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Curly Nikki

A Lesson Learned- Teaching our Children to Love Their Hair

By January 27th, 202126 Comments

Mechelle submitted the following in hopes that it can help us all to be better role models!


I have been natural for four years, but I have flat-ironed the entire time. I had surgery in March 09 and was unable to get my hair done, so I decided to be truly natural and opted to wear a Twist-n-Curl (TnC). I became addicted! I got more and more compliments with every TnC set. I was almost at the point that I never wanted to go back.

Well, earlier this month I was in my best friend’s wedding and decided to get my hair flat ironed. It had grown so much. Those few months of pampering my hair had really paid off. I enjoyed the straight hair and seemed to get a lot of attention with it. But it all came at a cost.

Yesterday my naturally curly 4-year old daughter asked me to straighten her beautiful, thick curly locks. She has a head of hair many of us would fight for, and she was asking me to make her hair look like mine and the people on the television. I spent the rest of the morning convincing her that her hair was beautiful, much more beautiful than my straight hair. But my husband reminded me that I had been flaunting my straight hair and it may have affected her. My heart was broken.

I then realized that I actually missed my curly mane. It was so much easier than this straight hair that I decided to sport to be in the wedding. I missed the sisterhood I felt when I passed another curly on the street or in the mall. Most of all, I had led my little girl to want to leave her lovely curls behind.

I learned a lesson by getting my hair straightened and it is one that I do not plan to repeat again any time soon. Thank you for helping me learn to love my hair and in turn giving me the opportunity to teach my little girl to lover hers.

Mechelle B.

Baby Girl Tyler

A Lesson Learned- Teaching our Children to Love Their Hair
A Lesson Learned- Teaching our Children to Love Their Hair


  • Anonymous says:

    i see a lot of ppl supporting little girls and their hair, but what about little boys? I don't subscribe to the theory that little black boys should be shaved bald at all times. My guy (21 months) is getting a bit growth on him and it would be nice to get ideas from others on how to style his hair. I can only do twists, coils and freestyles so much! lol

  • twins-n-1mo (Sharon) says:

    So can someone help me help my 11yr old daughter embrace her curls. She see's me with mine but doesn't like hers. What she doesn't like is that you can't see her length. I tell her that isn't important. You know you have long hair, I know you have long hair so what's the problem. She does have some MAJOR shrinkage. But to do twist-outs take forever and only last for a few days because she also has HIH syndrome, (like her mother). LOL

  • Unknown says:

    She's so cute. I don't have kids yet, but there are many impressionable little girls at my church. They are a major reason why I haven't forayed into a blow-out — because I know they are watching.

  • NappySince10/01/08 says:

    this post is just too adorable. i cant stop coming back. i wish there were more comments. seriously, because this was so refreshing to see/hear/read about after that one mess of a video we saw the other day.

    @luvleelox: so true. havent been watching tv lately but the few naturals girls that I do see in the vids i get kinda excited. (i still consider myself a newbie) hey, dont shake your head! lol. It's gotta be a step to have a curly girl or two right? haha. let me stop

  • luvleelox says:

    LOL..oh yeah @ NappySince10/01/08…but the chics in his video aren't…evidence of a double standard but probably a good thing! The more barriers for booty shakers the better!

  • Krystality says:

    Your Daughter is Beautiful and I think it great that you choose lead by example :o)

  • Queenofthe4s says:

    She is just adorable 🙂

    I also have a 4yrd old who is all natural (4b and sandy brown); but he is a boy. We tried locing his hair, but after a few negative comments at school, he actually CUT two of them off his self. It hurt me to see that he felt this way about his own hair, and it took me months of telling him that his hair was wonderful to get him to see that it was fine just the way it grows out of his head.

    Even though we put locing on hold, he still has a TWA and rock his hair in twist- now he thinks he's hot stuff and so do the other kids at school 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    So adorable. I love little girls (prob cause I have one). I think Curly Nikki should devote a post to cute curly little girl hair styles!

  • Unknown says:

    omg she is adorable- too cute! Even though I don't have a child yet, I have consciously spoken to my husband about a similiar topic and hope that he can keep me accountable… nothing wrong with the straight look but I want to teach my daughter (and son) that this look doesn't define/make beauty!

  • NappySince10/01/08 says:

    lol @ luvleelox. Lil Wayne is natural too. He has beautiful locs

  • ljkelly says:

    That little girl is such a cutie! Aww! That last picture just made my night. 🙂 I really appreciated this post.

  • Maria says:

    What a beautiful little girl! Nikki, maybe having a post every once in a while on caring for children's hair will help mom's with curly girl's at home. Just a thought. I have 2 daughters, both natural, and they love their curls. I have taught my oldest DD how to care for my granddaughter's hair as well. I hope the cycle continues.

  • Anonymous says:

    she is adorable! The first pic looks like it could be an ad for a kid's hair care product lol.

  • luvleelox says:

    Your baby is BEAUTIFUL and her hair is gorgeous too! Funny…I just blogged about my daughter's decision to perm AND weave after being natural all of her 16 years of living…as I said, I fought the good fight but lil Wayne won…for now.

  • Jai says:

    She is a cutie. You're never too old to learn from a child!!!

  • TTLOVE218 says:

    She is adorable! I think it is important as moms to show our little girls how to love themselves by showing ourselves love. My mom has locks down to her waist and when she asked me about locking when I told her I wanted to grow my hair long, I told her that part of the reason I won't do it is because I want my daughter to LOVE her curls the way I do and I want her to see that the way she was born is perfectly acceptable and even fabulous!

  • MissCurly says:

    Aww she is adoranle. Uhh too cute 🙂

  • NappySince10/01/08 says:

    let me retract something. it sounded like i was assuming her age. I apologize for that. I love seeing curly girls period. but especially those of and older than I when I got my first perm

  • ClaraHallow121 says:

    Oh my word! She is a doll! I so wish my mom hadn't caved when I begged her to make me look like the girls on tv!

  • NappySince10/01/08 says:

    i LOVE seeing girls with their natural curls, who are atleast the age of when I got relaxed [i was almost 8; 7] I applaud especially the parents and my next prayer is that they keep their wonderful tresses healthy.

    Maybe if she still feels this way, you can tell her about us? We [most of us] are fighting hard to regain what she now has, and wish we never resorted to damaging our hair. Like me, most of us didnt have much of a choice b/c it was the choice of those raising us. Teach her about the possible damage that too much heat and definitely the chemicals, can and will do. Also about how much you missed YOUR curls while you were rockin it straight. You couldn't wait to look like HER again :):)
    Shoot, I wanna look like her too. Im getting sick of my TWA and ready to get my length back [rant] She's too cute. God bless her.

  • Veronica Marché says:

    Omg, she's sooooo adorable. It's good that Mom is ready to instill confidence in this little one, even if it means learning a lesson or two on the way. I have no doubt that she's going to grow up with plenty of confidence in herself and her hair. 🙂

  • Ms. Silky Coils says:

    This little girls hair is absolutely gorgeous. I don't have any kids YET (lol), but I do think this speaks volumes to what we as adults put out for the youth to see.

    I think its great she wants to be like her momma though!

  • BekkaPoo says:

    OMG.. that is a cuteness overload!
    Of course children naturally want to emulate what they see coming from their parental influence. This is the time (before she's in school) to give her the best foundation possible. Once the rest of the world influences her, your word won't be as convincing anymore. I'm happy for your revelation, and I hope that your daughter will have a change of heart and follow your lead.

  • OMB says:

    she's a cutie. I think if she sees herself in this feature, she will feel really great about her hair, especially when you read her all of the beautiful comments that will be posted!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    AW! I love her hair. She is so pretty! Just maybe try and teach her the versatility of her natural hair.

    ~ Diamond ~

  • Suniismom says:

    I am totally with you on this sis! I have a 7.5 yr old daughter, and like yours she has a head full of gorgeous curls. She used to ask for me to straighten her hair before I became natural (last year). Now she loves her curls and mine. She loves stretching and playing with my hair. When she admires the hair of girls with straight hair I just let her know that people would pay big money for the thick beautiful hair that God gave her. The best thing we can do for our children is instill confidence in them so that hopefully they won't have the issues that most of us have struggled with.

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