True Story: I Married a Weed Head Part 2



By Angela Perry


He quit. For anyone who read part 1 of this story you know that things were getting bumpier than the Democrat’s road to take back the Senate. But he quit. It took basically alienating myself from him and ultimately deciding that I was just going to leave him alone. Meaning, I wasn’t going to get mad at him anymore for smoking. I came up with that because I felt that I was only hurting myself every time I got mad, while he continued on. Now it didn’t mean that I was going to smoke myself, because I quit. It also didn’t mean that I was going to sit with him while he smoked. I had shit to do. But he stopped; and while I'd like to think that it had something to do with me, I can't take that credit. So how did he quit?

True Story: I Negotiated How Long My Man Should Go Down On Me




By TJ

“Are you going to cum?” asks my dude of some months, breaking the momentum of going down on me to rub his neck once again.
“Yea. I’m close.”
“You said that 15 mins ago.”
Sigh.
“You can’t have me down here all day.”
“Ok. So what’s the cutoff time?” I ask.
“Hunh?”
“What’s a decent amount of time that you feel comfortable?" I repeat.
“15 no more than 30 mins.”
“That’s plenty!”
“But you already used up 30," he says.
“That can’t be right," I frown.
“You do it all the time.”

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When it Comes to Relationships, Here's Why T.I. is the Original F*ck Boy


Rapper T.I. 
By Brenda Alexander

I tend to ignore the opinions of black men who coin themselves the embodiment of a standup guy yet they have such minute views on women, relationships and marriage. As my good girlfriend Amanda Seales recently said in her interview with The Breakfast Club, “Everyone is not a thought leader.” We’ve all had to deal with these new norms from public figures over the past few years giving their opinions on black women as it relates to their value, how they should carry themselves, what they need to do to get and keep a man and so on and so forth. Tyrese has become famous for this, Steve Harvey credits himself as a “relationship expert” and T.I. inserts himself often.

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Nas Is My Favorite Rapper, But I Still Haven’t Been Able to Bring Myself to Listen To ‘Nasir’

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY SARAH ROGERS/THE DAILY BEAST

By Britni Danielle

His raspy voice first boomed through my headphones on the Wake Up Show anthem back in 1994, changing my life forever. I remember sitting up in bed when he began spitting his intricate rhymes, wondering who the hell he was and how I could hear more. At the time, I was shy and quiet, and spent most of my time trying to make sense of my parents’ tenuous relationship, which wobbled on the precipice of divorce. Just when I needed it most, the kid who’d dubbed himself "the corrupt novelist Nas" invaded my ears, giving me something else to obsess over than the demise of my family.

Is the Man You're Dating Homophobic? Here's How to Find Out

Amanda Seales via her IG
By Veronica Wells

Amanda Seales shares some incredibly interesting stories on her Instagram page. Most of them are told through the lens of activism, but occasionally she’ll sneak in some relationship advice or an anecdote from her own romantic experiences. In one of the more recent ones, she shared why she had to get rid of a f*ckbuddy turned boo after seven years.

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True Story: I Married a Weed Head.



By Angela Perry

Let me start by saying that I didn’t know that I was marrying a weed head. Well, I kinda did. I found out that he was a closeted daily weed smoker after we’d already been dating a year. I was already in love with him so it wasn’t a reason for me not to get married. One day, he confessed that he’d been smoking weed every day since before we met and didn’t tell me because he didn’t think that I’d be cool with it. Damn straight, an occasional smoker myself, I wouldn’t have signed up to be with a heavy smoker. My father, who I never lived with and barely had a relationship with, had substance abuse issues so men struggling with drug issues was not my thing. I even went to a narcotics anonymous meeting once with a friend years ago and they warned me of the danger of falling for a man I could save. Classic, co-dependent, child of a substance abuser shit.

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You Can't Pray Someone Else's Prayer to Manifest a Man But You Can Do This...

Actress Yvonne Orji and Emmanuel Acho via IG
By Veronica Wells

Years ago, I was attending a cultural parade downtown. Having reached my limit of human interaction for the day, at the parade’s conclusion, I announced that I would be returning home. This was a deviation from what the rest of the group was doing: following up the parade with an early dinner at a Nigerian restaurant. When one of the women in the group learned that I wasn’t joining them, she tried to persuade me to go.

“You might be missing out on your African Prince.”

Have You Been Gaslighted During Sex? Chances Are You Have.



By Lauren R. D. Fox

If you’ve ever used mascara by Too Faced called ‘Better Than Sex’ you’ve probably chuckled because in some instances the mascara is indeed better than the unfulfilled sexual encounters some of us have had. On top of engaging in less than satisfactory sex, some of us have dealt with toxic partners who spew false rhetoric about our sanity, needs, bodies or genitals, making us feel small and confused about our sexual experiences. Psychology Today classifies this as gaslighting.

The Truth About Domestic Violence From Family Left Behind

Antoinette White and her niece
By Erickka Sy Savané

3 or more women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands every single day in the United States. It's the type of tragedy you pray never happens in your family, and then it does. Antoinette White knows this story all too well because her younger sister Heather was brutally killed by her boyfriend who was also the father of her child (1 years old at the time), and a surrogate dad to her special needs son (age 3). For those who are left behind, life changes instantly. Here's how Antoinette's family were able to pick up the pieces.

The Future of Dating in the Era of #MeToo


By Dawn Washington

In catching up with an old friend from college who had just started a new job as a clinic director, I asked him what he would do if he was attracted to one of his employees. His response was, "Nothing, because of the MeToo movement." And as I took a moment to celebrate internally and hum that negro spiritual, "Look How Far We Done Come," he went on. "Men are afraid to approach women now." And he said it with an entitled disdain. I'll admit that I felt my eyes narrow and my lip tighten up because I know this dude wasn't sitting before me over our Cuban-style chicken and yuca complaining about the monumental shift that is happening for women. I just knew he wasn't tripping. After all, he is raising two girls of his own and equally important, 3 boys. If anyone needed to be woke on this matter, it was him.

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True Story: I Was Stalked & Harassed by a Man After Three Dates: Part 2


By Tiffy Kink

Part 1 of this story

When my sister and I got home, my mother immediately sensed that something was very wrong. She could see it in our faces. Who would tell it first, my sister or me? As I was about to say it, my sister said it first, I further explained. The look of slight fear came across my mother’s face. Then anger. Not for me, but for the person who dare to put her and her child’s life in danger. We agreed on a course of action that included going to the police station to file a police report.

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True Story: I Was Stalked & Harassed by a Man After Three Dates: Part 1


By Tiffy Kink

In spring of 2013, my sophomore year in college, I met a guy on an app. I had only met up with one guy before him out of the many different guys that hit me up wanting to take me out. While I don’t necessarily allow one experience to generalize another, I will say that the guy I met before was okay and we even ended up in a relationship for a while. It ended abruptly, however, when he transitioned into a new religion and I rejected his invitation to join in said religion. And marriage. I was 19 at the time.

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When Should a Man You're Dating Tell You He's Expecting a Child?

Dominique Perry & Sarunas J. Jackson
By Veronica Wells 

This week, “Insecure” fans were surprised to learn that Dominque Perry, the actress who played Tasha the bank teller, gave birth to a child fathered by her castmate Sarunas J. Jackson, (the man who plays Dro.)

There was a shock factor associated with this revelation not only because no one would have put these two together but also because there was more than a little bit of drama surrounding the entire situation. When Dominque first shared the news of her pregnancy, she made it clear that she was under the impression that she’d have to go it alone...

Taraji's Engagement at 47 & What it Teaches Us About Not Settling

Taraji P. Henson
By Brenda Alexander

In a 2015 interview with Steve Harvey, when asked about the status of her dating life, Taraji P. Henson declared: “I’m a grown woman...if there’s nothing on this (ring) finger, no one gets claimed. You don’t get claimed until you claim me.”

Well her beau Kelvin Hayden must have taken note because 3 years later, Taraji is now a fiance and wearing it well!

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Should You Attend a Wedding if You Don't Support the Marriage?


By Veronica Wells

I’ll never forget my cousin’s wedding. Not because of the decorations, the food, or the love in the air. Instead, I remember all the signs that pointed to the fact it just wasn’t going to work out. My cousin dropped out of school to marry a man who proved to be bereft of all morals. In fact, some of our family members were the victims of his shenanigans. Still, the heart wants what it wants. 

The day was filled with omens. 

This Financial Behaviorist is Helping Women Make Better Choices Around Money

Photo: Frederick V. Nielsen, II 
By Sharon Pendana 

Financial behaviorist, coach and author, Jacquette M. Timmons has two great obsessions: shoes, and getting people to see that "you don't manage money - you manage your choices around money." Though she left home at sixteen to study shoe design in New York City, an encounter with an Estee Lauder exec opened an entirely different path— to finance. She was hired as her assistant, then moved with her to Wall Street. At Bankers Trust (now Deutsche Bank) Jacquette worked her way up and moved over to the private bank, while working on her MBA in finance. In 1995, she started her own company, Sterling Investment Management, to focus on two specific arms: consumer-facing, with one-on-one coaching for singles, couples, and entrepreneurs, and institutional-facing, with workshops, panels, and speaking engagements. The common thread always people’s choices and relationship with money.

No Black Men, I'm Not Boycotting Issa Rae

Issa Rae
By Brenda Alexander

When my brother told me that Issa Rae was a trending topic on Twitter recently, I was too pumped thinking the trailer for Season 3 of Insecure was released. Instead, I wasted precious seconds of my life searching the hashtag only to discover pure foolery.

Getting Married and Having Kids in Your Twenties. Big Deal or Nah?


By Kanisha Parks

“I want to be married with at least two children by the time I’m 28.”

At least, that’s what 14-year-old me said. You know how it is—you have all of these life expectations for yourself set long before you even reach adulthood, (many of which are shaped by societal “norms”). You probably knew who and what you wanted to be, what you wanted to do, how much money you wanted to make and when, etc. I mean, these were the kinds of conversations we had during lunch. But things change.

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Chasing Tail: Men & Women’s Pursuit of The Ass

Nikki, Cardi & Beyonce 
By Dawn Washington

Over the last month or so I've been taking in bits and pieces of what's happening in the cultural zeitgeist: Beyoncé and Coachella, Cardi B blowing up the spot, Nikki Minaj dropping her latest, Chun Li, and I got to thinking. What is the relationship between these three cultural moments and what do they mean?

Follow me.

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How Long Should You Feel Shy Around Your Man?


Offset & Cardi B
By Veronica Wells

I find myself enamored with Cardi B Whether I agree with everything she says or does, or not, I’m interested. The other day, Cardi launched an Instagram Live video and invited her fiancé, father of her future child, Offset, to take part in the discussion. I guess she wanted to talk to her fans and her man at the same time.

I didn’t watch the whole thing but for the few seconds I was tuned in, I noticed that Cardi wasn’t showing her full face, and she repeatedly asked Offset not to look at her.

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