Is the Man You're Dating Financially Responsible to Your Kids?

Ciara, Russell Wilson and Ciara's Son
By Brenda Alexander

Coming into a relationship with children can add layers of difficulties. A mother and child are a packaged deal, so when you date her, you essentially date her kid(s) also. The reality is, there are risks associated with dating a woman with children. And, if you decide to go steady, those risks turn into obligations. There is an expectation that once a man becomes seriously involved that he should take an active role in her children’s lives both emotionally and even financially. But how much should a man contribute financially to his girlfriend’s children? That’s the question and debate that was sparked after this social media post.

Continue

Sorry Ladies, Liking IG Photos is not Shooting Your Shot. This Is.


By Veronica Wells 

Earlier this week, I saw a meme on The Shade Room that didn’t initially strike me as anything special. Usually, I like to go into the comments and check the pulse of the culture to see what people have to say about a certain topic. But with this, I just kept scrolling. Nothing to see there. It wasn’t until I saw my friend like it and then I saw it again on an associate’s page, that I decided to read it again to see if I missed some type of profound truth. Women were actually saying that they consider liking several Instagram pictures in succession to be a form of shooting their shot. 

Chile.

The Problem with Career Envy


By Kaila Kea

For many women of color, working hard is nothing new. Balancing love, life, and career is natural to you. In fact, you don’t know how to walk away from a challenge without giving it your all. Although this sense of determination can serve us well, it can also drive us toward career envy.

Continue

Is it Time for Ray J's Mom to Butt Out of His Business?

Ray J & mom Sonja Norwood
By Mwabi Kaira 

I’ve noticed a trend when it comes to “our” reality shows; mothers of grown black men stay in their business. First there was Mama Jones on Love and Hip Hop New York, who stayed in Jim Jones and Chrissy’s relationship in the first season back in 2011. She didn’t like not being her son’s number one priority after Chrissy came along, and it doesn’t seem that things have gotten any better since the three of them went on to appear on Marriage Boot Camp. Then there’s Scrappy’s Mama, Momma Dee, on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, who proudly proclaims to be the Queen of Scrappy’s castle in the Atlanta franchise and doesn’t want anyone knocking her off her throne. Not to be outdone, we now have Sonja Norwood, mom to Ray J, and her sidekick Brandy on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, all up in his business.

Continue

Remember When We Thought the Worst that Could Happen in a Relationship Was Cheating?


By Veronica Wells 

My friend of nearly twenty years was visiting me this past weekend. So naturally, we were reminiscing over our middle and high school years. As she was describing how our classmates’ lives had turned out, she said, “Remember when the worse thing we thought a man could do in a relationship was cheat on us?”

I responded, “Yeah girl. There were only two things. Cheating or hitting us.” 

6 Tips for Ending a Friendship Gracefully


By Onicia Muller

The birth and death of friendships are as mysterious and unpredictable as waves washing up on the shore. We can't predict when and what they’ll bring into our lives. We don't know what they’ll take or teach us when they leave. My would-be best friend struggled with low self-esteem, depression, and abandonment issues. After nearly a decade of knowing each, I chose to end the friendship. It felt horrible abandoning my friend at what seemed to be a low point in her life. Six months after our last conversation, I reconciled that we were both running on empty and didn’t have anything left to give. I finally forgave myself and my friend for letting our relationship die, and I learned some valuable things in the process. Here are 6 tips for ending friendships gracefully.

The Problem With Making Other Couples Your Relationship Goals

Tasha and Ghost of Power
By Erickka Sy Savané

I came across this tweet by a woman who started watching early episodes of Power and came to the conclusion that Tasha (played by Naturi Naughton) and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) were goals. And while there was a collective belly laugh that exploded throughout the internet (more on that later) it was easy to see why this viewer would see it that way. Tasha and Ghost seem to have it all: a Manhattan apartment fit for a king and queen, beautiful kids, and a rock solid relationship that endured him going to prison, what's not to get in your goal-envying feelings about?

Length Retention Tips, Hair Growth & Keeping Bleached Hair Healthy All in One Stop

OnlyOneJess
Okay, so OnlyOneJess, grew a lot of hair since transitioning from relaxed to natural 3 years ago. On top of growing it and keeping it healthy and strong, you can see that it's bleached as well (clutch yo' pearls!). How did she do it? Check the video for tips on length retention, growing a gorgeous mane, and making bleach work for you, not against you. Make sure to like the video, subscribe and comment too!

Anyone Buying a Lauryn Hill Ticket In 2018 Deserves Whatever She Gives Them

Ms. Lauryn Hill Courtesy Photo via TheMiamiTimes
By Veronica Wells 

I was in fifth grade when Lauryn Hill’s Miseducation was released. I don’t think I could overstate what that album meant to me. It changed the game for me (I would learn later, so many other young, Black women.)

A year later, during a family reunion—where we ended up in Vegas— I saw that Lauryn Hill was performing there, the day after we would have already left. I stood there on the strip, staring at that illuminated marquee, somehow knowing that I was missing something magical, some once in a lifetime event. As you know, Lauryn Hill is still performing her classic album. But if I wanted to hear what I fell in love with, the best chance of that would have been in 1999.

Nikki's on Dr. OZ Today Talking About What Stress & Anxiety Can Do to Your Hair

Dr. Jen Caudle, Nikki, Dr. OZ & Guest
Wonder what stress and anxiety can do to your hair?

Continue

Nape Hair Giving You the Blues? Here's How to Strengthen & Grow It!


Discovering Natural 
Just like our edges, the nape area can have a lot of breakage, but also a lot of growth. These tips for strengthening and growing nape hair from Discovering Natural are so practical that even a child can follow them!

Thinking of Homeschooling? These Black Moms Have Been There, Done It & Got the T-Shirt



By Erickka Sy Savané

As the mother of two young African American girls, I’ve been thinking about homeschool for a while. There’s been this knowing inside of me that I can’t let my kids continue to be taught in a school system that was never set up for them in the first place. I mean, we had to fight to be integrated into America’s school system so what makes us think that they would teach from any other perspective than that of a white European? Then there are the undeniable signs from the outside that keep coming. Like, discovering just recently that the most revered children’s book author in American history, Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel, who is celebrated for a full week every single year in public school, was nothing more than a racist who regularly depicted Blacks and Japanese Americans as “savages.” Many credit his vicious attacks against the Japanese during World War II with helping lead to their eventual mass incarceration. I had the same sinking feeling when I found out that the Indian leader that I had been taught to idolize as a child, one Mahatma Gandhi, was no better. He constantly described Africans as “savages” in his writing and campaigned relentlessly to the British ruling class in S. Africa for the better treatment of Indians. Then there’s our new Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos, who could single handedly undermine all progress in education for everybody. So what am I waiting for?

Continue

A Man Will Distract You From Your Work...But How Much is Too Much?

Shonda Rhimes
By Veronica Wells 

Shonda Rhimes shared more than a few gems in her memoir Year of Yes. But it was her thoughts on marriage that have haunted me, especially since I'm embarking on marriage within the next few months. In the book, one of the reasons Rhimes says she won’t marry is because she does not want a man distracting her from her work. Mind you Rhimes has three children. But the love she feels for her children overrides the feelings of frustration she might feel if one of them were to need her while she was in the groove of writing. But a man being or causing a distraction to the work she loves and cherishes, she couldn’t rationalize.

Continue

'This Is Us' Actor Lonnie Chavis Has an Epic Question for Internet Trolls

Lonnie Chavis
By Erickka Sy Savané

If 11-year-old Lonnie Chavis looks familiar to you it's because he plays adorable young Randall on the Emmy-award-winning show 'This Is Us.' An actor since age 4, Lonnie has grown up in the business and has 145k instagram followers to prove it. But where there's love, there's also hate. Lonnie's celebrity status makes him a troll magnet just like anyone else. So when he recently took to his instagram account to address trolls who constantly tease him about the gap in his teeth, we had to clap at the clapback. He said, "I can fix my gap...but can you fix your ________ though?" Bonus if you can fill in the blank. And we applaud this youngun' for being strong, and using negativity as an opportunity to spread love!

Continue

You Can't Pray Someone Else's Prayer to Manifest a Man But You Can Do This...

Actress Yvonne Orji and Emmanuel Acho via IG
By Veronica Wells

Years ago, I was attending a cultural parade downtown. Having reached my limit of human interaction for the day, at the parade’s conclusion, I announced that I would be returning home. This was a deviation from what the rest of the group was doing: following up the parade with an early dinner at a Nigerian restaurant. When one of the women in the group learned that I wasn’t joining them, she tried to persuade me to go.

“You might be missing out on your African Prince.”

Have You Been Gaslighted During Sex? Chances Are You Have.



By Lauren R. D. Fox

If you’ve ever used mascara by Too Faced called ‘Better Than Sex’ you’ve probably chuckled because in some instances the mascara is indeed better than the unfulfilled sexual encounters some of us have had. On top of engaging in less than satisfactory sex, some of us have dealt with toxic partners who spew false rhetoric about our sanity, needs, bodies or genitals, making us feel small and confused about our sexual experiences. Psychology Today classifies this as gaslighting.

The Truth About Domestic Violence From Family Left Behind

Antoinette White and her niece
By Erickka Sy Savané

3 or more women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands every single day in the United States. It's the type of tragedy you pray never happens in your family, and then it does. Antoinette White knows this story all too well because her younger sister Heather was brutally killed by her boyfriend who was also the father of her child (1 years old at the time), and a surrogate dad to her special needs son (age 3). For those who are left behind, life changes instantly. Here's how Antoinette's family were able to pick up the pieces.

Dear Black Women, We Can’t Pray Mental Illness Away


By: Lenora Houseworth

What words come to mind when you think self-care? Bubble baths, facial masks and meditation apps? If you haven’t already noticed, the self-care revolution has become big business--and with good reason. Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from stress and depression, with Black women uniquely impacted by race-related daily stress. It took me many years and my own mental breakdown before I understood that self-care is more than lighting candles on #SelfCareSunday. It also took me being 30+ and a depression diagnosis in my 20's to realize prayer does not cure mental dysfunction and distress. For many black women, church is and always has been the only power source for mental and emotional maintenance.

And it’s killing us.

Continue

Everything You Need to Know About PR From Publicist Deidre Palode

Deidre Palode
By Michelby Coco Whitehead

A publicist’s job is quite fascinating, especially as it relates to the beauty industry. From your favorite hair care commercials and even the infamous Dove and Shea Moisture ads that made consumers of color say “Girl, bye!” you can bet your good wig that a publicist was involved somewhere in the process. Having a PR expert on your team is an invaluable investment, but before hiring someone, there are several things to consider. Atlanta-based PR pro Deidre Palode shared some insight on what it’s like to work in the industry, as well as what beauty professionals should consider before hiring someone to leverage media coverage for their brand.

For Black Millennnials, Home Ownership Still the Best Way to Build Generational Wealth: Part 2

Real Estate Developer & Entrepreneur A. Donahue Baker
By Erickka Sy Savané

In part 1 of this 2-part series we spoke to real estate developer and entrepreneur A. Donahue Baker about some of the misconceptions that black Millennials have when it comes to building generational wealth through home ownership. Here, he'll talk about the best places to buy, gentrified neighborhoods, and how to spot a bargain. Get your pens ready to take notes!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...