Imagine the following scenario:
Your husband/significant other can’t deal with your natural hair, it turns him off and he tells you that he’s even thought about cheating. What do you do? Change your hair or head for the door?
Curly Nikki Responds: In last weekend’s post, the consensus was that many young men seem to be less accepting of natural hair than their more mature counterparts (not my experience however), and that we divas all too friggin’ fly to care about what strangers think of our natural curls (I couldn’t agree more… f’ em).
But what happens if ‘the one’ ain’t feeling it? Fortunately, I never had to deal with this, as I didn’t go natural until after I met my now husband. But I can’t say that it wouldn’t have posed a true dilemma for me…
About two years ago, during my graduate internship, I remember speaking at length with an older co-worker about going natural. She loved my hair and was ready to let the relaxer go. We discussed her options- – transitioning versus the BC, product selection, and hair styles of choice. This was on a Friday… the next Monday she came in with a 2 inch TWA! It looked amazing on her and truly highlighted the contours of her face. Although she was smiling, I could see something in her eyes. I asked her why she did it so suddenly, how she was feeling, and what her children and husband thought. She responded, ‘I was ready. I feel amazing and confident. My (adult) kids don’t care. My husband hates it and isn’t speaking to me, he thinks I look like a man’. Yikes. The dissonance was apparent… she was in love with her new look and wanted so much to feel free to enjoy it, but her husband was giving her grief. Needless to say, by the end of the summer, as it was growing out, he was coming around. But still, I don’t think his reaction was fair to her. On the flip side, he argued that as her partner, such a drastic change (shoulder length hair to TWA) should have been discussed with him prior to her trip to the salon. What do you think?