Sorry Ladies, Liking IG Photos is not Shooting Your Shot. This Is.


By Veronica Wells 

Earlier this week, I saw a meme on The Shade Room that didn’t initially strike me as anything special. Usually, I like to go into the comments and check the pulse of the culture to see what people have to say about a certain topic. But with this, I just kept scrolling. Nothing to see there. It wasn’t until I saw my friend like it and then I saw it again on an associate’s page, that I decided to read it again to see if I missed some type of profound truth. Women were actually saying that they consider liking several Instagram pictures in succession to be a form of shooting their shot. 

Chile.

Is it Time for Ray J's Mom to Butt Out of His Business?

Ray J & mom Sonja Norwood
By Mwabi Kaira 

I’ve noticed a trend when it comes to “our” reality shows; mothers of grown black men stay in their business. First there was Mama Jones on Love and Hip Hop New York, who stayed in Jim Jones and Chrissy’s relationship in the first season back in 2011. She didn’t like not being her son’s number one priority after Chrissy came along, and it doesn’t seem that things have gotten any better since the three of them went on to appear on Marriage Boot Camp. Then there’s Scrappy’s Mama, Momma Dee, on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, who proudly proclaims to be the Queen of Scrappy’s castle in the Atlanta franchise and doesn’t want anyone knocking her off her throne. Not to be outdone, we now have Sonja Norwood, mom to Ray J, and her sidekick Brandy on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, all up in his business.

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Tell It Tuesday: What Slim Thug Gets Wrong About Ciara Leveling Up

Slim Thug & The Wilson's 
By Ta-ning Connai

We haven't heard from Slim Thug since he spit rhymes on Beyonce's “Check On It” way back in 2006. And based on the rapper’s recent backlash he’s incurred, he’s probably wishing we weren't hearing from him now.

During a radio interview last week, the Houston native was asked if he thought a girl could date a good guy after having dated bad boys for a while. And that's when he decided, for no reason at all, to drag Ciara and her husband ‘cross the living room floor! He basically said that Ciara had a thing for street dudes and since she ended up with Russell Wilson, it must be all about the dough. He called Wilson corny, a square, lame and not cool...meanwhile, he just bought a pair of Russell's Nike shoes! Yo Slim, you had the nerve to tell the world you’re an undercover fan? But the worst part was when Slim said Ciara ain't changed and can’t adapt to a good man đŸ˜Č.

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Remember When We Thought the Worst that Could Happen in a Relationship Was Cheating?


By Veronica Wells 

My friend of nearly twenty years was visiting me this past weekend. So naturally, we were reminiscing over our middle and high school years. As she was describing how our classmates’ lives had turned out, she said, “Remember when the worse thing we thought a man could do in a relationship was cheat on us?”

I responded, “Yeah girl. There were only two things. Cheating or hitting us.” 

Forget the Fluff. Power Tackles Grief This Season

Photo courtesy of Starz
By Mwabi Kaira

I was late to the Power party. Everyone was singing its praises Season 1 and I just wasn’t feeling it.  I finally got past the first episode and binge watched the entire season. It was hard for me to understand how everyone was so clueless with what was going on when it was right in their faces but I rocked with it and got on the bandwagon. Tasha and Kesha are my girls, Ghost is fine but makes bad decisions, Angela does the most, Dre went from 0 to 100 with too much confidence for my liking, Tommy is a hot head, Canaan is a snake, and Tariq makes me and every Mama on this earth’s blood boil. Raina’s death last season was a shocker and very unexpected.

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Admit It or Not We've all Dated a Stevie J.


Photo via Hollywood Life
By Michelby Coco Whitehead

Like many music lovers, I have been waiting not so patiently for real R&B to make a comeback. Last week my wish kind of came true; however, nobody told me it would come through the seemingly drunk in love nuptials of Faith Evans and Stevie J... Let us pray.

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Meet the Police Officer Who Blew Up on Instagram Doing Good in His Community

Officer Norman and kids in his Little Rock community
By Ta-ning Connai 

Officer Thomas Norman is clearly cut from a different cloth. Through his strategy for community policing (a mix of relatability, love, compassion and respect), he is changing the way many of us see law enforcement. He was doing good deeds behind the scenes in his hometown of Arkansas when rapper and community activist Killer Mike took notice. Mike took him on CNN as a prime example of what police can do to assist and engage (not taunt and terrorize) people of color. But it was west coast rapper, The Game and his son Harlem, who brought Tommy to rock star status in 2016. On the heels of the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, The Game found it important to let people know that there was an officer out there making a tremendous effort to restore hope and mend the wounds that bad cops have caused. So he and his son created a GoFundMe page for people to support Norman’s outreach. From Hollywood celebrities to everyday folks, the blessings are STILL pouring in! Officer Norman’s IG page- which has over 1 million followers- has a fabulous reality show vibe; it's heartwarming, hilarious and keeps you coming back. Even the neighborhood regulars have a bunch of fans following their every move. But hey, don't take my word for it, just see it for yourself and I'm sure these Best Officer Norman Moments will make your heart just melt!

Queen Sugar Got Us Asking If It's OK for Sisters to Dip from the Same Dating Pool?

Nova & Charley of Queen Sugar
By Mwabi Kaira

My parents gave me two sisters, one older and one younger. My oldest sister was three years older than me and my little sister is 18 months younger than me. As teens we pulled from the same dating pool in our small town. They say girls mature faster than boys and it was evident when we exchanged stories in our bedroom about our day and found out that the same boy would try and hit on all three of us. We had many laughs over it. We knew that if one of us liked someone they were immediately off limits. Boys don’t get this memo right away and are just happy to ask everyone for their number until they learn to become selective. Some boys grow into men and still don’t learn that lesson and everyone is fair game; mother, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, everyone.

Which brings me to Queen Sugar.

Cheating Is Nothing New. But is it Worse When Women Do It?


By Veronica Wells 

The following is a true story. There was a Black woman married to an Italian man. Although we never really know what’s going on in someone’s marriage, by all accounts, this was a happy one. The man wasn’t a model but he was kind to her, provided for her and her children, they were taking vacations together. Still, she recruited men from Craigslist for sex. She was very sneaky with it. She would meet them during her lunch hour, while both she and her husband were at work. And judging by the way she told the story and the way she executed her plan, her husband became nothing but a sweet sucker.

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Tell It Tuesday: Teyana, Don't Put Your Business in the Street if You Can't Stand the Heat

Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert
By Ta-ning Connai

Remember back in the days when Grandma used to say, “Don't go putting your business out in the streets”? Well, Grandma would be surprised to find that too much information has become WAY TOO MUCH information as the line between people’s personal and private lives have virtually been removed. This isn't just the case with regular folks, celebrities are doing it too. And in spite of having so much to lose and less to gain, they are handing us a VIP pass to stuff many of us neither want, need or deserve to know. The days of Hollywood mystique are gone and fans expect more transparency from the people they somehow have the power to make or break. But if a celebrity voluntarily spills their own beans, is it fair for them to shoot our opinions down?

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The Problem With Making Other Couples Your Relationship Goals

Tasha and Ghost of Power
By Erickka Sy Savané

I came across this tweet by a woman who started watching early episodes of Power and came to the conclusion that Tasha (played by Naturi Naughton) and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) were goals. And while there was a collective belly laugh that exploded throughout the internet (more on that later) it was easy to see why this viewer would see it that way. Tasha and Ghost seem to have it all: a Manhattan apartment fit for a king and queen, beautiful kids, and a rock solid relationship that endured him going to prison, what's not to get in your goal-envying feelings about?

Is Letting Your Man Style Your Hair the Ultimate Sign of Love?

Dan & Wendy
By Erickka Sy Savané

Before this video I'd seen Wendy and Dan in passing. Every now and then they'd pop up on the side of my computer screen in a sponsored video, smiling like they'd just cashed a check. I even wondered if they were a real couple. Now I know. Dan Hennessey & Wendy Joseph are indeed a real couple who have been together for over 10 years (now engaged), with tons of youtube followers who tag along to see their escapades in places like Paris, Costa Rica or even the kitchen as the two chef it up. Wendy has also been known to post videos on her hair routine, which brings me to this video in which Dan attempts to get all up in her voluminous tresses to style her hair in a bun. I could count the number of times a man who wasn't a hair stylist has done my hair. One. My husband. So it made me wonder, is letting your man in your hair the ultimate sign of closeness?

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How Long Will Women Sing About Men Doing Wrong Instead of Demanding That They Actually Do Right?

 Queen Naija 
By Mwabi Kaira

I heard a song called Medicine by Queen Naija on the radio the other day and immediately thought, “Oh, we’re still doing this.” Each generation hopes that the one behind it gets all that we got wrong right. I really enjoy watching young girls being so sure of themselves these days and I foolishly thought that they had found the formula and were done taking mess from men but the song confirmed that they are out here still discovering that not all men do right and will treat you like an option and not a priority if you let them. In the song, Queen Naija laments about her man ignoring her lately, seeing calls from “just friends” and him coming in at 6 in the morning. She is frustrated because she has been faithful and says she knows what she has to do and turns the tables and gives him a taste of his own medicine...

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Are Men Intimidated By Funny Women? Tiffany Haddish Thinks So.

Tiffany Haddish & John Legend
By Veronica Wells

The other day I fell into a Youtube rabbit hole and discovered an interview between Tiffany Haddish and John Legend. The two talked about all sorts of interesting things but one thing Haddish said stuck with me. John asked her: “Do you find guys like women that make them laugh? I have a wife that makes me laugh all the time.”

Tiffany: “I think guys that are confident in themselves, love women who make them laugh. I think guys that are very insecure—which is what I seem to attract— they don’t like it so much. They be cool the first few dates, then they’ll be like, ‘Oh wait, she can control this whole room.’”

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The Obamas & The Carters: True Love vs. Business Strategy?


By Devon Mac

As I type these words I'm already tired of talking about Jay Z and Beyoncé so please forgive this post. But I was sitting here in the cloud of their media hype and most recently an article about how their joint album, Everything is Love, did not debut at number 1, and a few quandaries began to surface for me.

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A Man Will Distract You From Your Work...But How Much is Too Much?

Shonda Rhimes
By Veronica Wells 

Shonda Rhimes shared more than a few gems in her memoir Year of Yes. But it was her thoughts on marriage that have haunted me, especially since I'm embarking on marriage within the next few months. In the book, one of the reasons Rhimes says she won’t marry is because she does not want a man distracting her from her work. Mind you Rhimes has three children. But the love she feels for her children overrides the feelings of frustration she might feel if one of them were to need her while she was in the groove of writing. But a man being or causing a distraction to the work she loves and cherishes, she couldn’t rationalize.

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True Story: I Became a Surprise Stepmother


By TaNeisha Gates

My partner walked into the room bearing a brown envelope, and the look he gave me, I immediately knew something was wrong. I had only seen that look a few times in our lives together. The day his mom passed was one of them. He sat at the dining table, opened the envelope, and indicated that I should take a look. I did so, and just from peeping over his shoulder, I saw a name at the bottom of the page. I knew that name. Now I wished I could un-see what I saw. I wished I could unread what I read, but it was too late.

Tell It Tuesday: Jay, Bey & the POWER OF FORGIVENESS


Jay & Bey
By - Ta-ning Connai

Whenever your doubters have you down for the count, here’s a list of things to do to show them you're still on top…
1. Shut down the Louvre in Paris
2. Rattle out some lyrics hot enough to burn down the Amazon Rainforest
3. Make sure you get it all on film

Simple right? Well, Jay and Bey sure make it seem that way. The famed museum was the backdrop for The Carters’ video for Apesh*t, the first single from their sneak attack album called Everything Is Love (dropped June 16).

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Is a Man Obligated To Take Care Of His Ex...if She's Raising Their Children?


By Veronica Wells

My fiancĂ© loves to say things to get a reaction out of me. And a couple of weeks ago, it was “Steve Harvey gave some good relationship advice the other day.” As much as I try not to respond to these outlandish statements of his, I immediately rolled my eyes. But turns out he was serious. And I had to agree that Harvey’s advice in this particular situation was quite...compassionate.

True Story: I Married a Weed Head Part 2



By Angela Perry


He quit. For anyone who read part 1 of this story you know that things were getting bumpier than the Democrat’s road to take back the Senate. But he quit. It took basically alienating myself from him and ultimately deciding that I was just going to leave him alone. Meaning, I wasn’t going to get mad at him anymore for smoking. I came up with that because I felt that I was only hurting myself every time I got mad, while he continued on. Now it didn’t mean that I was going to smoke myself, because I quit. It also didn’t mean that I was going to sit with him while he smoked. I had shit to do. But he stopped; and while I'd like to think that it had something to do with me, I can't take that credit. So how did he quit?

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