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Curly Nikki

Natural Hair and Imminent Frustration

By January 27th, 202169 Comments

Natural Hair and Imminent FrustrationMarnettebelle writes:

I notice that many curlies go through phases of frustration with their natural hair either early on, or later down the road.

We’ve all been there… when your hair isn’t acting right, your holy grail products stop working, you reach an awkward length, or you’re doing everything ‘right’ and reaping ZERO benefits. Next thing you know, you’re thinking of reaching for the scissors or even the creamy crack!

What do you do to combat the negativity you are feeling? How do you turn that negative into a positive to continue your journey?


  • Evette says:

    First I would like to say I am grateful for this website. Thanks to the owner and all of you ladies. My story is, I went natural two months ago. My biggest fustration is SHINKAGE. I wish it was a way to show my true lenghth. My hair looks so much shorter than what it actually is.

  • JaidaLenae says:

    I just started maybe last moneth and my hair gros pretty fast [maybe month before] but im frustrated already, i didnt do the big chop…so im letting it grow out…im craving weave so bad cause its frustrating…but i wish my mom never started me on perms so since im 19 the perms are gone…transition is so hard though love -New Beginner lol ^_^

  • Meli says:

    Frustration is my cue to use low manipulation and give me and my hair a break. So like many people have mentioned I either do a protective style or get twist extensions for an even longer break. After awhile I'll start missing my hair and the excitement to style will be back. I'll also be really excited to take them off to see new growth! I just got some twist extensions with a light brown hair color (which I've been thinking of coloring my hair to) and I'm loving it! Just make sure to continue moisturizing and deep conditioning.

  • Anonymous says:

    Whenever i get frustrated, i tend to miss my TWA. So i look through my hair journal, notice the huge progress and think about having to go through the whole journey again if i cut it off. Brings things right into perspective i tell ya.

    Sometimes i get tired of manipulating my hair everyday. It's not frustration, i just want to let it be. In that case, i put it in braids or some sort of protective style :)

  • Anonymous says:

    Whenever I'm feeling frustrated I just tell myself that it'll be worth it later on, and that keeps me from picking up some scissors or a flat-iron. I'm transitioning from heat damage and it can be really frustrating when I can't really wear my hair out, or when certain styles (twists) don't hold.

  • Kanisha says:

    I just big chopped on June 6 and I LOVED my TWA at first! I was so excited to manipulate it and try new things.

    Needless to say, it's only been a month and I'm sick and tired of this TWA! (I'm a very fickle person as it is). I no longer have any interest in dealing with this little hair. I want longer hair! I can't even lie. I miss having longer hair :(

    I'm getting Senegalese twists this weekend and leaving them in for two months to help time pass by faster. I might get them off and on for the rest of the year!

  • Peaches says:

    I have been frustrated for a while now. I've been natural almost for two years but I still havent found what products work well with my hair, what to use to get my curls to pop, or just what to use to keep my hair from getting dry during the day. I've tried doing two strand twists with a fail and I know I've maybe picked up every product I can find that has "curly" on it. I won't go back to perms but I just wish I knew what to do.

  • BekkaPoo says:

    I'm in the land of frustration with my hair these days.. it seems like it's just not behaving or happy, therefore making ME unhappy. I'm probably just going to get it cut.. this growing out stuff is for the birds!

  • Dominique says:

    I reached this point on Friday when I realized that my move from Detroit to Houston has taken the worst toll on my hair. I had to get 1.5 inches cut off my hair and I just had my hair trimmed at the beginning of the month. I'm about two seconds from just cutting it off. It's a little past my shoulders now, but I feel like I'm starting over. I have to find different hair products to use in this Houston humidity. Last time I had this problem was when Nexxus switched its formula. That was devastating since I had used their products since I was child.

  • Neems says:

    When I start to get irritated with my hair I plan a 'Me Day.' Basically, I pamper myself, with a long hair washing session,deep condition, do my own pedicure and manicure and then browse the blogs/watch tv while looking for new styles to try. Then I just get started and do my hair. Usually a TnC do the trick.

  • diamondcurls says:

    To the poster looking for a natural salon, I am in the DC area and highly recommend my salon if you are willing to travel. At least they could start you on your way until you find a salon in your area. Send me a message if interested. My screen name is diamondcurls.

    Now as to the question at hand, I believe in the bun BIG TIME. It's my staple right now because my hair just figured out that I decided to go natural and has lost its mind. LOL!! Until it gets itself together, it's bunning all the way. I am hoping as the summer heat kicks in, my hair will give me a better clue as to what direction to take.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hello everyone,

    I really need some help. I've been natural for about 6 yrs. But for the last 3, I've had my hair in locs. I recently unraveled my hair and I have a lot of split ends and its dry… Please help me with any suggestions regarding types of conditioners that work well with 4B type hair… Also, I live in the Hampton Roads area in VA. I am having a hard time finding a natural hair salon. I've look online and came up empty handed, please help if you know of any salons in the surrounding area. I'm willing to drive to Richmond, VA to find someone good to get my hair in shape.

  • Anonymous says:

    This topic came right on time…my hair has been acting crazy for the past 2 weeks….it was dry, brittle and not responding to any of my staple products i was using….all of a sudden today it wants to play nice and come out great…i can't win…..

  • Esther Griffith says:

    I go to my favourite blogs for encouragement… :D

  • SoStasea says:

    Ditto ladies! I am going through some "ugh" times right now. lol. BUT I am happy to say that no matter how frustrated I get, I will never ever EVA get a perm again. Perm for my fine strands = lifeless hair.

    I have 4a and 4b fine coils and have been natural for a year in February. I loved the whole process of doing the BC and discovering my coils was amazing. I rocked all kinds of headbands and hair jewelry, with primarily one strang twists. I founds all kinds of great products. Then, around my year anniversary I decided to blow dry it just to do a length check. It had grown so much and I was like heeeey this cute!! I started wearing it out way too much and after just a couple months I could see the results. ALL BAD. My ends were a mess. I have a weird slow growth/breakage spot in my crown and I just wasn't giving her the TLC she craved I guess and she revolted! I put braids in in March and now I'm wearing kinky twists with extensions. I made a vow to keep the twists all summer. I had to chop a good 1/4 – 1/2 inch of my severly knotted, straggly, thin ends this weekend. But I'm gonna push on! You just have to pay close attention to what your hair likes and dislikes. I am dedicated to healthy hair for life :-)

  • b. says:

    My answer? A deep conditioner. Pamper the hair and take time to pamper yourself and your hair. And peruse the on-line natural hair circuit. Helps me most of the time.

  • Unknown says:

    I agree with Ash. Permed or natural – there were/are days my hair just wants to do it's own thing no matter how hard I try to talk her out of it.
    What can you do? I throw her into a bun, put on makeup, nice earrings and outfit and avoid the mirror. After a while, you forget YOU feel like a mess and all of a sudden compliments come. That or no one is even paying attention : )
    Tomorrow is a new day..
    If I run out of ideas – I just try different styles posted on various natural blogs.
    It all turns out well in the end.

  • Shell says:

    I have been natural for so many years now. I get into fits of frustration at times.
    What helps me is to watch you tube videos and hear what products a lot of sistahs are using.
    Also to buy a lot of hair accessories to refresh how my hair looks to me.

  • Anonymous says:

    To Anonymous at 8:46 pm:
    You can find black soap and some butters at I found out about the site from THIS website, as a matter of fact. Thanks again, CN!!!
    As far as what I do whenever I get frustrated with my hair, I look at old photos of myself when I was relaxed and notice that my hair has more versatily now than back then. The only style that fits that emotion happens to be a loose, messy bun. I also experiment with the products that I have to keep bordeom at bay. Peace.

  • Anonymous says:

    Salutations Everyone,
    Re: What I do when I'm frustrated with my curly head (step away from the scissors)
    1. Look at all the beautiful natural hair pictures (not weaves – took me a while to realize that not all afros are real) of women I admire and remember my personal hair goals
    2. Give my hair a hot oil treatment and conditioning treatment (pamper my hair with oils – olive, coconut, avocado, shea, almond, jojoba; butters – shea; make concoctions, etc.)
    3. Go to the Curly Nikki's website, Chicoro's Fotki, and / or refer to my notes from Chicoro's book to help me stay focused on identifying a process that is right for my hair and accepting the fact it is going to take time, trial and error. I remind myself that it is worth it, I'm worth it, and this to shall pass.
    4. In addition, I try to remind myself that this is the first time in my life that I am actually learning the true texture of my hair and I want to get to know the true me.
    5. Re-evaluate my current hair routine, diet, and stress level to develop a new plan (DONT GET DISCOURAGED BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR HAIR NEEDS TO BE HEALTHY)


    P.S. Products that work for other people might not work for you and vice versa. I used a product recently that I loved, but it made my eyes and ears itch. Due to the sensitivity of my skin, I can only use certain products and prefer organic. I love Aubrey Organics (buy online at Lucky Vitamin), Oyin (Curlmart – Oyin company even emailed me to tell me about their fragrances and I am able to use them without being concerned about my skin), & Kinky Curly (Whole Foods). At this time, I am still interested in finding fair trade butters and African black soap. STAY CURLY ~

  • Anonymous says:

    Dear Anonymous at 3:24pm. Don't be scared! Please be encouraged. I posted earlier at 09:10 today, and I want to tell you I BC'd twice by not accepting that I was 4b. I messed up my precious growth by rough handling, dry combing, and improper detangling. After finally screwing it up with a texturizer, I see it will be a struggle for me unless I accept what I have on my head. Creamy crack is a helluva drug…

    True success is HEALTHY HAIR, no matter how long or short, how curly, coily, or kinky it is. If you are TWA now, please learn the coil type and porosity level of your hair. I wasted so much PJ time and money on products for 3c hair.

    Please read 'Suburbanbushbabe Speaks' under the TOPICS tab at right. It helped me!

    Be blessed!

  • Anonymous says:

    47 comments? gosh you guys are scaring me. I'm a twa now and all 47 of you are frustrated with your hair? kind of disheartening. but at least I know whats around the corner for me….

  • Unknown says:

    I am going through hair frustration as well. I have been completely natural for 21 months now and I am disappointed with my hair. I got a trim at the end of January because I hadn't trimmed since my BC in Agust 2008 – so it was time. Because of my frustration and a longing for somethign different I got a blow-out and the girl tells me I need my ends trimmed badly!!! Are you kidding,I just got 2 inches cut just a few months ago. I checked my ends and the gilr is/was right! How could I have raggedy ends and splits already? My hair was never like this when I was relaxed.

    I'm so dicouraged right now. I am truly on the verge of texlaxing my hair and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have been trying to hold on because I know how my hair could look in about another year or so, but man. It's getting rough and I'm getting tired.

    …and it doesn't help that i've been getting hella compliments on my blow-out hair. *sigh* Not sure what to do now……

  • Anonymous says:

    Those are great questions. I am at the point of extreme frustration. I am done with transitioning, my hair is long and THICK. But I am so tired of twisting it into submission, or detangling the nest. Some days I am this close to whipping out the blow dryer and flat iron. In no way is natural hair any easier than relaxed. I feel like a child learning how to style its own hair (where often times it turns out all types of wrong :)

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm there right now, today! My hair is growing, but you can't really see the length. I tried to lengthen it last night by doing a cowash, putting it in big braids for a few hours, and then going back and doing two strand twists. This morning when I got up, I took the twists down and my hair was too straight, so I ended up putting it in a puff. I really don't want to do a puff all summer, but so far, that's the only style that works for me in a pinch. I'm too lazy to try flat twists and cornrows. I'm going to try to start doing something to the front so that I won't get too bored.

  • Olivia says:

    Sometimes, I just have to put it in a protective and just sit it out for a little while. If all else fails, I can usually pick it out and rely on my puff to at least look ok until I can figure something else out. Even in those times that I am frustrated I still get complimented on my ingenuity and hair style choices so I can at least find some comfort in that. Being natural can be a tough experience sometimes but I have to remember that it really is worth it.

  • Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately I succombed to the "creamy-crack" in April after transitioning for a year. I was so frustrated with the mid-strand splits and single strand knots (yes – I was abusing my poor hair by combing while dry and not sealing the ends).

    The stylist applied a texturizer and the results were horrible. Some sections came out straighter than others, and the whole thing looked a limp frizzy mess. I was 4b with some 4a mixed in. I asked her to cut it off. Ugh!

    Sad to say, last week I started 'jonesin' again. I thought it'd be ok if I texturized it to "even up" the textures on my hair. I'm so glad I didn't have that old tub of Mizani on hand!

    So instead, I applied some ORS hair mayonnaise as if I were applying a relaxer, and OOOH BOY did that help with the withdrawal symptoms! If it happens again, I'll go back and try the ORS-HM. Hope this helps you!

  • Namun says:

    I reach for the bottle of olive oil, coconut oil and mix in some sweet almond oil with my conditioner and let my curls soak it up. I found that a good deep conditioning treatment helps to get my hair back in shape.

  • Jon Gillam says:

    If you are not using the natural hair product then you may have to be aware of that. Natural hair product is the best for natural hair growth

  • Anonymous says:

    I am a current transitioner, so I get frustated all the time with my new and old hair. However, I try to think about the biger picture. I look at pictures of hair idols and I feel inspired again to not give up and proceed with my journey. Also, being on helps too. lol

  • Anonymous says:

    When I get tired of my hair, I just wear it pulled back in a puff. I am lookinf for something else, but that is what I do so far.

  • Anonymous says:

    To keep from cutting, and relaxing it, I opt for a straight style, using a ponytail rollerset. I'll usually lightly flat my roots and then just wrap at night. The change does me good, and soon I'm craving my curls again.

  • Jeannette says:

    Thank goodness I never went back to the creamy crack! What I do is try something new. Something new can be a style I used to wear years ago and haven't worn in a while. I go to YouTube to see what the girls are doing with their hair. I Google natural hair styles to see what comes up or even buy natural hair books. Something new can actually be a new style. I try to do something that is new at that time in my life. And if all fails, I pay a professional to help me come up with something that is all new and all natural.

  • Anonymous says:

    I return to protective styling when I get frustrated with my curlies. I was feeling this was for awhile recently and last weekend I spent 4 hours tranforming my curlies into small two strand twists all over my head.

  • Kea::Curls says:

    throw in some two strand twists = protective style +++ opportunity to clip my ends (which are probly the reason my hair's acting up!) +++ the only time I really stretch my hair to see its growth = reminds me that its all worth it!

  • Sweet LD says:

    Great question! I'm at that stage now, so I'm trying different hairstyles such as the TNC and BNC. I haven't perfected either, so it is very frustrating. I've had the same hairstyle since I've pretty much started my journey in 2006. I'm interested in what other curlies do to assist with the hair blues.

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow! I'm there now. Came to CN to get ideas on what to do with this head of mind. I'm tired of twist outs and afros. I'd like to try a braid out, but I try not to experiment in the middle of the week. Bad hair days at work are not good. I have bc'd every summer for the past 3 years, I've been natural for 4 years. I want to be committed to growing my hair this time. I love the long hairstyles. So I'm hanging in there. Good to see everyone else has hit this point at one time or another. Thanks CN for posting!

  • M says:

    I hide mine for a while… get some braids or twists, and then like the first poster said, I start to miss my hair, and I let it back out again :) I'm at a length right now where my fro is getting fluffier than ever before, and I can barely grab my hair into a ponytail. This is the first time I've had my hair in a fro (out) in months. I'll probably hide it away soon just to avoid getting lazy/not treating it nicely/getting tired of it. I feel like at some point, even with straight/relaxed hair, you always get tired. (I've threatened my hair with scissors and the creamy crack so many times! lol.)

  • ShakLand says:

    To Anonymous (the 17 yr old) – have you considered wet set braid outs or twist outs? And if you want it straight, how about a blow out at a Dominican salon? Both my sister and I are natural but we are 2 totally different beings, lol – she either flat irons or gets blow outs (because she doesn't like big hair – I can't even get her to blow dry and go, she likes it pressed!), and I love big hair (I just like to have a bit of control over it). Whenever I have pressed my hair in recent years, I like it for about a week (sometimes just a day). I suggest checking out some videos on youtube for styling tips, and also look into updo styles and using accessories to enhance your style. Good luck with everything!

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow this post came a day to late for me :-(. I Big Chopped for the 3rd time in January and have been growing it out. I am 35 weeks pregnant and don't know what i want to do with my hair. Yesterday I got frustrated and chopped all my hair off again. Im loving it yet at the same time mad i lost my little bit of progress.

  • Anonymous says:

    i need help with this!! im currently 17. i transitioned for abt a year. and jus got my big chop in.. april.. my hair is growing super bad.. way past a twa.. but ..ugh.. wen transitioning .. i used the flat iron sometimes and one portion of my hair is absolutley straight.. while the rest of my hair is beautifully curly and natural.. i kno it is heat damaged.. but i dont kno what to do.. i cnt cut it because.. well one side of my head will be long curls and the other will be short short short curls.. someone plz help me get my curls to revert!!! :(

  • ShakLand says:

    About 6 months ago I did the craziest thing – I bought some kiddie perm and put it on the ends of my hair. I was so angry because I just couldn't get the ends to "stay", and I was always trimming. I don't know WHAT I was thinking. Then about a month ago I chopped off about 3 inches from the 7 inch length it was at (it started off as a trim and it ended up like a session with a scissor-happy stylist). Now I have had to get used to a TWA – which was very startling to me. I've done 2 braided hairstyles in the past 3 weeks, now I have them in twists with extensions (luckily I do my own hair so I save a lot of money!).

    I love my unpermed hair, always have. The only reason why I got a perm when I was 12 was because my mom was exhausted trying to do my hair (which was shoulder length, and very very thick). Now, with dealing with staying true to myself while navigating thru corporate America, I just have to not have those moments where I take a scissors to my hair like I did (luckily I took a photo so if I get the urge, I'll look at it to stop myself).

  • kiaramommy says:

    I just BC on 2/17/2010 and I only transitioned for four weeks so my TWA is only an 1 1/2 inches . I have gotten frustrated and cut back to a number2 guard three times but am now committed to seeing just how long and thick my natural hair gets. Even-though my edges don't have a curl pattern and look like cotton I am gonna embrace it. When I have a bad hair day I use head wraps but, I look forward to being able to get kinky twist soon.

  • Lori says:

    I haven't exactly gotten to the point of giving up. It will be a year in June from the time I went natural. September will be a year for my last haircut. I'm at approx. 3.5 – 4 inches all over. I have finally "mastered" the wash-n-go, almost settled on "holy grail" items (still testing a few products), and I am comfortable with my TWA.

    My problem, if at all, is that I'm just tired of a TWA. It's not a negative, though. When I had a relaxer I wore my hair exactly the same way every day, so that's not a viable complaint for me. With a TWA I can do much more, it's just that I don't care for how twists, braids, and similar styles look on me. So my frustration has been when to decide to give up on the twists/braids until my hair is longer. I get so tired of trying over and over, putting hours of work into twisting my hair only to result in a FAIL. LOL

    I haven't given up yet, though. I'm going to try yet MORE twists tonight. LOL I can't believe it myself, but I don't like to quit and maybe this time I'll get it right. My goal has been healthy hair. I've achieved that, BUT now I want length. I can hang in there…I KNOW I can do it!

  • NaturallyU says:

    Just pull my hair into a bun. Everyone has moments with their hair even relaxed heads. My motto is "if it isn't working then pull it into a bun". At least you will get a protective style out of it and people will get to see your cute waves. : )

  • CollegeGirl says:

    @Shaunte lol this humidity has had me in buns and headbands for weeks!! I henna-ed (LUSH) and liked the color change and thickness, but my relaxed ends STILL won't hold anything like a curl…

    So back up in that bun they go. I'm trying so hard not to chop, but I like how you're slowly chopping :) Hmmmmm… might have to try that…

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow! I am glad to see that I am not the only one. I BC'd in 2008 and my hair had grown to MBL. All of a sudden in January 2010, it wasn't acting right and it was knotting up and nothing helped, so I decided to perm it. As soon as I did it, I regretted it. I thought I would keep it since I went ahead and permed it and re-touched it in March. That was it for me, no more perm, I miss my curls so much that I can't wait for my hair to grow. It took me along time to really appreciate my hair and understand that this is apart of me and I LOVE it! What will I do in future to ensure that I do not return to the dreaded perm, I am thinking of ideas now to prevent that. But some ideas that I think will work for me are: Kinky twists, Goddess Braids, maybe an occassional press (NO PERM). Whenever I get that bored feeling I might even rock a beautiful scarf, or hat that I have been wanting to wear.

  • Anonymous says:

    I was just experiencing one of those frustrating moments. I had resigned myself to getting kinky twists when a recent twist out caused me to change my mind. Talk about beautiful! As a last resort I used Lottabody for a defined, bouncy, glossy twist out. Now I'm happy again. When unhappy, wear a protective style and leave it alone.

  • Ash says:

    I just breathe and realize that my hair won't always turn out how I want and try not to be a perfectionist. I put on a smile, my favorite outfit,earrings and i'm on my way. Funny thing is on days when I don't feel myself, other people say I look great!

  • Zoe says:

    Nikki you always post topics that are appropriate to me and my journey at the perfect time!

    First it was the fluffing of the twist outs. I…I just will never get the twist out right. So in my annoyance of looking so untidy, I decided to get cornrows.

    I've had my hair braided since I was young and I have never had such an itchy braided style. Nevermind the fact that my hair is reverting inside and again, making me feel like I look untidy.

    So I'm really considering a second big chop. Start afresh with more knowledge, because even though I was natural, I still wasn't on a healthy hair journey; I was still using heat galore, combing knotted dry hair, etc.

    Yes, I think a second big chop is in order. Something like a buzz cut. Get rid of some baggage too.

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm so frustrated with my hair right now that Im not sure how to respond here :) My hair sticks straight up. I haven't found the right products. I cant style it very well…and honestly Im ready to to do something to it not sure what just something. Ive been second guessing whether I made the right decision becoming natural.

  • Anonymous says:

    I just purchased a half wig yesterday!…Interesting how this post came the same time I began my frustration. However, I wouldn't trade my curls for anything! ;)

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm also having this issue! I have been natural for a year and I'm scissor happy and quite frankly not happy with the current condition of my hair. The knots, the split ends, they drive me insane! I decided to call a local salon owner I know and make an appointment. I'm start from scratch, because I just can't take it anymore. I know my hair is damaged, not sure how it got that way. I thought I was making progress but I can tell when my own hair is not healthy and it makes me unhappy. So I'm going in for a cut. Not sure what I will be left with and quite frankly I don't care! As long as my hair is healthy that is all I am concerned about. I will probably regret not making this decision earlier. But you live and you learn and I am ready to move on!

  • afrique68 says:

    Perfect timing for this post. I took out my kinky twists 6 weeks ago so I am forced to "DEAL" with my 4a/b hair and Im so frustrated. Tried a new style yesterday and it was a disaster! Thinking the only style that works are twist outs and afro puffs. UUUGGHH! Not sure if it's growing but it is definitely getting thicker and harder to manage. Helps to know somebody understands. gracias.

  • Shante says:

    @CollegeGirl I am a transistioner as well, I have taken scisssors to rogue permed ends for the last two weekends doing a half ass BC (too scared to do it completely) all of my permed ends in the fronts and side are gone LOL…. I am trying to hold out too lol

  • Anonymous says:

    I book a blow out and trim every 6-8 weeks. That gives me something to look forward to and a break from thinking about my hair. It also lets me see the progress, which encourages me to keep going. I'm going to do a rollerset next instead of a blowout since I'm trying not to put a flat iron near my head, especially in the summer. I pincurl my hair after that initial flat iron at the salon, because I've gotten used to no heat (after 2 years of transitioning and 5 months natural). It scares me now!

  • CollegeGirl says:

    Is it possible to become frustrated with transitioning? I got so mad at one of my relaxed ends this morning (took it off the flexi-rod and it was still straight) that I just took a pair of shears to it and walked out the door. I've got about 10 months until I'm at 2 years but I don't think I'm gonna make it. I'm eyeing those scissors right now…

  • Unknown says:

    My hair and I have this drama every few months and my hair has never won!

    When my hair pisses me off and doesn't act right. I load it with (curly friendly) gel and put it into a poof. Within a few days, when it's tired of being in hair jail, I will do a shampoo (which I only do 2x/month), condition, deep condition, and then see where it's at. Most times, it's back to normal.

    I've never been a fan of weaves and wigs, so that is not an option for me. Plus my hair is so thick that it would hate me and the wig if I did that. I like the freeness of natural hair, even when it's not acting right!

  • Ash says:

    I agree w/ Anonymous. I've been natural a little over a year and I became frustrated with the awkward length (my buns and twists look anorexic) and still trying to find the right products. So I got kinky twists, but it's been almost four weeks and I'm ready to see my hair again!

  • Anonymous says:

    I am sooo glad you posted this Nikki b/c I am there right now! I'm considering BC again but my hubby would die and I don't really want braids but IDK … I'll be looking forward to the responses on this one!

  • CurlyQues says:

    This is soo funny to me..because i was just in the mirror going UGhhhhh, and getting frustrated with my hair. I know its growing its just i don't see it since i have 4a hair. my hair is filled with spirals/cork screws…and length is hard to detect..i know to concentrate on health but i want to do something besides a afro EVERYDAY!!

    so i might go back to my kinky twist…

  • MsLizziA says:

    I either get it braided up or get a sew -in put in. Either way i just get it out of my hands and just give it a little break. Wigs will be my new best friends in a little bit.

  • NaturallyCurlyDee says:

    I usually start using my natural half wig if my hair is frustrating me. Sometimes my two strand twists just won’t come out right :( or my wash n go just looks like a no no. I have step away from my hair, but tell myself all over again that this natural hair journey is a process. I must be patient with my hair. It gets to a point to were my hair is tired of me manipulating it and I’m tired of batting with my curls….so breaks are needed and welcomed whenever necessary!!

  • Unknown says:

    I've gone thru this process last April. After transitioning for a year with braids and being completely natural for about 4 moths with shoulder length hair I first tried color…then the perm! My hair started falling out and I again transitioned for nine months and went completly natural 4-16-2010! I think if the frustration and urges come back I will try the lace fronts or braids or something…NO MORE PERM and definetly no CUTTING!

  • KB says:

    I actually experienced this last week. I BC'd at the end of January. I only have about 2 inches of hair and was getting bored with my TWA so I went to the shop and got Kinky Twists yesterday. We'll see how long this lasts until I miss my kinky curls.

  • TrollopCM says:

    I normally take a break from my hair and have my cousin put in kinky twist extensions. It helps take my mind off my hair and allows me to focus my energy elsewhere.

  • Unknown says:

    I went through this phase last August 18 months post-BC, when my hair was about a 12-inches long. It was so thick and huge, I didn't know what to do with it, and I was craving a new look. The ease of a TWA has always appealed to me. Since I know I'm a little over-the-top spontaneous regarding my hair, I decided to give myself a month to really think it over. If I still felt that way after thinking about it for that long, then I would chop it. And sure enough, I did.

    I'm growing it out again. It's about 5-inches long, and this time I'm determined not to get frustrated. I'm exploring styling and care options right now in preparation for where I'll be by the end of the year. I think it also helps to see pictures of your progress, which makes a fotki page quite useful for self-motivation. The idea of returning to a relaxer isn't even an option for me. Too many health-related impact variables for me to go that route.

  • brownsugar09 says:

    I buy a cute curly half- wig that looks like my hair- or how I want my hair to look. It gives me some time to strategize without having to worry about how my hair is going to look from morning to morning. I use that time to try to asses my hair's needs.

  • Anonymous says:

    I take a break!!! I go to the Africans and have them braid it up….. That's my solution and it has been working for five years now…. After four weeks of braids i start missing my curly hair!!! And the process starts all over again :-)

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