Iyanla Vanzant
 By Veronica Wells

I’m waiting with baited breath for the day WE tv shows the meet up between Iyanla Vanzant and the Braxton sisters. To put it simply, the Braxton sisters have a lot of things to work out and Iyanla has the type of no-nonsense, honesty that the family could use a lot bit more of. 

For the past few weeks, we’ve been hearing rumblings about what transpired on the season finale of “Braxton Family Values.” Tamar accused Vanzant of sex shaming her after she revealed she was molested by family members. (Vanzant mentioned that she could sue her for defamation of character.) Then, there was footage of Iyanla walking out of the session with the sisters—and their parents. At the time, we didn’t know what that was about. But a new clip from We Tv seems to add a bit of context to the walkout. 

Yay or Nay to Telling Your Friends What Your Man is Working With?


By Veronica Wells

In a lot of ways, I grew up in the “I’ll take your man” era. The sentiment was in the music. Terry McMillan was writing about it in Waiting To Exhale (which I read probably a little too early), and most importantly they were in the warnings from elders. For better or worse, my grandmother was preoccupied with the concept of jealousy and we received more than our fair share of warnings about people who masqueraded as friends but were secretly jealous of some aspect of your life.

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Is It Wrong To Call Your Kids The N Word?



By Veronica Wells

If someone decided to conduct an experiment to determine the most-used word in my vocabulary, I would tell them to save their time and energy. I can answer that question myself. The word is n*gga. I can hear the disappointed groans from those of you who argue that we should’ve buried the word a few years ago. I’ve heard the arguments from folks like Oprah who remind us that n*gga was the last word Black men heard before they were lynched or murdered.

I hear her. The history and pain of it is deep and not to be understated. But the provocative nature of the word just make it that much more alluring to me. Still, there are times when I wonder about its appropriateness.

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Do You Ever Feel Guilty Choosing One Stylist Over Another?


By Veronica Wells

The lore of Black men feeling unhealthy and irrational attachments to their barbers is not reserved only for them. Black women have our own struggles separating from beauticians and stylists who have been doing our hair for some time. I’ve seen women tolerate bad attitudes, ugly styling, stagnant hair growth and even damage for the sake of loyalty…or fear.

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Should You Take the Bed From Your Single Days Into Your Marriage?



By Veronica Wells

From the time I was born until around middle school, my parents had a huge waterbed. I loved this bed. It was temperature controlled so it was warm in the winter and cool in the summer. If you’ve ever slept in a waterbed, you know that they cradle you. We loved our parents’ waterbed so much that they bought me and my sister twin size ones for our rooms. And then one day, the waterbed, my parents’ waterbed was going.

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7 R&B Songs That Sent Toxic Messages About Love & Relationships

Via TheShadeRoom
By Veronica Wells

Earlier this week, Michelle Williams had to let y’all know that even though she’s found a good man who is worthy of love and special attention and privileges, she has no intention of doing all the things outlined in Destiny Child’s hit song, “Cater 2 U.” I was with her. Even during my childhood, I could recognize that the song was a little too extreme. I mean in one of the lines Beyoncé literally says, “My life would be purposeless without you.” C’mon sis. It’s too much. I like to think of myself as a romantic and as a child, with no real world experience in love, music and particularly love songs were my peek, my gateway, my initial exposure to what love could and would be like. And to be honest, more than a few of them sold us some pipe dreams or toxic ideology about love, relationships, sex and dating. Check out just a few offenders below.

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