You Become a Master of Your Life When You Value What You Give Your Attention to: #BeHerNow




-Nikki Walton

The moment you notice you’re worrying or overthinking: STOP 

When Obsessing Over Doing "the right thing" Can Lead to Major F*ck Ups


By Devon Mac

There's this word that I've become newly acquainted with called repression. To say that I've become newly acquainted with repression is sort of misleading because most of my conscious and breathing moments on this earth, apart from early childhood, have been lived repressed. What I mean is that at 40 now, I've become a lot more conscious of what repression is and how it has manifested in my life.

The scary thing about repression is that you can actually have a great time while being blissfully ignorant of its presence in your life.

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Do You Find it Hard to Speak Up for Yourself?



By Veronica Wells  

I think I got my first perm at about five years old. For most children, it’s not exactly the age of rebellion. Instead, it was the age of conditioning and obedience. I was conditioned to sit still and quiet for as long as possible so I could get the best results. And I was a Black child with a Black mother, so obedience was essential for survival.

The idea of speaking up in the chair only became an option when the burning became unbearable.

I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I have a suspicion that our hesitancy to speak up in the salon chairs stems, at least partially, from those early experiences of being taught to be still, to be quiet, to not complain until you felt like you were in real, physical, irreversible danger.

I was reminded of all of those hours I spent in salons, kitchens, and garages converted into beauty shops when I stumbled upon this tweet.

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How to Not Suffer in Silence


By Tiffy Kink

As a black woman, I think that black people are some of the strongest human beings to ever exist on planet earth. However, we can sometimes be too prideful in ourselves, to the point where we are willing to suffer in silence. We have a tendency to let fear and shame invade our minds and silence us. This forces us to believe that we are the only ones going through whatever we are going through. While I believe that experiences are unique to the individual, I don’t believe that one individual is the only individual to have gone through a particular experience. At least that’s not always the case. And even when it is, there are some ways to help you feel like you’re not alone. Here are 9.

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Therapist Vladimire Calixte Discusses The Horrors of "Gaslighting" In Relationships

Vladimire Calixte
By Michelby Coco Whitehead

When I was in high school, I didn’t see the hype about the Lifetime channel. Every Saturday afternoon the women in my family would be glued to the television watching what I thought was a bunch of cliché’ drama between a female protagonist and her insane male love interest. At 16-years-old, I thought it was depressing to watch, but now in my 30s I see such storylines are important to depict because women actually fall in love with toxic mates.

But the gag is when you’re being gaslighted you can’t always recognize the brainwashing that is taking place, so the relationship drags on longer than it should. As a result, one’s life becomes as a chaotic as the movies I used to loathe on Saturdays…

What is gaslighting you ask? I recently had the opportunity to chat with award-winning therapist Vladamire Calixte about the term as it relates to romantic and paternal relationships. Check it out!

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Tune In: 10 Mental Health Podcasts For Black Women

Lauren Ash and Zakkiyyah Najeebah host Black Girl in Om
By Niesha Davis

For years, mental health issues have long been stigmatized in the Black community. And for Black women specifically, we have been taught to keep quiet about the pain, anxiety, and anguish that often eats at us on the daily. It’s only been in recent years that Black people as a whole have stepped out of the mental illness closet in an attempt to not let past demons keep control of us. The fact that there are so many more resources available to inform us definitely helps. Here is a list of 10 mental health podcasts that are helping to empower and uplift Black women as we navigate the murky waters of psychological struggles.

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The Cure for Wanting Everyone to Like You


By Erickka Sy Savané

Not long ago, I was having a moment about an article I wrote that was pissing a lot of women off. Not everyone, but enough that I started to let it get to me. Being a writer today is interesting because you do your best to convey a message that you believe in, and the truth is, not everyone is going to like it. No matter how well-intended. And the worst part isn't that folks disagree, opinions make the world go round, it's when people start calling you names and making threats. I learned this when I had to block someone on twitter about something I said about Serena, who I do adore by the way. At one point, I was close to clicking the delete button on the story altogether when something told me to pause and ask myself what’s really going on?

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With 2 Daytime Emmy Noms, Here's Another Reason to Watch Hit Youtube Series 'Giants'

James Bland & Vanessa Baden Kelly via giantstheseries IG
By Sharee Silerio

Have you ever watched a show that depicted your life story so accurately that you thought it was about you? No? Me either. But there is a web series on YouTube that comes very close, and it’s called “Giants.”

The hit series is executive produced by Jussie Smollett (“Empire”), and its two leads – actor James Bland and actress Vanessa Baden Kelly – were nominated for Daytime Emmys for Outstanding Lead Actor and Actress in a Digital Daytime Drama Series.

DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, BE ABOUT IT: 5 WAYS TO PUT SELF-LOVE INTO ACTION

By Tracye Warfield

If you asked ten women to describe self-love, I’m sure you’d get ten different answers. And, I absolutely hope that you get ten different answers because we’re all different. Hello! The term “self-love” has been thrown around a lot lately. It’s popular. It’s trending. It’s got it’s own hashtag and everything. #SelfLove is hot! But what does it really mean? What does it look like in the real world?

If you look at social media feeds, self love could be anything from daily “I am beautiful. I am AWESOME!” affirmations, to buying yourself the latest pair of Jimmy Choos, to adoring your voluptuous body, to setting time aside for just you, cuddled by a warm fire, jammies on, sipping a glass of wine. So which is it?

Tell It Tues: Let Go of the Past & Don't Look Back



By Ta-Ning Connai

We all have a past. Some are tainted by shattered dreams, lost love or unbearable regrets. Others have enough scandal, dirt and drama to beat EMPIRE in the ratings. Fortunately for me, I'm just glad I didn't catch a case like Cookie or be left for dead like Lucious, 'cause that could've been me with my formerly crazy self! Whatever the case, the past can be haunting, with a grip that can cripple us and keep us from forging ahead.

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14 Signs You Need To Get Laid


By Julia Austin via Madamenoire

I’m not going to sugar coat this for the single ladies: sex is good for you! Really good for you. It boosts your self image, it sends all sorts of relaxation chemicals through your body, and it’s a nice little reminder that you’re totally desirable. When you haven’t had a play date in the bedroom in a while, your body and brain take a hit! Here are signs you need to get laid and soon.

10 Signs You’re So Vain


By Erickka Sy Savané

We live in a society where vanity is practically celebrated, until you're locked in a room with said vain person and then it's not so fun. Are you vain? If you can't answer with a definitive 'no' then go ahead and read these 10 signs. If at least 3 apply to you, well, we'll chat about that after... 

Is Your Femininity Defined By What Others Think Of You?


By Jashima Wadehra 

Growing up, the horizons of beauty and what is sexy were not as broad as they are today. I neither had long voluminous locks nor child bearing hips. Instead my parents genes graced me with broad shoulders, flat feet, chubby fingers and a flat pancake booty. It’s taken me years to understand myself and find my body “feminine.” When you’re subjected to comments like “ you don’t look very girly” or “ your upper body is quite large” you stop being able to tell yourself “I️ am beautiful the way I️ am.” You start to scrutinize and say “ my boobs are too big, my thighs touch, “I️ don’t look petite."

Being a woman who's not petite is quite possibly one of the hardest things to overcome. Indian society is extremely BRUTAL and degrading, especially when it comes to physical appearances.

Choose Who You Want To Be.

7 Ways to Catch Fiyah in 2018!


By Erickka Sy Savané

2018 is here and once again we are faced with that question: Do I set another New Year’s Resolution?

You know it’s hard putting on the same pair of jeans year-after-year because the ones you really want to wear are too damn small. Finally, you start looking at those big jeans saying, they’re not so bad. You just gotta know how to rock them. Then you forget all about those other jeans. Until, that something or someone comes along, reminding you that it’s never too late.

This is for all those who believe that the best is yet to come, and that this new year is an opportunity to let go of the past and come out of the gate swinging!
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9 Signs You're Doing Better Than You Think You Are




By Ruu Hawkins

We all enter seasons in our lives where we feel like everything is coming to a head – life just won't let up. I, for one, experience this period of “WTF" every few years, or so. Most recently – last May to be exact – I had firmly set my feet back on the ground (financially) following a drought of sorts due to job loss, followed by inconsistent freelance work, and countless financial emergencies, which drained my life savings.

Following a move from the west coast to the east coast – I was now surrounded by family and friends – a longing I had carried for several years prior, as a young single mother. My daughters were adjusting nicely. I felt as though the storm was over. Only, within eight months of returning to my hometown life knocking at my door was a fresh basket of lemons. Once more, I was faced with uncertainty as both a mother and provider, after receiving a pay cut of 50 percent – with but a week's notice.

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Signs You're Stressed And How To Deal


By Erickka Sy Savané

4:37 a.m. on a Saturday morning and I'm sitting on the toilet, trying to pee. It’s my third attempt in 60 minutes and try as I might, nothing’s coming out. My bladder feels tight like a balloon filled with water, but somehow my body’s not getting the memo because it just won’t release. Jumping jacks, dancing, nothing has worked so far. Panic is setting in. What if I can’t pee? Two hours later, I'm lying down on a bed in the emergency room at the hospital.

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Sherri Is Naturally Glam & A Mental Health Professional To Boot!

Sherri Newson
Naturally Glam is baaaaaack with a new twist! In addition to chatting it up about our fav topic-HAIR- we’re diving in a little deeper, finding out more about the beautiful baddies that make up CurlyNikki! Up next we have Sherri, originally from North Carolina, currently residing in San Jose, CA. What makes this mama naturally glam is a combination of beauty and her work in the mental health field. Listen in as we chat about her gorgeous mane, as well as advice on what we can do if we find ourselves going through a mental struggle.

Crying In Public: Sign Of Weakness Or Strength?



By: Maya Wright

I’m an emotional person, if that’s what you want to call it. It’s not something I apologize for (because, why should I?)—but I do feel sorry for it; that is, when I allow myself to be that kind of vulnerable with someone who simply wasn’t worth my trust.

I had a pretty rough week last week, and I let myself cry in front of a friend on three different occasions. After the first time, they assured me that I could confide in them and that I didn’t have to bear my burden alone. It was comforting and I felt honesty in their admission; so a couple of days later, I cried in front of them again and then once more the next day. I thought everything was cool and confidential until we were watching a movie with a group of friends (who I have never cried in front of) and the friend I had trusted suggested to everyone that I was emotional. Everyone got a good laugh out of it and I played it off, but I was pretty hurt. It caught me off guard that they would betray my trust like that and I vowed to never cry in front of them again.

But it caused me to really consider: Where did this notion originate, of not wanting to cry in front of other people?

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You Betta Recognize: Mental Health & Black Women



By Erma Breann

I am a believer in the idea we all have some level of anxiety. We all deal with our issues differently but anxiousness, I believe, is universal. Although, how anxiety affects a person's life and emotions is unique. Understanding an individual’s reaction to anxiety is hard because it’s different and unpredictable. Because of that, for an individual, anxiety is even harder to explain. Some do an excellent job riding around the city with their woes. I, like a lot of folks I know, do a decent impersonation of someone who can handle life’s struggles. We call it, “fake it until you make it.” Sad part is, some of us fakers don’t make it. Those who deal with a heavier weight of anxiety have a much harder time faking it. I mean, I talk about the things which trouble me but it doesn’t stop the anxiety attacks. It doesn’t always stop my mind from wandering.

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