Isn't it Time You Fell in Love With the Process of Becoming the Best You? #BeHerNow


The seeming process is actually a moment to moment decision to either stay stuck in fear, or to move forward in love, to be the old you, or to be HER— and this decision can only be made now... and now... and now... So stay asking yourself who you’re being, and act accordingly. #Rebirth #EveryInstant

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True Story: I Negotiated How Long My Man Should Go Down On Me




By TJ

“Are you going to cum?” asks my dude of some months, breaking the momentum of going down on me to rub his neck once again.
“Yea. I’m close.”
“You said that 15 mins ago.”
Sigh.
“You can’t have me down here all day.”
“Ok. So what’s the cutoff time?” I ask.
“Hunh?”
“What’s a decent amount of time that you feel comfortable?" I repeat.
“15 no more than 30 mins.”
“That’s plenty!”
“But you already used up 30," he says.
“That can’t be right," I frown.
“You do it all the time.”

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Flip the Switch: An Exercise on How to #BeHerNow

Gathered, yet? #FlipTheSwitch #BeHerNow

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4 Things I Learned When I Forgot My Baby in the Car


By Erickka Sy Savané

I was reading an article recently about a South Carolina dad whose 8-month-old baby died after being left in a hot car all day. We hear these stories and wonder how this could happen? Actually, statistics show that it happens to the tune of 36 babies dying each year in the United States. We also wonder, who could do such a thing? Well...I did. Thankfully, my baby didn’t die, and I was able to learn some valuable life lessons as a result.

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You Become a Master of Your Life When You Value What You Give Your Attention to: #BeHerNow




-Nikki Walton

The moment you notice you’re worrying or overthinking: STOP 

Loneliness is Your Sign to be Super Watchful #BeHerNow



Whenever the impulse arises to reach out to that person you said you wouldn’t reach out to no mo,’ use it as a trigger to become super watchful.

The Cure for Wanting Everyone to Like You


By Erickka Sy Savané

Not long ago, I was having a moment about an article I wrote that was pissing a lot of women off. Not everyone, but enough that I started to let it get to me. Being a writer today is interesting because you do your best to convey a message that you believe in, and the truth is, not everyone is going to like it. No matter how well-intended. And the worst part isn't that folks disagree, opinions make the world go round, it's when people start calling you names and making threats. I learned this when I had to block someone on twitter about something I said about Serena, who I do adore by the way. At one point, I was close to clicking the delete button on the story altogether when something told me to pause and ask myself what’s really going on?

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Remembering Your True Self When You Forget Who You Are

Nikki Walton
That general uneasiness that’s always lingering in the background? It’s just a symptom of your forgetfulness. When you forget who you really are, you feel scared, you worry, you stay on edge, hella moody, ready to snap. You don’t even know why! You also stay trying to manipulate & rearrange the outside circumstances in hopes that you’ll feel better. But there’s only one real ‘fix.’ No matter the presenting problem, be it physical, mental or financial, there’s only one remedy- you must remember your true self BEYOND just the natural hair wearing, no shit taking, education having woman in the mirror.

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Vlogger Shares Graphic Details of How Weave Severely Damaged Her Hair & Scalp

C&D Journey
By Erickka Sy Savané

We talk a lot on this site about the benefits of embracing our natural hair, but the truth is, many women, even within the natural hair community, still wear weaves either to switch it up or as a protective style. Vlogger Sierra Baynes, 20, from Georgia, is a reminder to all, better yet, a WARNING to weave responsibly. We thank this beauty for being brave enough to share all the mistakes made, as well as the lessons learned, from her experience damaging her hair and scalp with a weave gone wrong. In this case, her hair loss was definitely our gain. Peep her video, drop a comment and please share!

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The Discomfort is Your Miracle in Disguise


The discomfort is the shift. It’s your miracle in disguise.

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Tough Times For Blac Chyna: Can Anyone's Reputation Be Restored?

Via Black Chyna's IG
By Ta-ning Connai

Blac Chyna had a mini meltdown on Instagram last week and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why. Unless you've been living under a rock, we all know about the Kardashian catastrophe that was doomed right from the start. The relationship with Rob was a no-no. To put it on air was a no-no. But to then try and sue Kris Jenner and her entire K-Klan? Now that's an absolute OH NO! And then when you think things can't get worse...a scandalous sex tape AND the resurgence of the meme “you can't turn a ho into a housewife,” which now has her face on it. And although she appears to be a victim of her own circumstance, it doesn't mean she should be viewed as the least likely to change.

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One to Watch: How Choosing Herself is Paying Off For Singer Aisha Badru

Aisha Badru
By Sharee Silerio

Singer and Yonkers, New York native Aisha Badru was three years into college when she realized that she’d had enough. The daughter of Nigerian educators was living a life that she didn’t choose and it was taking its toll. So after much contemplation, she did what would seem crazy to many and she quit.

Tell It Tuesday: Pride Will Bring You Low, But Being Humble Takes You Higher

Kenan Thompson as LeVar Ball on SNL
By Ta-ning Connai

Egotist. Sexist. Obnoxious. Who knew that LaVar Ball and Trump had so much in common?! There's a Twitter War going on between them and they've both achieved buffoonery status being portrayed on Saturday Night Live. Kenan Thompson brought the house down yet again recently taking his parodied version of the Ball family mascot to TNT’s Inside The NBA. Even Thompson couldn't refrain from rolling on the floor with laughter, but in real life, prideful arrogance just ain't funny.

Do You Stay Checking Your Phone? Get Smart & Do This Instead.


There’s an uneasiness in you, a restlessness, that causes you to stay checking your phone. 

Instead of Over Praising Your Kids Try Adopting THIS Game Changing Mindset


By Erickka Sy Savané

My 6 year-old daughter put on an impromptu talent show with some of her dolls. Princess Tiana, Ariel, the redhead from the movie Brave and Mulan sang and danced together like any girl group who had gotten together for the first time with no rehearsal. After about 10 minutes, I thanked her, and told her that it needed some work. “Think about how you can make it better and try it again,” I said enthusiastically. Her mood shifted immediately, and I could see she was disappointed. When I asked what was wrong she wouldn’t say.

"Listen, it was a good show, especially for a first try, but I know you can make it even better. Just try.” I don’t’ know if she heard me.

Pay Up Kiddo! Should a 5-Year-Old Have To Pay Rent?



By Erickka Sy Savané

Making the rounds online like a California wildfire is definitely a topic that caught my eye about a mom, Essence Evans, who shared on her facebook page that she charges her 5-year-old daughter rent. As a mom of two who is constantly asking myself whether I'm doing the right things as a parent, it made me stop and think. Should little kids pay rent? Well, you can imagine that there has been A LOT of discussion, sometimes heated, for and against, from here all the way to the UK! Find out what this mom hopes to accomplish by teaching her daughter that ain't nothin' going on but the rent, and share your thoughts!

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9 Signs You're Doing Better Than You Think You Are




By Ruu Hawkins

We all enter seasons in our lives where we feel like everything is coming to a head – life just won't let up. I, for one, experience this period of “WTF" every few years, or so. Most recently – last May to be exact – I had firmly set my feet back on the ground (financially) following a drought of sorts due to job loss, followed by inconsistent freelance work, and countless financial emergencies, which drained my life savings.

Following a move from the west coast to the east coast – I was now surrounded by family and friends – a longing I had carried for several years prior, as a young single mother. My daughters were adjusting nicely. I felt as though the storm was over. Only, within eight months of returning to my hometown life knocking at my door was a fresh basket of lemons. Once more, I was faced with uncertainty as both a mother and provider, after receiving a pay cut of 50 percent – with but a week's notice.

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5 Things Moms Are Teaching Their Sons About Rape


By Mwabi Kaira

When rape and sexual harassment claims were brought against Harvey Weinstein we knew it was a serious issue but were able to keep it “over there” until Lupita Nyong’o spoke out. It became an ‘us’ thing and we were on high alert. Then Terry Crews spoke out and it was hard to wrap our minds around a man of his stature being violated by another man in front of his wife. But since allegations have recently been brought against Russell Simmons the conversation has shifted to us. Nine women have accused the media mogul of sexual harassment and assault. Four of these women, Drew Dixon, Toni Sallie, Tina Baker and Sherri Hines have accused Simmons of rape and the NYPD has opened an investigation. In response, Russell has started his own hashtag #NotMe to state his innocence.

This is a teachable moment for our sons and we cannot ignore the important conversation that needs to be had. I have taught my sons about accountability since they were young in all areas of their lives including sex. I have many friends who are raising sons as well and I reached out to them to ask what they are teaching them about rape. Their sons range in age from 16 to 21 and are athletes, one plays in the league. We had a long discussion and this is what we are teaching our sons about what they should know about rape...

7 Lessons We Can Learn From Jenifer Lewis' Memoir: The Mother of Black Hollywood

Jenifer Lewis
By Veronica Wells

When I heard that Jenifer Lewis was writing a memoir, I was immediately intrigued. Not only has she played everybody’s momma on the big and small screens, her persona just draws you in. Whether she’s sharing sage career advice, singing about how she doesn’t want anybody f*cking with her in these streets, or speaking candidly about her mental illness, Lewis’ energy is infectious. She’s engaging. She’s fascinating. You just want to lean in and hear what the hell she has to say. So I had to get my hands on that book. And not only has it exceeded my expectations in the areas of fun-ny, the memoir also includes several life lessons.

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5 Things I Learned Early About Sexual Misconduct


By Vince Lake

Amid what's taken place lately in the media with all these men in positions of power being accused of various forms of misconduct; it has made me reflect upon myself and place my own behavior under the microscope. As an adult, I can say I’ve never compromised myself with placing a woman in an uncomfortable position. With that said, I’m not perfect neither. The recent climate of male sexual misconduct that’s been brought to light is damaging. I sincerely have empathy for the victims, women/men. And I hope there's merit to their claims. On that note, I’d like to bare my truth with you.

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