A woman at work asked me why I didn’t wear my hair straight. I said ‘it doesn’t grow that way and I’m too lazy to make it do that’. She asked what I use in my hair to create the funky styles I wear. I said ‘hardly anything’. (The style in the picture is what I wore to a holiday party)
I used to religiously put an oil mixture in my hair everyday. Combo of olive oil, grapeseed oil, jojoba and god knows what else. My hair was moisturized but my skin took a beating! So I stopped. I could go bald, but I’d like my skin to be healthy. Now, I wash once a week, put some moisturizer in every few days and call it a day. With putting even less natural products in my hair…my hair is actually handling it better and my face.
I spoke with the woman from my job a little bit about hair. She told me her’s was wavy and that she flat ironed it everyday to keep it straight.
I realized at the end of that conversation which I’ve known of myself for quite awhile, is that what I seek is to live an authentic simple life. I want to be natural and organic..not just with hair but with every facet of my life. And being sustainable in your life, also makes for a more simple life and gives you time for things that actually matter.
I grow my own herbs instead of buying them most times. Why? Not because I’m on some granola soapbox of the benefits to the world in doing this. But because its simpler. That’s why I went natural. It’s why I purge my clothes a few times every year.
Everyone has their reasons. To each their own. What I look forward to is the day when we do away with this need for surface level BS and get to a point where we can just be…however we are.
I know one too many women who won’t go outside without makeup, without heels, without earrings, without that outfit…and it’s sad. But adorning ourselves and attributing worth to it has been pervasive in our world since the beginning of time. But who’s to say it has to always be that way.
Well, I love my heels, makeup (mineral), clothes & jewelry and since I'm dealing with the effects of constantly removing unwanted facial hair (I'm 50) and don't want to go around with a hairy chin, etc. no matter how careful I am plucking I get dark spots and so I wear makeup to cover up BUT look natural and so my intent is to enhance rather than cover up and I like to look good and the compliments are many–I'm a girly girl with a touch of tomboy, and I don't apologize for who I am because I'm so much more than my appearance! I figured we have this small window to look good before it doesn't matter and why should the rich and celebrities have all the fun! I have recently transitioned (last relaxer was April 2010) because I just wanted to embrace my own natural texture–never had any issues with bald spots, chemical burns, thinning, etc. but after researching various sites and YouTube, I'm in love with the possibilities of my own texture and besides, I've had pretty much every hairstyle there have been (except those ugly ghetto chicks weaved hairstyles). Many thanks to all of you brave souls who though not professional hair stylists have shown more expertise and knowledge about true hair care than all of my best hair stylist and I truly do appreciate your knowledge. It just goes to show that there are STILL black women out there who are like me who view other women as potential friends rather than rivals. I love the fact that they don't mind sharing and giving of themselves so that fellow sistas can benefit all for FREE and their knowledge is so priceless! I've always done that–I never have been negative toward a sista wearing natural hair. I have even complimented them. I feel that's the way it should be–to each her own! Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
To thine self be true! If you don't leave the house without make-up and accessories that's a personal perference. I agree with the article about the syndrome; oh my goodness I laughed because I could definitely identify. Today I'm grateful for healthy hair, especially in the spots that were bald.
Anon @12pm. I agree with EVERYTHING you just said except the 2nd and 3rd sentence. I don't believe new found awareness elevates one person above another. It elavates me above my previous self…thus personal growth and personal evolution. But compared to other people, it doesn't mean a thing.
Also, there's no implied bias against the wavy hair lady. I've known her for years. Having the conversation with her which lasted about an hour just made me realize some things about myself. Says nothing to who she is as a person. I just never had any idea her natural hair was wavy.
The statement that I agree most with, is to each his own. I love it when people find for themselves a new-found awareness and suddenly feel elevated above others who don't share the same perspective. While I know the OP wasn't necessarily passing judgement on women who won't leave the house a certain way, a biased view of the woman who still straightens her wav hair everyday is implied. I am natural and a vegetarian who considers myself pretty low-maintenance. I wear heels everyday, but sport un-manicured finger nails, no earrings, but always perfume. I can do without it all, but enjoy the girliness of it. These things don't define me as simplistic, but rather my thoughts, who I give my time to, what my conversations are about.But they don't make me better or more enlightened than the next person. My values do. The girl who eats beef 3 meals a day, sporting footlong acrylic tips, and bone-strait hair could have a more broad world-view than my own. This is just my opinion though, and I respect that of the original poster
@LBell. Thanks for the correction. I definitely didn't take the time to look up the difference. Didn't realize there was one. I like learning new things!
Story of my life…from the time I left my parents' house I always knew I wanted to live a very simple life with few possessions. Of course, over time this hasn't proved to be the case (specifically with books, lol) but I still tend to be very simple when it comes to my beauty regimen as well as my clothing style. I rarely wear makeup…but then I was blessed with REALLY good skin; if that weren't the case I could see how I might use more makeup. Where I live people rarely dress up so I'm a little out of practice in the heels department. 🙂 And now that my hair is short again, caring for it couldn't be easier. I can complicate my look if and when necessary…but I like having the option not to do so.
Language nitpick: There's a difference between "simple" and "simplistic." The latter is actually meant to indicate OVERsimplification of something. "Simple living" is clearer (and simpler, lol).
ON POINT! TWO SNAPS SHASHAY SHASHAY..My mother has been telling me for years especially when I be dressing up just to go out that I dont need all that and its true I feel my most sexiest these days short hair round face thick thighs and all never was into the makeup thing and still am not and thats when I feel my most beautiful naturally pretty . I love me some shoes and killer wardrobe like the next woman but I always find when Im at my simplest is when I get the most attention.
Loved this!
I'm not sure how much further clarification I can provide. I've clearly stated, "to each their own." I've clarified I'm not making a base "judgement" on every woman. And yes, I do think its sad when the friends that I know and love…not faceless women I've never met, but when a friend has cried because while her soul is wonderful she thinks she's hideous without makeup even though she's the most gorgeous person I've ever seen.
What it comes down to is self esteem. The subtext, the "hidden meaning" is about everyone having esteem in themselves so no matter what they have or don't have, they still know their worth.
Also, if it does't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you. If you wear makeup but you know your worth no matter what…then that's great. It's great for any one to know their worth. We are all sacred beings made from the essence of a higher being and its my hope that we wrap our minds around that.
funny thing is I was like that because I was a tomboy and still am in a smaller way. But I have found my life getting more complicated with the attire but that a choice I made and life is simple and complicated and we must except that as simple as we try make there will be things in our life that will become complicated.
I wear make-up to dress it up and to hide the occasional flaw. I wear heels to complete a look of a wardrobe and earrings if I haven't lost them, lol. But I believe that where the author is wrong is the outfit. Whether you want to admit what clothing combination you where is your outfit just like it is your style. Now if you dress sloppy when you step out of your house then you will be seen as a slob, if you dress dark maybe a rocker, emo or goth, or even seen as being depressed. Now I am not saying dress to the nines to get the mail but dress comfortably and decent. Plus we all know a person at work that takes Casual Fridays too casual (you know flip flops, wife-beaters, tank tops, torn up jeans, food stains before lunch, etc.)
Yes life should be simple but I think an individual should define it the way that makes them happy. For some it not going organic because that maybe to much work to make everything and check every ingredient, some it not being an vegan for some it not being materialistic, for some its not being a fashionista, for some it not being a omnivore, for some it not being girlie girl, for some it not being the alpha female, for some its not being the good-girl, for some…well you get the drift.
I think you should say anything is "sad" unless you understand behind it because what make life truely sad and complicated is not even trying to understand why people do what they do and why they are the way they are before passing harsh judgment. Now that is not simple ( or easy, but it is a necessary complication we need to take to make our life more simple).
Wish you all the best.
See – why do people have to be afraid if they disagree? Just embrace that people are different. A different opinion than yours doesn't make the other person afraid.
I really agree. I must say that since going natural I decided tostop "covering" myself and to start "healing" my weak spots. My whole concept of beauty has changed. Now I accept "self-decoration" but it's not something I depend on, and it's not meant to hide myself. If I want to fell beautiful now I need to feel healthy from the inside out. This has improved my confidence and it has brought me to seek for a lot of information that I wasn't aware of…
I like what you had to say Sheena. The basic message is honest and true. When I was a young girl, my mom and my aunties used to tell me that true beauty required no enhancement. So they encouraged us to just be us and not be concerned with make-up, accessories. Now I like to get cute with make up and such but I know the world doesn't pause because I left the house without that stuff. It would be far too burdensome if that weren't true. Keeping it simple so that you can spend time on what is really important in the world is a deep message and one that folks are afraid to hear. But the most important thing to me is that some of us feel that, some of can hear that and there is still room in the world for those who can't.
The Amish feel the same way – that it's the personality that counts, not the things on the person. I'm totally serious – this is why they wear plain clothes, no makeup, etc. Some Amish even frown on putting too many pleats in a bonnet…some frown on bonnets altogether…too ornamental.
Totally serious.
Thanks Ladies. I'm loving your feedback. I just want to say that I do not see anything wrong with earrings, heels, dresses and such. If you look at my videos or blog, you'll know I enjoy accessories as much as the next person. I just know people who put their worth in those things and they refuse to get the mail like mentioned above without getting done up. I also did say, "To each their own." I can rock jeans, a designer dress or a burlap sack and ROCK IT! Because while the accessories add to it, my being is what matters. That's all I'm saying. And not everyone has to live my way of living. There is no wrong or right way. But I look forward to the day when the totality of our worth is tied up in our essence, our character and not just how we look.
Great post. Simple is way better in my opinion. Way before I considered going natural, I stopped wearing nailpolish. I also don't wear lipstick or blush, and have never been a fan of foundation. My rationale, I want to see the color of my nails, (healthy pink), and it's wiser to strive for an even skin tone, than to have my face plastered like a canvas. Occasionally I may use mascara (for a dressy event), and I use either lip gloss or balm. I DO NOT condemn women for wearing makeup, I am just stating my lifestyle and how I feel comfortable with myself.
Thank you for this! I am striving to do the same and the process has been so rewarding. I have my vices like everyone else. But I think about my friends sometimes and how they have to have this or that purse, and so forth and so on. I used to be that girl, every time I went to the mall, I had to stop by the MAC counter before I left. Don't get me wrong, I still luvs me some lipglass, but right not as much and not as often!
I don't use make up all the time but wish I devoted more time to looking good and that includes make up,going natural had more to do with having control over my looks, through life's uncertainties its good to know you can just 'do you' cultivating my own herbs doesn't seem simpler than buying it, to me lol, but to each her own
I understand the writers context, and I agree with my sister's who've posted. I believe it's all a process… a journey. I BC'd for the third and last time on 3/31/10. I wear make-up and conservative earings because my face and ears can be seen! LOL. I encourage everyone to enjoy the journey and the growth. Authenticity is best, but's it's so very individual. It's a process.
I enjoyed reading this post and the positive message behind it. My current goal is combing my organic natural nature with my fashionista style. I am very fortunate that I am recovering from product junkism and still have all my MAC make-up (never had an allergic reaction to it so I used it over my facial moisturizer and I have enough to last me until I figure out my next organic fashionista / product junkie move). Personally, I am finding a balance between the person I am and the person I am actively striving to become as my goals develop or change as I grow. I am learning to respect where I am in my journey called life and respect others. I feel very fortunate that my homemade butters can be used on my hair, face, and whole body. But it took patience, trial and error, time, support from others at times when I was discouraged, and research. DO YOUR RESEARCH, DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, AND RESPECT WHERE YOU ARE IN THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFE. I plan to buy the jeans that fit like butter until I can make them myself, and I have no shame saying it. Do you, love it, and don't sweat the haters (use your time do something wonderful for you or the people you love). Live, Love, Peace. ~Sweetsop
P.S. Thank you Curly Nikki for the link to the top ten natural ingredients for you hair. Truly helped with my research on humectants, benefits of ingredients, and identifying the products that are missing from my routine (ALOE).
Oh, and by best… I'm not deluding myself that I look as good in sneakers and a tee shirt as I do in certain other outfits I own. It's not that I look BAD in those things, it's that I don't look my BEST.
I can look my best without chemically altering my hair, but I can't always look my best in sweatpants.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman feeling she should look what she feels is her best one hundred percent of the time she is out of the house. I am not that woman, but if someone else is… go for it; do your thing.
Some women just enjoy the process of makeup and whatnot more than others. Everything is not always a statement.
Again, I got what she was saying. I just tend not to get too deep with stuff, so don't take what I said wrong.
I guess I'm saying that I don't think of those things as defining me. It's just what I like and what makes me comfortable and works for my life.
Love it! I totally get it!
i like what this article was trying to say. i've always felt this way, especially about make-up. i know women who will wear make-up in lieu of ance treatment. Why not fix the problem first and allow make-up to enhance your skin. besides, if you can't look good without make-up and/or you can't be proud of your hair without a relaxer…
^^yeah, i don't believe she was saying there's anything wrong with wearing heels, make-up etc. etc., but that it's okay to go out every now and again without makeup b/c it doesn't define who you are as a person. good point sheena!
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I, too, felt like the writer was saying that those material things should not be used to define us. So often women, even the brave women who BC and learn to love their natural hair, often use those accessories as a way to feel feminine. The hope is that, eventually, none of us will feel like we need those things, though we may use them b/c we like them.
As an avid traveler, I so identify with this post. I have spent the past 3 years learning how to put my entire life in 2 suitcases, a carry-on bag, and a backpack. Clothes that I don't wear and products that I don't use regularly do not fit into this equation. It is a liberating feeling to shed those things, and I look forward to downsizing even further in the future.
Great post!
I think the author was saying some women WILL NOT leave the house without make up/heels/etc. Not even to get the mail. I know some women like that, and it is sad.
Theres nothing wrong with lookin good! But if you need to make a midnight run to the grocery store, I don't think you should spend 45 minutes getting ready.
What a wonderful concept…"to be comfortable with ourselves"! I also love the thought of being comfortable with others being themselves, and if that includes the earrings or whatever, then its all good.
I interpreted the writer as implying if that's ALL the person was about or identified themselves with, as if that and only that is what "makes them worthy", then it really would be sad. I don't think she was saying folks have to lose the earrings, makeup or whatever to become "the true you". But I'm only interpreting what I THINK she meant…
Good article and I do believe part of the process FOR ME was the acceptance of my hair…totally! Even when I'm having what I consider to be "bad hair days", I still love it!
Ok. I was with the writer until she said it's sad that some women won't leave the house without heels, makeup, etc… Because honey – I am that woman! There is nothing sad about me. I just love my accessories. And my shoes. Just as I am learning to love the kinks and coils of my hair.
That's just me. Always has been and I think I am just as real as the person who chooses not to wear deoderant or to not use plastic or whatever their cause may be.
I mean, even in the picture, the writer is wearing earrings. While I get what she is saying (and I don't really get super deep on things sometimes) just because one adorns themselves or whatever doesn't mean they're not real and are superficial.