Sorry Ladies, Liking IG Photos is not Shooting Your Shot. This Is.


By Veronica Wells 

Earlier this week, I saw a meme on The Shade Room that didn’t initially strike me as anything special. Usually, I like to go into the comments and check the pulse of the culture to see what people have to say about a certain topic. But with this, I just kept scrolling. Nothing to see there. It wasn’t until I saw my friend like it and then I saw it again on an associate’s page, that I decided to read it again to see if I missed some type of profound truth. Women were actually saying that they consider liking several Instagram pictures in succession to be a form of shooting their shot. 

Chile.

Remember When We Thought the Worst that Could Happen in a Relationship Was Cheating?


By Veronica Wells 

My friend of nearly twenty years was visiting me this past weekend. So naturally, we were reminiscing over our middle and high school years. As she was describing how our classmates’ lives had turned out, she said, “Remember when the worse thing we thought a man could do in a relationship was cheat on us?”

I responded, “Yeah girl. There were only two things. Cheating or hitting us.” 

Cheating Is Nothing New. But is it Worse When Women Do It?


By Veronica Wells 

The following is a true story. There was a Black woman married to an Italian man. Although we never really know what’s going on in someone’s marriage, by all accounts, this was a happy one. The man wasn’t a model but he was kind to her, provided for her and her children, they were taking vacations together. Still, she recruited men from Craigslist for sex. She was very sneaky with it. She would meet them during her lunch hour, while both she and her husband were at work. And judging by the way she told the story and the way she executed her plan, her husband became nothing but a sweet sucker.

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Anyone Buying a Lauryn Hill Ticket In 2018 Deserves Whatever She Gives Them

Ms. Lauryn Hill Courtesy Photo via TheMiamiTimes
By Veronica Wells 

I was in fifth grade when Lauryn Hill’s Miseducation was released. I don’t think I could overstate what that album meant to me. It changed the game for me (I would learn later, so many other young, Black women.)

A year later, during a family reunion—where we ended up in Vegas— I saw that Lauryn Hill was performing there, the day after we would have already left. I stood there on the strip, staring at that illuminated marquee, somehow knowing that I was missing something magical, some once in a lifetime event. As you know, Lauryn Hill is still performing her classic album. But if I wanted to hear what I fell in love with, the best chance of that would have been in 1999.

The Blow-Up on Twitter About Beyonce's 'Natural Curls' Proves We Still Have a Long Way to Go With Our Hair

Beyonce via Neal Farinah IG
By Veronica Wells

I’ll never forget my homeroom teacher Mr. Litz and the thoughts he shared one day about Black hair. In addition to home room, Mr. Litz, a White man, was also my middle school art teacher. And during his explanation of how he recreates Black hair, he told us, his predominately Black class, that Black people’s hair was inherently thin and weak.

I remember us, the Black kids, looking around at each other like, “Ain’t this some sh*t.” But none of us said anything to address his ignorance.

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Are Men Intimidated By Funny Women? Tiffany Haddish Thinks So.

Tiffany Haddish & John Legend
By Veronica Wells

The other day I fell into a Youtube rabbit hole and discovered an interview between Tiffany Haddish and John Legend. The two talked about all sorts of interesting things but one thing Haddish said stuck with me. John asked her: “Do you find guys like women that make them laugh? I have a wife that makes me laugh all the time.”

Tiffany: “I think guys that are confident in themselves, love women who make them laugh. I think guys that are very insecure—which is what I seem to attract— they don’t like it so much. They be cool the first few dates, then they’ll be like, ‘Oh wait, she can control this whole room.’”

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A Man Will Distract You From Your Work...But How Much is Too Much?

Shonda Rhimes
By Veronica Wells 

Shonda Rhimes shared more than a few gems in her memoir Year of Yes. But it was her thoughts on marriage that have haunted me, especially since I'm embarking on marriage within the next few months. In the book, one of the reasons Rhimes says she won’t marry is because she does not want a man distracting her from her work. Mind you Rhimes has three children. But the love she feels for her children overrides the feelings of frustration she might feel if one of them were to need her while she was in the groove of writing. But a man being or causing a distraction to the work she loves and cherishes, she couldn’t rationalize.

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Is a Man Obligated To Take Care Of His Ex...if She's Raising Their Children?


By Veronica Wells

My fiancé loves to say things to get a reaction out of me. And a couple of weeks ago, it was “Steve Harvey gave some good relationship advice the other day.” As much as I try not to respond to these outlandish statements of his, I immediately rolled my eyes. But turns out he was serious. And I had to agree that Harvey’s advice in this particular situation was quite...compassionate.

Is the Man You're Dating Homophobic? Here's How to Find Out

Amanda Seales via her IG
By Veronica Wells

Amanda Seales shares some incredibly interesting stories on her Instagram page. Most of them are told through the lens of activism, but occasionally she’ll sneak in some relationship advice or an anecdote from her own romantic experiences. In one of the more recent ones, she shared why she had to get rid of a f*ckbuddy turned boo after seven years.

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You Can't Pray Someone Else's Prayer to Manifest a Man But You Can Do This...

Actress Yvonne Orji and Emmanuel Acho via IG
By Veronica Wells

Years ago, I was attending a cultural parade downtown. Having reached my limit of human interaction for the day, at the parade’s conclusion, I announced that I would be returning home. This was a deviation from what the rest of the group was doing: following up the parade with an early dinner at a Nigerian restaurant. When one of the women in the group learned that I wasn’t joining them, she tried to persuade me to go.

“You might be missing out on your African Prince.”

When Should a Man You're Dating Tell You He's Expecting a Child?

Dominique Perry & Sarunas J. Jackson
By Veronica Wells 

This week, “Insecure” fans were surprised to learn that Dominque Perry, the actress who played Tasha the bank teller, gave birth to a child fathered by her castmate Sarunas J. Jackson, (the man who plays Dro.)

There was a shock factor associated with this revelation not only because no one would have put these two together but also because there was more than a little bit of drama surrounding the entire situation. When Dominque first shared the news of her pregnancy, she made it clear that she was under the impression that she’d have to go it alone...

Thank God, It’s Meghan Markle’s White Side Of The Family Acting Up & Not Us

Photo via Madamenoire
By Veronica Wells

I’ve tried to avoid the hoopla and hubbub surrounding Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding. Still, the news of the nuptials and her relatives’ responses to them have been all over the news.

It’s hard to avoid.

Should You Attend a Wedding if You Don't Support the Marriage?


By Veronica Wells

I’ll never forget my cousin’s wedding. Not because of the decorations, the food, or the love in the air. Instead, I remember all the signs that pointed to the fact it just wasn’t going to work out. My cousin dropped out of school to marry a man who proved to be bereft of all morals. In fact, some of our family members were the victims of his shenanigans. Still, the heart wants what it wants. 

The day was filled with omens. 

Hip Hop Is Having Its Own #MeToo Moment...But Our Change Might Come Slower

Kelis
By Veronica Wells

For years, I’ve wondered what went wrong with Nas and Kelis. There just seemed to be more to the story. After yesterday, when her interview with Hollywood Unlocked was released, I realized I felt that way because we’d never heard Kelis’ side of it. The singer-turned-chef dropped a bombshell yesterday when she detailed the mental and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her ex-husband and father of her child, rapper Nas.

How Long Should You Feel Shy Around Your Man?


Offset & Cardi B
By Veronica Wells

I find myself enamored with Cardi B Whether I agree with everything she says or does, or not, I’m interested. The other day, Cardi launched an Instagram Live video and invited her fiancé, father of her future child, Offset, to take part in the discussion. I guess she wanted to talk to her fans and her man at the same time.

I didn’t watch the whole thing but for the few seconds I was tuned in, I noticed that Cardi wasn’t showing her full face, and she repeatedly asked Offset not to look at her.

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Fighting Over a Man? You’ll Lose Every Time


By Veronica Wells

The internet is really no different than the rest of the world but what makes it so irresistible is the fact that the shenanigans from all four corners of the globe are collapsed into the palm of our hands. 

This past week, the internet has been discussing a girlfriend who threatened an Instagram model, in her DMs, over the behavior of her boyfriend. The concept sounds crazy. So I’ll just show you. 

Do You Find it Hard to Speak Up for Yourself?



By Veronica Wells  

I think I got my first perm at about five years old. For most children, it’s not exactly the age of rebellion. Instead, it was the age of conditioning and obedience. I was conditioned to sit still and quiet for as long as possible so I could get the best results. And I was a Black child with a Black mother, so obedience was essential for survival.

The idea of speaking up in the chair only became an option when the burning became unbearable.

I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I have a suspicion that our hesitancy to speak up in the salon chairs stems, at least partially, from those early experiences of being taught to be still, to be quiet, to not complain until you felt like you were in real, physical, irreversible danger.

I was reminded of all of those hours I spent in salons, kitchens, and garages converted into beauty shops when I stumbled upon this tweet.

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To Critics Who Feel Tiffany Haddish Is Doing Too Much

Tiffany Haddish & Maya Rudolph (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
By Veronica Wells

There are plenty of Black women America loves that I care for just a little bit less. And while a few close friends and family might know how I feel, I try not to express those sentiments publicly because there are no shortage of people who talk sh*t about Black women. The practice itself is quite profitable, actually.

And while Tiffany Haddish has been America’s new darling for a solid year, there is a sect of Black people who now believe she is “doing too much.” And a few of these people are not afraid to speak up about it.

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Can We Stop Talking About Our Breakup Blessings Like Burdens?

Ashanti
By Veronica Wells

Early last week, I stumbled across a clip of singer Ashanti taking time out during one of her concerts to speak to her audience about her personal life. In a video from the concert, she said:

“See, I just want to make sure y’all really understand what I’m saying. I’ve been betrayed before, publicly at that"

Someone from the audience yells, “F*ck Nelly!”

To which Ashanti responds, “Word.”

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Yay or Nay to Charging Men for Your Number on Dating Apps?


By Veronica Wells

I’ve always thought the conception of online dating was an interesting one. And if I didn’t have such a fear of strangers, it might have been a nice option for me when I was still accepting applications. But that’s not the way the cookie crumbled. And while there are some experiences that I wish I’d had, like swiping or matching with someone who also thought I was attractive, I’ve also heard more than a few horror stories.

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