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Curly Nikki

On the Couch With GG

By January 27th, 202115 Comments

On the Couch With GG
Hi Nikki,

I was reading Essence magazine this weekend and became so inspired by the “I Love Being a Black Woman” theme that is a feature of the July issue. I have a four year old daughter and another baby girl on the way, and my biggest wish for their lives is that they love themselves for everything that they are and live fearless and proud in their own skin. It is my honor and challenge to teach them to love themselves unconditionally no matter what influences they face in this world.

Sometimes we get so lost in wanting someone else’s hair or body or success, that we become completely disconnected from our own unique nature. I’ve certainly been guilty of it! I want my hair to curl this way, and my hips to curve that way. I want to have this person’s house or that person’s clothes.

I once read a quote that says “Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep.” So, why do we put ourselves through that? Because we fail to look inside of ourselves for validation and meaning.

I’ve had to learn through much suffering to appreciate my life by exploring the qualities and experiences that are my birthright. Each of us are so uniquely blessed and crafted to offer something to the world that no one else can. Why not honor our individual journeys by hugging every unexpected bend in the road, taking every opportunity to grow, and understanding that what makes us different is what makes us beautiful?

There are so many textures and depths to our beauty. So, don’t compare, contrast or measure your worth to anyone else. Use your strengths, align yourself with your values, do what you love and SHINE.

Peace and blessings,


  • Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your post. Personally, I feel like everyone in this world needs a constant reminder of the importance of being thankful for our blessings everday. I think it is very easy to get caught up in focusing our attention on everything and anything that takes away from our happiness in life and blessings. I am grateful everyday that I work with little people with severe disabilities, because they help me to be thankful for all the little things in life that I use to take for granted. My perspective on life also changed after losing three close friends, all in their 20s & 30s, in one year. The last two years have been a journey of becoming the person I think God created me to be and living a full life. I am not as concerned as I use to be about people, because I know tomorrow isn't promised to me and I try to live each day like it is my last. It works for me, so that's how I do it. Live, Love, Peace. ~ Sweetsop
    P.S. Please note that when I say I want a Nubian empress' hair or hair style that I feel blessed, because I use to want something that never looked like me or be obtained. Personally, that's growth for me. I'm proud of myself for embracing Nubian Beauty, because we were estranged for so long and I thought I would never ascertain it. I also know that I wouldn't trade my hair for anyone else's hair, because I love myself the way God made me. It took some time to get here, I am happy where I am, and I'm never going back.

  • Notthecoolmom says:

    Loved this post.

  • Unknown says:

    Awesome post! Thank you for sharing such wonderful, empowering and uplifting words of wisdom!

  • mothereartha says:


  • DLButler says:

    I LOVED reading your post. It was so inspiring and right on time for me today. I too, struggle with focusing on what I desire instead of savoring what I have. THANKS A BUNCH, BE BLESSED! And thanks to CN for having such a wonderful place on the web for sisterhood to be embraced and displayed.

  • Tiffany says:

    Nice Post.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  • Alta Angel says:

    This was an awesome post! We are blessed in more ways than we realize.

  • Anonymous says:

    GG, I really needed to read that today. Thank you! And thanks to you, too, Nikki – This website is wonderful. It's always so uplifting and empowering.

  • Unknown says:

    Nice post!

  • Nik says:

    This is amazing! I've been dealing with criticism from some people close to me and it's definitely had an effect on my self esteem. This is so timely and I'm going to get that Essence today since it inspired such beautiful words. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

  • Anonymous says:

    Your words touched me deeply. Thank you!! Be blessed!

  • Unknown says:

    For the past few days I have been struggling with insecurities. Comparing my hair, my body and my salary to others. Wishing I had bigger hair, smaller tummy and bigger salary. Your writing truly touched me. As you mentioned, I realized how much time I have wasted over obsessing over what I wish were different rather than enjoying the wonderful gifts I have. A loving family,wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a career and home and big beautiful hair.!!! How selfish of me to complain. I thank you for this piece and today I make a promise to myself to love me!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow! This is an awesome post! The July Essence is a must have:-)

  • Anonymous says:

    Well said…your daughters are blessed to have a mother with so much wisdom :-)

  • es says:

    i totally agree! Great piece.

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