Hello, my name is Kimberleigh Beard. I am 18 years old and am currently 4 months into my transition to natural hair. I write poetry and have been writing poems about my hair lately and would like to share them with the CurlyNikki community. I was born with cerebral palsy which resulted in a limp, low physical capability and a bad stutter. Growing up, I have always battled with low self-esteem and confidence issues. I can not tell you how much my low self esteem has hindered my life farther than my physical disability ever could.

I decided to transition to natural hair after seeing countless people doing it and falling in love with its beauty. My family has not been supportive at all. I recently had to get my hair cut really short because it was damaged from bad braids (knotted up, took out my hair). It seems to me that now that my hair is short, they no longer feel that I am beautiful. My mother told me that by giving up my long hair I am losing my natural beauty.(translation—you look ugly with short hair) –This statement is what made me write this poem.

I really want to go natural. I know that it will be worth it in the end. But, it is so hard without support especially when I don’t have the money or transportation to do it alone. Either way, I am going to continue on this journey… for me!

All my life (spoken word)

All my life
I’ve been what other people thought of me
Never been free
Born in chains
And then I got a whole history behind me
Of bondage
Ancestry—
Never been free
Always the ugly one–
The no fun–
The why can’t you be bright like the sun
Why?–
Cuz out the womb
These20legs didn’t run—
And this voice
Was a jammed trigger–
On a gun
Cuz out of the womb these legs didn’t run—
Grew up surrounded by negativity
Nobody wanted me
Nobody could see what the quiet girl in the corner
could grow to be—
Too many fishes in the sea—
So many quick to flee—
Didn’t want to cut down
The weeds
To get to the flower garden,
But that’s all I am

So I beg your pardon—

I am calm of the sea

After the storm clears
I am the white in the cloud
After the skies tears
I am a wine
I get better with the years===
And oh yea
as a reference to an earlier poem
I am already here—

All my life

Ive been what other people thought of me
Never been free
Born in chains
And then I got a whole history behind me
Of bondage
Ancestry

One morning

I thought to myself
If I can’t be happy
I would be nappy
Actually
I thought to myself
If I believe
That god makes no mistakes
If I believe
Our beauty
Has been covered in drapes
Whipped,
And raped

Put back together and handed to us

Back as shit
Like a doo doo cake

Then I am going to get rid

Of the bullshit
The creamy crack
The no matter how straight your hair is
Your still black
The white girl flow
Even though
You speak with a southern drawl
And stand
Like your missing a toe
Ass tilted to the side
Tilted to the sky
Hips wide
Like shocked eyes.

But its just hair

So who cares
I’m still beautiful
Like to some
I will never be

I’m still beautiful

Like to some I will
Never be

All my life

Ive been what other people thought of me
Never been free
Born in chains
And then I got a whole history behind me
Of bondage
Ancestry


And if life is about the
Aesthetics
Then this will be one hell
Of a journey
For a transitioning
Crippled
Black
And ugly
Sista.