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Curly Nikki

On the Couch with Shawn

By January 27th, 202114 Comments

Shawn shows us that grass is always greener…

On the Couch with Shawn
Hi Nikki-

Just wanted to drop a note to say what a lovely and helpful website you have. I found it quite by accident- researching something else- and after much reading was shocked to find how complicated beautiful hair can be!! The women featured on your website, including yourself, have some of the prettiest hair I’ve seen!

FYI–alot of people would trade body parts to have hair like that, men and women!!

That’s why we subject ourselves to perms and thickening products and rollers and extensions and wigs and countless hours of tears and frustration. Maybe surprising, but far more common than one might think- how many times a girl stayed home after primping for hours, because her hair was just too flat or the curl fell out right away (I have!) More than one girl has skipped prom at the last minute because she ruined her makeup and possibly her dress crying herself sick- because she hated her flat, uncooperative hair!! (I didn’t, but I knew 2 girls who actually did… took ages for the truth to come out…something about food poisoning or starting a period…).

A compilation of many different backgrounds- German, English, Native American, Black Irish and then some …I have unfortunately gotten the absolute worst in terms of hair. It is super fine…stick straight, and slippery silky to the point of—agghhhh looking like a wet baby chicken with no blow dryer or product. Gross!! It won’t even hold a perm!! With all this fabulously diverse genetic background- how in the world did I wind up with such awful hair? (Thanks Dad….thanks a lot!! he has it also, we are the only ones in our family to have such yucky hair.)

Our family calls it fine, raspy, or downy (the baby chicken reference…) or hat hair. You have to put a hat on it because nothing can be done with it. That’s why my grandmother always made me wear a hat to church as a child……..she had great hair and I did not and the embarrassment was just too much. Who knew??? I thought it was to be fashionable, until once I overheard a conversation amongst the grownups about what a pretty little girl I was, but what in the world could we do about my hair? OUCH! Scoot over girls, make room on the lovely red couch!

After being the butt of many jokes throughout my lifetime (You know your hair sucks when white people make fun of it, particularly your family!!) and equally as long a time that I can remember suffering from a terrible, incurable case of the worst hair envy ever, I feel a little better. Thank you for that!!

Not because other women have hair issues that make them uncomfortable, misery doesn’t love company in this case and even the meanest girl wouldn’t wish awful hair on her worst enemy if she had one, but because reading your website has given me a fresh perspective on being grateful and accepting of what I have (or don’t have…).

I appreciate very much the insight and the lesson on what beauty and esteem truly mean!

Best Regards and lots of love,

Shawn Allison Norton

On the Couch with Shawn
About the pictures: A dear friend took them for fun and at first glance, they look great, but the story behind is that the make-up only took 15 minutes- the hair took hours of back-combing and upside-down blow drying and more product– many tears and touch-ups –that was the best we could do- it was like cardboard and a miracle that I had any left after all that. (If I remember correctly, there were a few tracts in there for volume- still no help)
It fell as soon as I got out of the chair!!

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  • Anonymous says:

    Great story,i love her sense of humour.It goes to show that al women have hair drama! a 100% LOL

  • Anonymous says:

    Shawn, where are you now? A person from Memphis State is curious.

  • Cho Kawaii says:

    my sister in law is half Mexican and half white and she is top of the worst hair ever list right along with Shawn. Her hair is extremely thin but curly at the same time. so you can see her scalp through her hair. It also takes forever to grow and she hates it! she's been growing her hair out for 3 years and it's barely past her shoulders.

  • Maria says:

    Awww! Family can be so mean sometimes. Sorry you had to hear all that nonsense. People say "its just hair" but the reality is its not that simple. Thanks for sharing.

  • Richelle says:

    Thanks for bringing a different perspective!

  • Bobby Brown says:

    This is some insight. If I saw her around I would never think twice about her hair. Her hair looks like most people's to me.

    Again people need to stop listening to what other people tell you should be like. Be you! Even with "wet baby chicken hair"!

    The quick fix is not always the best fit.

  • Shelly says:

    Just goes to show that we are not the only one with hair drama.

  • Eleven35 Bath & Beauty says:

    This is a good insight of how we look at each other culturally…I appreciate her hilarious insight.

  • Cygnet says:

    It's heartbreaking the things families can do to us about something that is so integral to the way we look. I'm sorry Shawn experienced such negativity over her hair from the people closest placed to teach her about how to perceive and accept herself. I hope this is a lesson to those of us so placed in the lives of other children.

    Sometimes the best thing one can do with hair that has a mind of its own is to let it speak and be itself, see to its health, and be glad it's up there. If Shawn and I were girlfriends, I would encourage her to treat it with the same love we lavish on our hair by learning which products work best on her fine, silky hair, either find a cut or grow out enough for an updo that shows it off to advantage, and get her downy super-chick on! Best Success to her in making happy peace with her hair and herself, and thanks for posting.

  • Anonymous says:

    That was a great read, made me laugh. She's great!

  • Jae Manolo says:

    Great read 🙂

  • O.A.Eddy says:

    I enjoyed reading that. It just shows that we have to love ourselves the way we are

  • Anonymous says:

    Enjoyed reading this piece.Thanks for sharing, Shawn.:-)

  • Anonymous says:

    Love this insight by Shawn, it goes to show that people must indeed have confidence cause no one texture is better than the other. You make the best of it and keep it moving, "it's only hair" and should never define you"!!!

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