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Curly Nikki

Naturally Sexy–a Man’s Perspective

By January 27th, 202144 Comments

Naturally Sexy--a Man's Perspective

The piece below was written by Charles, the creator and editor of Me & Everybody Else. Check it out!


I went with my fiancee’ to Victoria’s Secret the other day, and they had an advertisement that read “Natural is the new sexy.”

But Natural is the only sexy that matters. Because truth is the only real beauty.

The word itself, “natural,” is friggin’ marvelous. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and peacefully articulate the word. “Naa-tchu-ral,” it’s like a big silver slide. You climb the ladder on the first syllable and slowly speed back down on the rest. Now try the same thing with the words “false,” “fake,” “sham,” and “phony,” and tell me what childhood toys or playground objects come to mind.

I love natural women, especially natural Black women. Their hair, nails, eye lashes – everything about them. And I don’t have anything against a nice relaxer, or a gentle amount of foundation, but there is something powerful and regal about a natural Black woman. Her hair is the clearest example of this.

Women of other ethnicity’s, their hair falls by nature. It drops, and drapes, and hangs loosely. But a Black woman’s hair rises by nature. It blossoms against the current of life. At its best, it swirls and spins like the earth, or the sun – a supernova of sublimity and strength. And like any other heavenly body, a Black woman’s natural hair demands nothing less than orbit: total praise from every physical thing within her influence, all revolving around her omnipotence – instinctively, humbly, and altogether. Whether dynamically drifting, or stationary and rooted, every living thing that finds itself before a Black woman’s natural hair is designed to stare and wonder.

I’m not hating on a nice relaxer, some woven extensions or wigs, but there is some freedom, sunshine and spirituality in naps. In the waves and the curls. In the nature of our true selves. And to become confident in those things about ourselves that grow without our instruction, move without our control, and progress despite our individual will – to investigate, wrestle with, and master those things about us that just are us – is to reach the pinnacle of sexiness, because who wants to fall in love with a lie?

I want to be in relationship with people who share my courage to courageously be myself. Who have tried and tried again to be their own truths and maybe experienced some shame for it, but got back up and found a way to make their own way. Who still struggle with that truth everyday, but have found peace in the process. Who feel good about being them. Even if their version of them, isn’t what everyone else would like them to be.


Comments, feelings, thoughts…

44 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    INSPIRATIONALLY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!

  • CurlyQueso says:

    I LOOOOOOOOOVE THIS ARTICLE!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    inspirational. [..Black woman's hair rises by nature. It blossoms against the current of life] ♥♥♥itt!

  • Anonymous says:

    There are LOTS of men who love natural black women. However, many of them are other ethnicities. Yup, I heard it too from black men also "in theory" LOL.

    But I actually find what the man expressed above (on a personal level as well as several other black natural beauties, whom I converse with) come from the sentiment of white men also. Check out the positive YouTube raves by white men on black beauty.

    I love who will love me back. :o)))

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    lol @ Maria! Girl you are crazy!

  • Anonymous says:

    it was refreshing to see this article, my boyfriend feels the same way, he loves the way my hair feels and look. Kudos to the gentleman that wrote this article, maybe more women will go natural..

  • Maria says:

    Wow I love this. I should print it out and have my DH read it to me in bed LOL

  • svrbrownsuga says:

    AMEN!!!! I wish more men and women felt this way. Very inspirational 😀

  • Lorrett says:

    Wow! That's amazing to me. I wish every man was that way. It brought tears to my eyes.

  • Shell says:

    This is beautiful. Truthfully, all the men in my life love my natural hair. I have never gotten a bad comment. His words just affirm what I have been always been told and feel about my hair.

  • DivaDr175 says:

    wow! That was wonderful to read. Thanks!

  • OMB says:

    That was eloquently put!!!!

  • NewbieNaturalDiva says:

    Love it! 🙂

  • c. janae says:

    I love it…if only every man felt this way about natural hair!

  • Unknown says:

    Fantastic article. I'm going to share it with everyone I know.

  • Unknown says:

    Absolutely loved it!!

  • Terra D says:

    *Tear* This made me feel amazing! I have always been one that goes for the natural (makeup, hair) just being myself. This was truly inspiring. I LOVE men that aren't afraid to voice their feelings and uplift black women!

  • ChocolateMom says:

    Great article. I met my boyfriend while I was transitioning (long transition during which time I wore braids/twists the whole time). Because of the conversations we had during my transitioning journey, by the time it came for me to begin rocking my natural tresses, I felt confident and supported. I wish more of our brothas, and our community in general, felt this way.

  • Liza says:

    This sounds just like my husband. He loves me in all my natural glory and hates fake nails, hair, makeup, etc…

  • Tish says:

    Absolutely the best explanation of how I feel about wearing my natural hair, skin, nails and lashes! Sexiness shines from within and (no disrespect to those who like to add shine) me being natural in every possible way is the ultimate expression of love and acceptance for myself!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    I loved this article. I wish more men had this view but many times they still like/want 'hair that hangs'. I have a friend who, while he like me, has says my hair looks like a bush and prefers it straight. Of course I don't care what he thinks, I'm going to always be my natural, truthful self.

  • Anonymous says:

    Kudos for this man to freely express himself on this delicate issue. In my book, his words only benefit him. We as women should know who we are without flattery, and the affirmation of others. That's confidence of one's TRUE self.

  • Anonymous says:

    The 5th paragraph blew me away! (Women of other….) AWESOME!

    As for "the reality of what men really feel", well, I can't say, I'm not a man but I believe what this one stated were his true feelings. Why is what was said here so unbelievable? I honestly believe men believe what WE believe; if we feel confident and beautiful, men see us as confident and beautiful. Whether we're relaxed or natural. Period.
    T.J.

  • Moni says:

    I love it! Though he'd never express it like that, my bf feels the exact same way. There's nothing like a man who loves you exactly the way you are. "Truth is beauty" should be his motto. It's when I think I look my worst (no makeup, casual clothing, etc) that he thinks I looks my best.

  • Anonymous says:

    Awesome blog. This will give some sisters extra pep in their step for the day.

  • Sheena LaShay says:

    That sounds just like my boyfriend. He's one of those that likes natural women…all around natural.

  • Anonymous says:

    So beautifully written.

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you for such beautiful words. As a person who is currently transitioning out of her relaxer and doesn't receive a whole lot of support or has people just watching silently, this is a wonderful 'shot in the arm' of confidence, especially coming from a man. Thank you once again.

  • Queenofthe4s says:

    I second what Leslie says 🙂 This is a powerful read!

    At first I thought I was trippin, but I can honestly say that I have had more random men tell me that I am beautiful at the most random moments…pumping gas, walking out of Wal-mart…just random. Nothing has changed about me other than the way I wear my hair.

  • Urban Homeschoolers Of Columbus says:

    That was great! I really do not think that black men have "hang ups" when it comes to natural hair. If anything they don't care how a woman's hair looks as long as it is neat. At least that has been my experience. Black men still approach me, and honestly they still find beauty in me and my hair. Also, it may not have anything to do with my natural hair, but has more to do with my new found confidence that I have NOW that I am natural. I did notice however that I attract a certain type of black man now. I no longer attract "thugs" or "street dudes". I mostly attract a "higher quality" of black men now. Again, it may or may not have to do with my natural hair.

  • Leslie says:

    Well said! This could be the “preamble” to the natural hair “Declaration of Independence” – (lol)

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow that was really breautiful! It encourages me..

  • E_v says:

    That was awesome!

    Thank you!

  • Luvbenet-- says:

    Wow…. I love a black man who loves a natural black woman! So many don't!!!

  • KeetaRay says:

    Awesome!! Thank you for sharing!!

  • Laquita says:

    Wonderful :o) Thanks for shairng.

  • Anonymous says:

    That was awesome! =) Thank you!!!

  • ljkelly says:

    I love it. Thank you for sharing.

  • Anonymous says:

    First, where are men like him hanging out? No, not men that just say they like natural hair, but rather men that want/have a natural-haired bella on their arm.

    Second, his article makes sense in theory. But, in reality I’ve observed something totally different. At present, I think it’s of-the-moment for men to say they love women that rock the fro. However, when it comes down to choosing a mate, the majority of men (Black men in particular) opt for women that sport the Eurocentric-like tresses. Just take a look at the Black couples in Hollywood (not the best example, I know, but notably the most recognizable example). How many of the black females in Hollywood are sporting their natural hair? Bingo!

    I truly hope this preference towards natural hair is more of a trend and not a fleeting fad. We shall see…

  • Unknown says:

    POWERFUL.

  • LBell says:

    That was lovely. Some women will really get a boost from reading this today.

  • Gigglz says:

    Love it. After seeing, Chris Rock's "Good Hair" documentary it brings to mind that black men actually find that not being able to touch a womans hair is a lack of intimacy and being natural allows for them to connect with us. How vanity can cause a lack of intimacy..good to hear a man embrace natural!

  • Anonymous says:

    I love this! Especially the quote "Truth is the only real beauty." I put that on FB this morning.

  • naturalcurls says:

    what an affirming way to start the morning!

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