It’s actually funny because I started with an ‘Amber Rose’ to experience all of the different stages of observing, learning, and nurturing my tresses- – from a TWA to the BAA I am rocking today. Although my hands enjoyed playing in my new found love of all this full, thick and gorgeous hair, I’ve truly been on an emotional roller coaster.
I always encourage others who’ve been in my shoes to keep their heads up and stay motivated, but deep down inside I was pretty much doing the opposite within myself. I kept a smile on my face, rocking my TWA and even failed Twist-Outs and Wash-n-Gos because I didn’t want those rooting for me to see me crack under pressure. It’s so easy to say “brush off the haters” and “pay them no mind” but deep down, I actually did care what they thought of me, and yet I felt compelled to put up this front like “yea whatever…I KNOW I look good”. That’s a hard facade to hide behind… a mask I no longer wanted to wear.
So here I am, natural and loving it, but also a tiny bit uneasy at the same time. I’m very passionate about learning from my girls on the Forum and getting a feel for what my hair likes through trial and error. It wasn’t until TODAY that I fully gave in and told myself, I LOVE MY HAIR!! Through the ups and downs, the failed styling attempts, and product mishaps, I’m totally in loooove with my hair. I’ve come to the conclusion, whether I think it’s a failed ‘do or not, that my greatest mistakes are my BEST results!
The greatest feeling is to know that when I leave the house, I have all eyes on me! My confidence radiates and I can feel the looks… the stares… they want to be me! You hear people say, “I wish I could go natural, BUT”…and then the myths and excuses begin to pour. I’m starting to see a trend in big hair; so much that people are actually PAYING for kinky weaves to achieve the fro look when what grows out of my head is FREE!!
The overwhelming support I have received from my CN ladies is priceless. I couldn’t ask for a better, honest and inspirational group of divas! I guess that’s what makes me so emotional about the love I feel in being apart of such a group. Women have a bad rep for cattiness, hatred, envy and being so negative towards each other without giving much love to uplift each other. I have never experienced such an opposite attitude among beautiful women in my life. It’s powerful!
When I see my girls at meetups I feel like I’ve known them forever. I support them in their many creative endeavors and they support me in mine. This is absolutely hands down the best community to be apart of and I cant wait for the 1st Annual CurlyNikki Cruise (hint-hint). Thank you Nikki for keeping me entertained and having such a steady following of AMAZING women! National ‘Fro Day has really opened my eyes to confirm what I should have accepted from the beginning…My FRO is gorgeous. I see so many other women pulling it off and I was skeptical of myself, but once I kept playing and shaping it, my smile grew bigger and bigger 😀 heeeey, I gotta do this more often ’cause I walked out feeling like superwoman and NOBODY was gonna take my shine and from now on…they never will.