Source: Marcus Ingram / Getty

by Veronica Wells via MadameNoire.com

Earlier this week, we wrote about the comments Pastor John Gray made regarding his 8-year marriage to Aventer Gray and how his wife endured more pain raising him as a man than she did birthing their two children. He spoke about how Aventer was a coat that was two sizes too big for him. He said that to mean that not only was she a covering for him in their relationship, but he had to grow into her.

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He said that because of what she’s done in helping him pursue his dream, he will always honor her.

I took issue with his comments because he wasn’t clear about what he’d done in the marriage to cover her. And his words read like every stereotypical sermon we’d heard about what Christian women should do in marriages without any responsibility or accountability being placed on Christian men in the context of marriage. His comments focused on and celebrated yet another Black woman had been long-suffering for the benefit of her man.

We weren’t the only ones who felt a way. While the hosts of “Sister Circle” clapped and shouted about Gray’s testimony, people on Twitter shared our concerns.

After all of it, Aventer posted the clip on Instagram, clarifying what her husband meant and sharing her two cents about what marriages require. See what she had to say below.


Wow! @realjohngray! This is beautiful! I’ve seen this floating and had opportunity to see some dialogue. I love dialogue...here is my response...A RIB (wife)...covers vital organs of the body. It’s functionality is for Protection, Support, and Respiration. So, I can see things he can not. God gave us wives heightened discernment to Protect from some of the oblivion that our husbands face. We Support in the best ways...we stand, we build, we give legs to vision, and it isn’t always happily ever after, in fact it’s “Jesus be with me” while this purpose is being birthed...YES BIRTH OF PURPOSE not actual birthing of a man. His mother did that part, but as wives, there are things that life can be given to in ways he may not have been able to produce alone, bringing me to my next function of a rib, the Respiration, meaning the act of breathing. Sometimes, it takes a wife to give the breath to make the vision alive, and it’s taking place simultaneously with the growing, development, and healing of broken places that had nothing to do with us!!! Some pain we walk into based on the upbringing of our husbands or experiences that limited or crippled his process that had nothing to do with us! Pain is a part of the process, not continuous pain, but pain that actually produces fruit and gets us all to Destiny! Don’t tell me one thing about a woman isn’t supposed to cover. One of my degrees is Cardiopulmonary Science and I’m a pastor. I may have a few correlations to share! 🤷🏽‍♀️ (Not a boast, just a truth) Have a blessed and productive Wednesday!~Aventer Monique Cotton Gray #Aveygram #WivesCover #KnowYourRoleifYouWantIt #RibsCoverVitalOrgans #Repost @niecynash1 with @get_repost ・・・ Come on!!! @realjohngray Teach the people 🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
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Later, she shared an additional revelation about the devil seeking to attack the institution and sacredness of marriage.

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