweet sister spot. It is simply not worth it to tip the scales again. Nova could barely confess the kiss she shared with Remy to Charley because she knows she is wrong. We will see how this plays out but like my sisters and I knew back when we were teens, there are just too many men on the planet to date the same one. A man should not date his ex’s sister if they were in a relationship the family knew about. Same goes for a woman not dating brothers. Before y’all come for me, I’m not talking about a date where you’re still in the texting phase and meet up at Starbucks one good time. I’m talking about something that lasts longer than a few months. And since we are discussing who shouldn’t date, let’s add your friend’s exes too. Some men are just off limits. Leave them alone and go find the next one.

Do you think it's okay for sisters to double dip when dating?
Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world.  She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993.  Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy.  She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon.  Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com

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