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Curly Nikki

On the Couch With Ylonda

By January 27th, 202116 Comments
The lovely Ylonda writes:

On the Couch With Ylonda

Finally it’s time for me to sit on the therapists couch! It’s been a long time coming. My journey to becoming natural has really been amazing.

In 2006 I witnessed very long hair growth after having my child. I never was the type to go to the beauty shop and get relaxers. I was in the Army and pretty much did my own relaxers and put my hair in a bun on a daily basis. When I left the Army in 2006 and came home, I really didn’t know what to do with my hair. I’m the type that loves to style everyone else’s hair but my own. During that summer I decided to change birth control pills. The beginning of 2007, I noticed some changes. I seemed somewhat depressed, and I had harsh breakouts. One day after washing a relaxer out of my hair, I noticed strands of hair falling out of my scalp. Literally I could pull hair and it would fall out in the sink. I was horrified. After researching the birth control pill I switched to, I found out that many women had the same reaction. Most of my hairline on the sides and front were thin. Almost half the back of my head had suffered hair loss. I decided to go the beautician for the first time in years. The beautician informed me that she would have to shave my hair in the back because it was basically gone. I had never worn a shaved style and I couldn’t believe my hair was gone. After this I started wearing half wigs, quick weaves, and sew-ins. I was really depressed about losing my hair. I had stopped relaxing my hair back in 2007 but never really did anything to it since it was always hidden under weave. Finally around May of this year, I decided to just cut my relaxed ends off and just grow my hair out. I have a 4 year old daughter and I always suspected we had the same hair type, and wanted it to be that way again.

On the Couch With Ylonda

About a month ago, I began researching natural hair and decided to really take my hair seriously. A lot of my sorority sisters have decided to throw away the relaxer and they’ve been my support system. My boyfriend told me I would look good bald so I knew he would be okay with whatever I decided. My family wasn’t as supportive. When I told my mom about never relaxing my hair again she said something about me looking like a slave. One of my sisters asked me did this mean I would start writing poetry. I received a lot of negative feedback but 2 weeks ago I decided to just be free. I threw away any type of weave I had laying around, I was broke so this meant I couldn’t decide at the last minute to run to the beauty supply and buy any. I had work the next morning and I had to work with what I had. I will admit I was nervous but after being on YouTube and reading the stories on I was ready.

My first hair style was a twist out. It was okay for my first time ever experimenting with my hair. I had ordered the Bee Mine’s curly mustard. It moisturized okay but when I woke up, my hair looked oily but felt dry and I had lots of frizz. I’ve been doing updos, trying to get my professional look on! My co-workers loved my hair and kept coming into my office trying to figure out how I was able to “get my hair like this.” Since then I’ve been researching different products and trying to find out my hair type. I recently tried to curl my hair on rods and was pleased.

This journey has really been an emotional one. I never knew about all the insecurities I had with my hair and my looks in general. At first I felt naked to the world and that I was exposed. I’m working on my third week of wearing my natural hair and I absolutely love it! Sometimes I get tired of dealing with my hair and wish it was different…..longer…curlier…etc… but I’m growing everyday! The negative comments from my family still bother me at times but yesterday my 4 year old daughter told me she wanted her hair like mine and at the point I realized just how important it is to love myself and to be secure with the way the Lord made me.

On the Couch With Ylonda


  • Anonymous says:

    I am almost in tears reading your story because so many of the emotions you have struggled with are mine. Please know that you are a beautiful woman and that you look GREAT! For me one day I looked in the mirror at all my curly wonderfulness with awe and said to my reflexion wow you are beautiful. After that day I have never looked back, and I don't miss my hair being straight ONE BIT. Be blessed! 🙂

  • prt says:

    I just love your hair texture and the styles you are using; you look striking. I just started to go natural and I'm so happy I'm doing it; I feel so free. Reading your experience and seeing your pictures encourages me to continue. You're doing the best thing for you, your daughter and so many onlookers who may be encouraged to walk the same path. It's time to show our daughters how beautifully we are made. The only way to confirm that is by wearing our hair the way God created it. Thanks for sharing.

  • Heather says:

    Hey YLonda! You are gorgeous inside and out. I'm happy to know you. Keep doing you — natural and fabulous. I look forward to seeing more of your styles!

  • Fleurzty says:

    Your hair looks gorgeous, and the harder the trials the greater the victory. I truly enjoyed reading your story. This is week 3 of a lifetime of beautiful hair for you 🙂 Fleurzty.

  • Anonymous says:

    You and your hair are gorgeous!

  • Anonymous says:

    Very nice, hang in there girl, u have the best fan club of all, your husband and your daughter a source of great encouragement. GOD BLESS.-Melinda.

  • Steph302 says:

    Your hair is lovely. Very impressive for just a couple weeks of practice!

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm loving your up-dos too! We need some shots of the back! 🙂

  • YLonda says:

    Thanks for the compliments. I agree CurlyNikki's website has helped me alot. I was on a search for information and support and found it.

    I'm happy to help anyone. My updos happened by default. My hair is thick and being a newbie sometimes I get tired, plus my hair takes forever to dry so when I'm trying to get ready for work its a quick style for me. The back is braided in about 7 cornrows going up and depending on the style the ends are either twisted or on rods.

  • ChocolateOrchid says:

    Your up-do's are gorgeous and so are you! I would love to read/see some How-To's from you.
    And sorry to hear that your family wasn't supportive (I can relate). But I am happy that you are doing you.

    You do you so beautifully. =)

  • Beads, Braids & Beyond says:

    She is gorgeous and her hair is beautiful!!

  • CurlyGurl says:

    Yolanda, Thanks for shairing your journey. Like they say, we are not our hair. Keep loving yourself and you will find you feel good about yourself natural or not. I am inspired everyday by you and all my curly sisters on this site. Shout out to Curlynikki for creating something that I feel very much a part of.

    God Bless!

  • Unknown says:

    You look great! It's sad what hormones can do to us when we think we're using them specifically for just ONE thing! I suffered hair loss like that (hair literally), but it was severe stress. I didn't even get my hair cut, it had fallen out so badly to the point where it looked like I had gotten a buzz cut, but that was really how my hair fell out! I stopped relaxers like you and let things slowly grow back out, but I went back to relaxers when my hair was long again. I now know better, I'm never going back to a relaxer and I'm glad you made it through your journey! It's a tough one and you stuck it out.

  • YLonda says:

    Thanks everyone! Its definitely been a journey already! I've only worn my hair out for a couple of weeks!

    I wasn't expecting a lot of things being said to me, good and bad. But I do believe at this point in my life everything is working towards a greater good. Just getting to a point where I love everything about myself and can be free:)

  • Anonymous says:

    Your hair is beautiful! My sister and a very good girlfriend were negative about me wearing my hair curly. I had been natural for a few years, but always wore my hair flat ironed, but you know what helped me, it was something that I wanted to do and my husband was my biggest supporter and I have a girlfriend that introduced me to CN! Your hair will grow and as you continue to experience styling your hair, you will fall in love with it and yourself! Keep doing you!


  • Claudia says:

    Girl, you look slammin'. Don't let anybody put you down, you are a beautiful woman and are rocking that natural style like nobody's business!

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