Count On Me: Do You Have A Squad You Can Depend On?

Ciara, Serena, LaLa & Eva Longoria via Serena's IG
By Brenda Alexander

Remember that scene from the movie Waiting to Exhale where Robyn, Gloria, Bernie and Savannah were two steppin’ to Creep by TLC with their hair tossed, outfits on fleek, candles burning in the background and champagne glasses full? From the moment I watched that part of the film, I anticipated the day my girls and I would do the same. That scene and what came afterward had all of the ingredients of what friendship symbolized to me: a tablespoon of fun, a teaspoon of honest truth, an ounce of comroadeire and a cup full of love. Now, I was only 4 when the movie was released so why I was watching it with my mother in the first place has yet to be determined, but regardless, that scene has forever stuck out in my mind as the picture of friendship. It was probably the first image of black friendship I ever saw on television and with that example, I am eternally grateful because it set the tone and standard for what I dreamed my circle would be like.

Tell It Tuesday: Idris Elba & the Proposal That Shook the World!

Idris Elba & fiance Sabrina Dahowre
By Ta-Ning Connai

Last week the black community was delivered some devastating news…

Idris Elba...Gone Too Soon

NO HE'S NOT DEAD, he's off the market, but you'd think he kicked the bucket based on the sudden hysteria connected to his name. How can one man’s public proposal make one woman so happy while simultaneously shattering the matrimonial hopes and dreams of black women across the globe? And why so many predictions for a negative outcome? Do we REALLY need to go there, hoping he cheats on his fiance? And why all the insults towards her? What in the world did she ever do to us? I'm just wondering how this will affect his box offices sales,‘cause you know us sistahs will put on a petty protest and make the brotha wanna repent for trespassing against us.

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'Married at First Sight:' Can We Not Blame Relationship Struggles on Natural Hair, Please?


Jephte and Shawniece
By Veronica Wells

I love me some “Married At First Sight.” While most of the couples on this Lifetime series eventually divorce, it’s fascinating to watch two strangers come together and unite in Holy Matrimony the day they meet each other. Each season, the show usually finds one Black couple to feature. Naturally, it’s the Black couple’s story I’m the most interested and invested in. But since the show’s inception, none of the Black couples have stayed together.

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3 Great Ways To Enjoy Valentine's Day as a Single


By Kanisha Parks

Whoever said that Valentine’s Day is just for couples should really have several seats! While Valentine’s Day has an interesting history rooted in romantic ideals, it isn’t meant to be celebrated by couples alone, but to show love to the important people in your life. You remember giving Valentine’s Day cards to all of your classmates as a kid, right? That tradition is still continuing now, so why is that when we grow up, we think we need a “boo” in order to participate? Girl, before you prepare to stay in and rock yourself to sleep while watching romantic comedies in your PJ’s, here are a few ways you can actually enjoy Valentine’s Day, even in your singlehood!

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See What Fun Thing Lethal Weapon Actress Keesha Sharp Does With Hubby On The Side!


Actress Keesha Sharp & Husband Brad Sharp via IG
By Erickka Sy Savané

You may have seen beautiful, Brooklyn-born actress Keesha Sharp lighting up your television screen on shows like 'Are We There Yet,' 'American Crime Story,' and currently 'Lethal Weapon,' since early 2000. But you may not know that when she's not doing her acting thang, she's spending time with her Boo thang doing this!

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Do You Forgive Your Man Faster Than Your Family & Friends?


By Veronica Wells

For as much damage as social media is probably doing to all of our psyches, it's provided endless inspiration for me as a writer and thinker. It's a study in human behavior at our fingertips. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across this post on Instagram. It resonated with me immediately because in the past few years my eyes have been opened to the excuses, the allowances, the exceptions we make for bad behavior when it comes to a man. Patriarchy. In our centering and edifying of men, there's no accountability.

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Why Women No Longer Want The Prayer Ciara Or Any Woman Used To Get A Good Man



By Lauren R.D. Fox

A few Saturdays ago, New York City found itself with a mild temperature and the Sun gleaming upon it. So, I took that as an opportunity to go to my aqua cycling class. While I journeyed there, I scrolled on Instagram to see what people were up to on The Internets.

As I scrolled the million and one posts about drunk brunches and #LazySaturdays, I saw Ciara posted a 58-second clip from a 50-minute sermon Pastor John Gray orated. The main quote from the sermon that ruffled my and many other women’s feathers was: “Too many women want to be married but you’re walking in the spirit of “girlfriend.” On cue, I rolled my eyes as one thought zoomed back and forth in my mind: “What the f---k does that mean?”

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When Do You Feel Comfortable Holding Hands?

Victor Cruz & Karrueche Tran
By Veronica Wells

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled across an image of Karrueche Tran and Victor Cruz holding hands. For some reason the image caught me off guard. For several reasons really. One, I thought Karrueche was still dating Quavo, and Victor Cruz was still with the mother of his child. And most importantly, the two were holding hands. 

7 Things We Learned About Swizz Beatz & Alicia Keys on CBS This Morning

Photo of Swizz Beatz & Alicia King via CBS This Morning 
By Erickka Sy Savané

Let's face it, we all put our best face forward when it comes to how we present our relationships to the public. When it comes to celebs, that may be even more true because they're under the microscope. We watch their every move, and sometimes lose it when they break up. Mary J. and Kendu, Jessie Williams and Aryn Drake Lee, Mariah and Nick Cannon, anyone? So one question we might ask is how do some celeb couples make it work? Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys spoke to Gayle King in their first interview together on CBS This Morning (this morning). With lots of laughs and goo-goo eyes, we were able to get a sense of how they keep their light shining!

Relationship Cliches: Does Your Man Have To Be Your Best Friend?


By Veronica Wells

I like to joke that my father ruined me when it comes to public declarations of romantic love. From an early age, I remember watching some romantic comedy and him, leaning over to tell me something to the effect of, "Whatever you feel about the person you're in love with, that's something for only the two of you. No one else cares."

And while I know that’s not entirely true, those words had a real impact on me. I consider myself a romantic and a lover of love, still; I often find myself rolling my eyes when people speak about their romantic partners. Not because I believe they’re lying or I’m not happy that they’ve found what we’re all searching for in one way or another. But mostly because far too often, people rely on cliches. And they make me wonder if folks are speaking from the heart or saying what they’ve been conditioned to believe is the right thing to say.

Is It Possible To Have A Physical Relationship Without Someone Catching Feelings?


By Vince Lake

She said I love you...and I was an asshole. An asshole like that episode of ‘Friends' with Ross when he said I love you to Emily, and she replied, “Thank you.” No, more like an asshole by telling her, “You don't love me.” I tried to dictate her feelings for me when the funny thing is, I hate it myself when someone tries to dictate my feelings. What was I supposed to do? Tell her I love you too? That wasn't happening. I can't reciprocate what I don't feel. I never lie about my feelings, so why should I start now? Embrassas her, I did...but am I an asshole?

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Does Going To Bed Angry Ruin Your Relationship?


By Erickka Sy Savané

Your husband turns his back on you and goes to sleep. In less than five minutes the room is engulfed by the steady sounds of his snoring while your mind is still fixated on the argument you just had. How can he sleep with so much hanging in the balance? He knows you’re not supposed to go to bed angry. It’s one of the first things you hear when you get married. But here you are playing with fire, having another brush with relationship death, even after ten years of marriage. Really? Why can’t you resolve your issues by bedtime like your best friend? Every time this happens you can’t help wondering if it’s a sign that your relationship is ultimately doomed. Perhaps it’s time you answer the question once and for all:

Will going to bed angry ruin your relationship?

5 Reasons You Should STOP Searching For Your Soul Mate


By Cia Edwards

And they lived happily ever after…

Or maybe they didn’t. As soon as our hormones kick in, we tend to gravitate to the notion that we have to find our “soul mate.” Or even the idea that there is someone out there who matches our personality and characteristics perfectly, which make them our perfect match.

However, how many of us who are in exclusive relationships can really say we’ve met our soulmate? And for the percentage of us who think we have met our “soul mates,” how many of us can say that they are 100% perfect in every aspect of their being?

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How Long Should A Man Wait For A Woman To Get Married?


By Vince Lake

A few years ago, I was a personal trainer in the New York tri-state area. As a personal trainer, you learn a lot about people. I heard all types of stories from my clients, but there’s one particular story I remember to this day about a couple I trained.

This couple lived in Harlem, but worked within the city. I would train her in the morning and her  fiance in the evening. They were engaged for two years and their daughter was five years old. They were in their late 20s to early 30s. She was a manager at a clinic and he was a physical therapist. Their fitness needs were different, she loved cardio workouts while he favored strength endurance training. They started training to have a healthier lifestyle and I admired this. They were a team, living the dream.

Never Give Up. What This Mom Did When Her Son Was Wrongly Imprisoned.

LaVerne Knighten & Son Willie Knighten
By Erickka Sy Savané

African Americans are only 13% of the American population but make up the majority of innocent defendants wrongfully convicted of crimes and later exonerated, according to a study conducted by the National Registry of Exonerations on race and wrongful convictions. Blacks constitute 47% of the 1,900 exonerations listed in the Registry (as of October 2016), and the great majority of more than 1,800 additional innocent defendants who were framed and convicted of crimes in 15 large scale police scandals and later cleared in “group exonerations.” This racial disparity exist for all major crime categories, but the report focused on the three types of crimes producing the largest numbers of exonerations in the Registry: murder, sexual assault, and drug crimes.

This, however, was not on Laverne Knighten's mind in 1996, when her oldest son, Willie Knighten, was issed a life sentence in connection with a drive-by murder in Toledo, Ohio. For any mom this would be devastating news, but what made it even worse was the she knew deep in her heart that her son was innocent.
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What's In A Name? Ask 'Brother Love.'


By Tiffani Greenaway

Over the course of his career, we've seen Sean Combs go through a few name changes. In the 90's, we knew him as Puffy and Puff Daddy, the mastermind behind Bad Boy Records. The 00's gave birth to P. Diddy (after he was acquitted on charges stemming from a nightclub shooting), Diddy, then back to P. Diddy (after being sued by UK producer Richard "Diddy" Dearlove), followed by Sean John (in connection with his clothing line).

While celebrating his 48th birthday in Mexico, the mogul announced that he'd no longer answer to any of those names.

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My Husband Stopped Talking To Me For A Week And This Happened


Via Madamenoire
 By Tara Jones

I hate the silent treatment. Always have. You wanna really piss me off? Stop talking to me. It’s like cutting off my lifeline. I love to talk. Do you know that every five minutes the universe expands by 46 miles? Let’s talk about it. I talk so much my husband sometimes begs me to stop. But I can’t. Talking about what you’re going to do is the next best thing to doing it. And don’t all spiritual gurus say talk it into fruition? Like I said, I love to talk. So when my husband wouldn’t talk to me for a week I thought I would lose my mind.

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Is It Ever Too Late To Heal The Relationship With Your Mom?


Erickka Sy Savané
A story my girlfriend shared with me the other day about a phone conversation with her mom…
“Tell me what you want from the house when I go.”
“Go where?” Bree said to her mom.
“You know, when I die.”
“Die? What’s wrong?? Are you sick???” Bree panicked.
“No. I just want to be prepared.”
This was weird.
“I can’t, ma, just write down whatever you think I’d like.”
“I don’t know what you’d like because I don’t know you like that.”

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Can A Relationship Last When She Wants An Abortion And He Doesn't?

By Vince L.


We were a few months short of two years into our relationship when my world imploded. My ex-was beautiful. She stood about 5'8 inches tall and was often mistaken for a Latina, but she wasn't. She was a mix of Caribbean spices from her father's side and southern militant black love from her mother's side. Somehow the good Lord caused her parents to cross paths in the year of ‘82. Fast-forward twenty-six years, she and I met through a mutual friend on Facebook.  

Is 'Black Love' The #RelationshipGoals We've Been Waiting For?


        
By Mwabi Kaira

Are you watching 'Black Love' on OWN?  Oprah Winfrey has taken her Master Class series and turned the lens on couples for a master class on love. Husband and wife filmmakers Codie and Tommy Oliver interviewed famous and everyday married couples about how they fell in love and have stayed in love and their stories are told in the most honest and emotional way.

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