Sexual Compatibility, Marriage and the Black Church


By Devon Mac

The Black church anchors much of my childhood and adolescence. It was my first experience of nurture and care outside of my family. Where mint candies were sweet gifts of love from older ladies in stockings and knee-length skirts. Where I nervously sang my first solo in the children's choir. Where I rocked white gloves and patent leather shoes on Easter. And as a teenager, where I fell into a range of crushes and formed life-long friendships. The church was also where I came to understand a love that was beyond what anyone on earth could ever give me. It is where my faith was formed. I also received my first formal education about sex in the church.

Continue

True Story: I Dated a Guy with a Foot Fetish


By Tiffy Kink

When it comes to dating, I am a huge fan of three things: Openness, comfort, and communication. Openness, meaning nothing is off limits to talk about, comfort, meaning both parties in the relationship never feel as though they will be ostracized for having opinions that differ from the other party, and communication, being able to have an open-ended dialogue where we listen to one another not for the sole purpose of reacting to ones words but understanding them and asking one another to clarify ones point and hear each other out. While I do believe all three are encompassed in the word communication, I don’t believe that many people consciously apply openness and comfort into the dialogues they have with their partner.

So what does all of this have to do with dating someone who is into feet? A damn lot, that’s what.

Continue

Tell It Tuesday: Teyana, Don't Put Your Business in the Street if You Can't Stand the Heat

Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert
By Ta-ning Connai

Remember back in the days when Grandma used to say, “Don't go putting your business out in the streets”? Well, Grandma would be surprised to find that too much information has become WAY TOO MUCH information as the line between people’s personal and private lives have virtually been removed. This isn't just the case with regular folks, celebrities are doing it too. And in spite of having so much to lose and less to gain, they are handing us a VIP pass to stuff many of us neither want, need or deserve to know. The days of Hollywood mystique are gone and fans expect more transparency from the people they somehow have the power to make or break. But if a celebrity voluntarily spills their own beans, is it fair for them to shoot our opinions down?

Continue

True Story: The Best Sex I Ever Had Was an Unintentional Hook-Up


By Tiffy Kink

Before we get started, I need you to understand who I am. I like meeting people online, but I don’t like hook-ups. I don’t like the idea of random sex. I’m very boring when it comes to dating to be honest and like things, like my sex life, to be organized. Which is why the best sex I ever had (so far) threw me for a loop.

True Story: I Negotiated How Long My Man Should Go Down On Me




By TJ

“Are you going to cum?” asks my dude of some months, breaking the momentum of going down on me to rub his neck once again.
“Yea. I’m close.”
“You said that 15 mins ago.”
Sigh.
“You can’t have me down here all day.”
“Ok. So what’s the cutoff time?” I ask.
“Hunh?”
“What’s a decent amount of time that you feel comfortable?" I repeat.
“15 no more than 30 mins.”
“That’s plenty!”
“But you already used up 30," he says.
“That can’t be right," I frown.
“You do it all the time.”

Continue

Have You Been Gaslighted During Sex? Chances Are You Have.



By Lauren R. D. Fox

If you’ve ever used mascara by Too Faced called ‘Better Than Sex’ you’ve probably chuckled because in some instances the mascara is indeed better than the unfulfilled sexual encounters some of us have had. On top of engaging in less than satisfactory sex, some of us have dealt with toxic partners who spew false rhetoric about our sanity, needs, bodies or genitals, making us feel small and confused about our sexual experiences. Psychology Today classifies this as gaslighting.

Anger & Sex: How I Channel My Rage Into Sexual Activity


By Devon Mac

Coming to terms with a divorce after 14 years of giving it your all can bring out some anger. Being in therapy and realizing you've been suppressing your emotions for most of your life can also bring out quite a bit of rage. I won't go into all the reasons I am in my current state. What's important is now that I know that I'm angry, what am I going to do with all of it?

"Be angry and sin not" is what I've been taught. Translation: Be angry and don't f*ck up your life or anyone else in the process.

Continue

Stages: The Aftermath of Great Sex...

William Catlett in 'Stages'
By Dawn Washington

While Issa Rae has been gloriously living her year(s) of yes and working the come up, I think we are all looking at our watches to see when we will finally get into Insecure Season 3. I don’t know about you, but it has felt like Cardi B’s foreva waiting for this joint. There has been a bone thrown to us here and here but no firm date as of yet.

Issa was doing her thing well before Insecure shot to fame and had a growing list of productions to her credit before HBO even knew her name. We just may need to roll with these until season 3 hits our screens.

Stages is one of her earlier productions.

Continue

Playing With Fire & Not Getting Burned: Sexual Experimentation w/o the Sex


By Devon Mac

Here's a tale of two break ups:

My brother just ended a serious, year-long relationship just as I was ending a 14-year marriage. What's the first thing we both decide to do? Start dating. Immediately.

What is it about a break up that brings the hoe out of everyone?

It doesn't matter if you had a great sex life or a poor one with your now ex, when it's all over, the first thing many seek out is sex. Rebound, jump off, sex. 

People Praise Virgins But Only If They Fit A Certain Beauty Standard


MC Tokyo Vanity
 By Lauren R.D. Fox

Louisiana female MC Tokyo Vanity, known for her viral hit “That’s My Best Friend,” made her debut on VH1’s Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and caused a bit of a stir on the internet recently. Earlier this season, the 23-year-old New Orleans native revealed she’s a virgin and not ready to “play house” with her boyfriend Tabius. During her confessional, Tokyo explained that she’s not waiting for religious reason nor is she waiting for her wedding night, but instead saving for herself until she is ready to be “knocking them boots” with Tabius or whoever. 

What Were You Taught About 'Adult Films' Growing Up & What Do You Think Now?


By Veronica Wells

To be completely honest, there was a large part of me that balked when it was suggested I write about porn. I’ve enjoyed my fair share of porn (which I’ll talk about later.) But I also remember after one particularly fulfilling session in college, having a That’s So Raven-esque vision of myself becoming addicted to it, watching it every day to the point that it started to interfere with my responsibilities. I saw myself being late to pick my future daughter up from school because I was somewhere getting off. I take my visions seriously and it scared me. So these days I have to stumble across porn, mostly in gif form. And even then, I never linger long.

Reasons You Don't Want Sex & How to Change It

Love Coach & Healer Kamali Minter
By Kamali Minter

There are many reasons we may not be having as much sex as we want, AND there are many benefits to engaging our sexual energy on a regular basis. The good news is there are simple mind-body practices, that can open up a whole new experience of your sexuality, that can make engaging it something to look forward to.

 Continue

That Abortion I Had. 10 Years Later...


By Brittney M. Walker

We are both in college, on track to be the first in both of our families to graduate. We are both virgins. We are both diligent church-going Christians. We both loved each other, but I never admitted this while we were together. I wanted to wait until we were married to have sex. But it was too tempting, sleeping together in the same bed sometimes. We both had cars and this new found freedom as adults. No parents around to tell us no. We spent days and nights together. We knew we were going to be forever. First loves.

Continue

Underboob-Who Wore It Best? Beyonce or Russell Westbrook?


                  Beyonce vs. Russell Westbook

By Solomani

To the left, Ms. Bootylicious-in-chief.
Bee type personality. Fierce.
Velvet curves meet Iron will meet very high heels, she don’t compete no mo.’

Continue

14 Signs You Need To Get Laid


By Julia Austin via Madamenoire

I’m not going to sugar coat this for the single ladies: sex is good for you! Really good for you. It boosts your self image, it sends all sorts of relaxation chemicals through your body, and it’s a nice little reminder that you’re totally desirable. When you haven’t had a play date in the bedroom in a while, your body and brain take a hit! Here are signs you need to get laid and soon.

Is It Possible To Have A Physical Relationship Without Someone Catching Feelings?


By Vince Lake

She said I love you...and I was an asshole. An asshole like that episode of ‘Friends' with Ross when he said I love you to Emily, and she replied, “Thank you.” No, more like an asshole by telling her, “You don't love me.” I tried to dictate her feelings for me when the funny thing is, I hate it myself when someone tries to dictate my feelings. What was I supposed to do? Tell her I love you too? That wasn't happening. I can't reciprocate what I don't feel. I never lie about my feelings, so why should I start now? Embrassas her, I did...but am I an asshole?

Continue

Do Men Feel Entitled To Sex?


By Veronica Wells

A couple of months ago, I was interviewing three women about sex over the age of 50, for my website NoSugarNoCream. During the conversation, the youngest woman in the group explained that she was so thankful that when she’s not in the mood, her husband doesn’t cop an attitude. She said, “A man can be very mean when he can’t get what he wants.” For some reason, the words and the sentiment behind the words stuck with me. There were nods and grunts of agreement from the other two women, and it made me wonder, was this something other women had experienced as well?

A Guide For Dads Who Plan To Have "The Sex Talk" With Daughters


 By Erickka Sy Savané

The other day I was explaining to my 6-year-old daughter why a friend’s dog had been humping her leg, and the next thing you know it turned into a talk about where babies come from. Though I managed to keep it simple enough to satisfy her curiosity, I know that she’ll be back. As I start contemplating what I will say, it occurs to me that unlike my mom who was a single parent and had to have the sex talk with me and my brother, I have a husband. So what part will he play?

Continue

I Saved My Virginity For My Husband And Ended Up With Bad Sex

By J. RENEE XoNecole.com
I waited for this?
That was the thought that ran through my head as my then-husband climbed off of me, unaware of the disappointment that was building up inside. For almost 25 years, I had held on to my prized possession, dodging advances from guys who I knew only wanted to get in between my thighs in hopes of finding “the one” who not only loved it, but loved me too. While many people no longer believe in celibacy and abstinence, I was raised in a family that valued conservative morals and grew up in the church, which often preaches waiting until marriage for sex. I did not really date throughout high school because most boys I met focused on sex, which I wasn’t interested in. I wanted love.
Continue

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

Girls, we need to talk.
Let's start with some facts:

  • There are about 40,000 new HIV infections in the United States each year
  • Even though black people only make up 13% of the population, 45% of ALL of those 40,000 new diagnoses belong to us


Continue

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...