6 Tips for Ending a Friendship Gracefully


By Onicia Muller

The birth and death of friendships are as mysterious and unpredictable as waves washing up on the shore. We can't predict when and what they’ll bring into our lives. We don't know what they’ll take or teach us when they leave. My would-be best friend struggled with low self-esteem, depression, and abandonment issues. After nearly a decade of knowing each, I chose to end the friendship. It felt horrible abandoning my friend at what seemed to be a low point in her life. Six months after our last conversation, I reconciled that we were both running on empty and didn’t have anything left to give. I finally forgave myself and my friend for letting our relationship die, and I learned some valuable things in the process. Here are 6 tips for ending friendships gracefully.

Hey Girlfriends, There is a Way to Get a Girlfriends Movie Made

The 'Girlfriends:' LaVeris/FilmMagic
By Brenda Alexander

Like many, I was disappointed in the lackluster season 8 finale, which turned out to be the series finale (cancellation), of Girlfriends. Fans who grew close to the characters and related to their relationships, were left with no real resolution, or even a happy ending. After years of failing in love, Joan Carol Clayton had finally found it in her fiance Aaron, only for him to be deported to Afghanistan. Free-spirited, once homeless, always jobless and sexually free Lynn Searcy had found steady work and passion as an indie artist with a record deal and an uncertain future at her label. Our beloved “5th girlfriend” William and his wife Monica were pregnant; and, I can’t even remember what the hell was going on with Mya and Darnell post his mid-life crisis gig as a race car driver, their son acting a teenage fool and Mya’s rise and stagnant position as a black self-help author. The most devastating part of it all was that we never got to see a reconciliation between longtime frenemies Joan and Toni. Talk about a cliff hanger?! I mean, I have the series on DVD and watch it from beginning to end in a repeated cycle because I feel like I was robbed of a proper ending.

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Count On Me: Do You Have A Squad You Can Depend On?

Ciara, Serena, LaLa & Eva Longoria via Serena's IG
By Brenda Alexander

Remember that scene from the movie Waiting to Exhale where Robyn, Gloria, Bernie and Savannah were two steppin’ to Creep by TLC with their hair tossed, outfits on fleek, candles burning in the background and champagne glasses full? From the moment I watched that part of the film, I anticipated the day my girls and I would do the same. That scene and what came afterward had all of the ingredients of what friendship symbolized to me: a tablespoon of fun, a teaspoon of honest truth, an ounce of comroadeire and a cup full of love. Now, I was only 4 when the movie was released so why I was watching it with my mother in the first place has yet to be determined, but regardless, that scene has forever stuck out in my mind as the picture of friendship. It was probably the first image of black friendship I ever saw on television and with that example, I am eternally grateful because it set the tone and standard for what I dreamed my circle would be like.

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