Relationships and Natural Hair

 by @youfrogirl via

Although I am single, and I think women should feel free to do whatever they want to their hair, regardless of what their partner thinks, I do understand taking his opinion into consideration. In my experience, men don’t really know what they like until AFTER they see it when it comes to hairstyles.

If you are considering returning to your natural roots but you’re not sure how your partner will feel about it, or if you are currently natural and your partner is still on the fence, here are 7 quick tips you can give him to better appreciate your natural hair struggles and triumphs.

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The Power of the Natural Hair Movement on Dating

nik and Dr. Daddy

I received many comments about my natural hair, both positive and negative. For some reason, the latter tend to weigh heavier than the former. Around the time that I started my transitioning process I met someone who became my love interest. My best friend was rocking her curly hair and as he looked at her he was touching my hair. “I really hope that your hair turns out like hers,” he said.

My first boyfriend loved my curls. Back then I was relaxing my hair and occasionally I was too lazy to straighten my hair. To be honest, he was appreciating this laziness since he was able to walk proudly next to his curly girl. He started convincing me that natural is better, since I show the real me to the world. A year after the end of our relationship, I decided to transition my hair. Why? Because I wanted to make sure that this was my own choice.

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by Tewa Muller of ThisGirlsBlackBook

I don’t often write posts dedicated to the partners of naturalistas but I thought it would be a good idea to share some tips on dating women with natural hair. Because no matter how you look at it; we naturalistas certainly have our own ways. Therefore I put together a list with the top 9 things you need to know when dating women with natural hair:

1: YOU and Only you can touch her hair
Her hair is a part of her body. You, as a loving and devoted partner, are allowed to touch it just like the rest of her body. That being said, she probably won’t like it when strangers (your nosy friends, parents or others) touch it without asking permission. Especially not when adding: “Wow. I didn’t expect it to be this soft.”

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CurlyNikki on The Steve Harvey Show- TODAY!

Hola Chicas!

I'll be on The Steve Harvey Show TODAY discussing natural hair and relationships!

Read On!>>>

Clogs, Curls And The Cost Of Love

Thoughts From The Husband Of A Natural

As I admired the speed of the water running down the drain while showering this morning, the Staples ad slogan quickly came to my mind… “that was easy!” I usually unclog the shower drain a few times a year and if you have ever done it you know that the process is quite fool proof. Pour half the bottle slowly down the drain, wait 15 minutes then flush with hot water. If you are wondering why an unclogged drain brought joy to my morning, it’s because I’m the husband of a natural – a curly girl. If you’re the husband to one too, or a natural yourself, you understand exactly where I am coming from.

To many, a clogged drain can be quite frustrating, but a drain clogged because of shedding dead hair is all a part of the process to a natural… and to anyone else who is automatically along for the ride. Well I am one of those people, and rather than be angry at the fact that I am subject to finding hair… well… everywhere. I choose to look at the other side of the comb, at all the great things that I get out of it.
  1. My wife feels great about herself. Ever since she stopped perming her hair and cut off her straightened ends (into a cute little afro I might add), and began the natural hair journey, she really has never felt better about her hair and herself. That makes me feel great. I love watching her try different styles and looks, products and techniques. The new sense of confidence is a great reward.
  2. If she feels good, then she looks even better, and when she looks better that means she gets a lot of compliments on how great her hair looks. And of course when she looks good, I look good lol. There probably is never a day when we are out that someone doesn’t say to her “your hair looks great!”, and that makes me smile to know that someone else notices the time and consideration she puts into maintaining her natural hair.
  3. We have one daughter and another one on the way, so I am hoping that getting all the inside scoop on amazing natural hair products and all the hours of watching my wife do her hair, along with helping to blow dry occasionally should pay off sooner rather than later. I hope I’m paying close enough attention. :-s
  4. Drano is cheap. For less than $10 and 5 mins, I can quickly solve the problem of shampoo suds building up at my feet with no place to go.
So, I’ll leave you with this… They say happy wife, happy life but I say, “Curly wife, happy life”. And if a couple bottles of Drano a year, vacuuming up a little more often and learning all about natural hair care are the only costs… I’m great with that!

- @AndrewCJames

Love and Natural Hair

by Alicia James of EasyNaturalHair

For the month of love, what better time to tell the story of how my husband fell in love with the new me?!  We decided to write this short story together, one part coming from me, and then his personal thoughts on my transition to natural hair.  Enjoy!

Alicia James:

I still remember the day when I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror playing in my hair. I was really intrigued with my new curly coily hair. I looked at my husband and told him how weird I thought my hair was. I started to imagine what it would look like without the straight pieces of lifeless hair. I want to tell you that when I stopped getting relaxers, I didn’t know that meant I was going natural. I had no idea that my natural hair was different from my relaxed hair. I was really confused by the changes happening with my hair. I told my husband how I was thinking about cutting off the straight ends to see what my hair would look like. My husband looked at me, gave me that million dollar smile I love, and said, “Go for it!” He said this over and over again. The finality of it made me a little nervous and I asked him if he was sure! And from that look in his eye, he was very sure! I whipped the scissors out and yes, I started cutting and chopping away at my hair. When I was done, I was left with a teeny weenie fro. I stared in the mirror and honestly remembered an overwhelming feeling of relief. I didn’t know it would feel this way... amazing! Then I also started to think what in the world did I just do? I just chopped my hair off. There were so many different emotions going through me, but I liked it! For some strange reason, I knew things were going to be different. I looked over to my husband, and said “So babe, what do you think?”

Kelly James:

Without hesitation I replied “I love it”! I actually did love it, but deep down inside I couldn’t help but to think what was to come. When I met Alicia she didn’t own a pair of tennis shoes and wouldn’t be caught dead without makeup. I always encouraged her to embrace her natural beauty, relax and enjoy life. Her doing the big chop was a huge step. Before cutting her hair she made several changes and removed many masks that covered her insecurities. My theory is that cutting her hair represented the final mask.

I knew she had either done something that would change her life forever or something she would regret and run to the nearest wig store. During the upcoming months she went through a roller coaster of emotions but as her confidence and strength grew so did her hair. I love my wife unconditionally but seeing her grow to love every aspect of herself made me love her even more.

So, what does the love in your life think about your natural hair?

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