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Curly Nikki

Big Chop and Improved Self-Esteem

By January 27th, 202127 Comments

Big Chop and Improved Self-Esteem
In the previous post, Ebony states:

Since my BC, my self confidence has really improved. I do realize that it’s going to be something that I have to keep improving and keep working on, but since going natural, I have had nothing but good days. I rock my TWA with pride, knowing that I can honestly say I love myself, making it easier for me to truly love someone else.

Can any of you relate? We always talk about the initial drop in self-esteem or confidence one may experience after the BC (due to overvaluing other’s opinions, and adjusting to this new standard of beauty), but it’s true that many divas receive a boost! What has your experience been and what do you think makes or breaks it?

27 Comments

  • Msvalerie28 says:

    Oh No DOUBT! The journey back to MY hair was one of the most Liberating things I have done, and now, as my "Hair-aversary" approaches, & I am ROCKING this Fro…Whoo…you all have NO idea! Can't see myself EVER perming again. Even though I admittedly enjoy ALL the many compliments I have gotten when I "let my hair out (LOL)", honestly the joy has been in the self-awareness…and self approval…a whole new level of learning myself in this stage…I've always known who I am, and from where I enter, but I can now appreciate what GOD has gifted me IN me, and that is a beautiful thang~

  • Anonymous says:

    I also felt the same way! I tell women/girls all the time about how much MORE confident I became after my BC! I believe it was because I was no longer having to try and "hide" who I was, in terms of my hair. No longer was I worried about whether I would be "found out" when my curly roots began to show out from under my long and straightened hair. When I pulled my hair in a ponytail I applied a whole jar of gel to get the edges to lay down or spent hours in the mirror with a flat iron trying to get my hair to do the OPPOSITE of what it was intended to do. Now that it's natural for more than a year now, I don't have to worry about that or fight with my hair anymore. It is how it is, and the freedom of not having to conform is more liberating that I could have ever imagined!

  • Anonymous says:

    I was ready when I did the big chop, but I didn't know that I was THIS ready. I actually said to my son, "I look sooo much better." I always thought I looked better when (before the big chop) I wore my hair off my face or when it was wrapped. I should've did this a long time ago, but I was too afraid then. Now that I am 30-something, I just don't care about others' reactions. I feel so cute and I keep looking in the mirror, dancing. I love feeling my hair.

  • Anonymous says:

    I bc'd exactly two weeks ago and I LOVE it:) The BC has def. boosted my self-confidence! Now I walk down the street with my head held HIGH and I know that I'm the "business" LOL. I no longer care about what others thing about me…PERIOD! hate it or love it is what I say. also, guys LOVE it! They compliment me on my eyes more…they are actually looking at my face and not my BODY:) It's all about what YOU think about yourself which will have others thinking the same. So to all my ladies with low cuts or TWAs…WERK IT! You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you anything different:)

  • Anonymous says:

    True beauty has nothing to do with your clothing or hair, it's all about your attitude. The confidence in being natural is liberating which is oh-so-sexy!

  • Lex says:

    My confidence regarding my BC goes back and forth. Sometimes I look at myself and think, "I look great. I prefer this to my transitioning wash-n-go. I can rock any style I want. I feel free." But then I have the times (such as now) when I think I wish my hair was flatter and could be more controlled by my headband. But hey, I BC'd less than a week ago. I think that my biggest concern is what people are going to say when I go back to school. There was a girl who BC'd last school year, and I remember the jokes just two guys made about her, and I didn't say anything to defend her. Will it be me that they talk about next? Maybe. Will I care? That's what I'm struggling with now.

  • aJwitaFrO says:

    Initially I think the BC is a shocker because you look SO different. But the fact that you really don't have any other choice but to "werk it" forces you to dig deep and find that confidence that I believe we all have.. most of the time it's just dormant. Sometimes I really miss my TWA for that reason.

  • Daree says:

    It's been about 6 weeks since my BC but I have continued to cut it– who knew I would love the Caesar? I continue to get compliments on it and my confidence remains unwavered. When I do decide to grow it out I'll come back for some styling ideas.

  • Unknown says:

    Well I really didn't intend to do the BC, was wearing my relaxed hair short anyway but the bonding glue was ruining the front so I decided to do it for a fresh start. I dyed it blonde too. Was not intending to stay on the natural road but now I'm on it I love it. I must admit I was very nervous when I showed my family but they loved it. I love people looking at it when they are talking to me (better than them looking at my breasts or something!! ;)), people want to touch it all the time and I'm loving the feel and texture of it as well as the easyness of it. Soo many coils, didn't ever know my natural hair before. Wash and go that's me. Can't wait for it to grow a little more so I can do twist outs and wear hair bands and stuff. Loving it!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    i knew i was a diva before going napptural; but after i bc'd (3 mths after my last relaxer)…i was so fabulous, you had have to leave a post-it note in order to talk to me (lol). i walked away from the salon with a head full of 4b hair, 1 1/2 inches stretched/quarter of an inch unstretched. it was so liberating and the confidence overflowed into every other area of my life…completely amazing! that was jul '07, and i haven't looked back since!!

  • parody says:

    I BD'd June 21, 2010. For 3 weeks I wore wigs and quick weaves. Finally I just decided to go for it. The first 2 or 3 days were hard I was so nervous. But everyone I knew loved it. Most were shocked because I wear weave and wigs FAITHFULLY! This is the longest I have worn my real hair in 3 years and I love it. I like the attention and I like being different from everyone else. So yes it was a huge confidence builder for me and my self esteem. I can't wait for it to grow!

  • Teacia says:

    It's been a month since my big chop, it was my Independence Day gift to myself. I had been contemplating it all year, and while standing in the mirror after washing my hair and dreading the 2hr process that was to follow to get it straight I said to hell with it, and chopped it off myself with a pair of kitchen scissors, lol. I LOVE IT!! It felt like a weight was lifted from my life. My nickname was Barbie, I'm the $400 weave girl who kept it silky and straight, and being able to define MYSELF my beauty has been a beautiful thing. Luckily for me, mostly everyone has loved it. There are a few naysayers who had a negative reaction, but they can kick rocks. I feel even more beautiful w/o all that extra weight of society sitting on my head. It definitely gave me a confidence boost, although I didn't need one…but it's a different kind of confidence. My only complaint is that I waited so long…and men my age(30) LOVE it. So it's a win win…not to mention it helps my daughter accept her natural beauty now that she looks like mommy with her kinky curly hair.

  • LBell says:

    First time I BC'd was over the Thanksgiving weekend and I stayed inside pretty much the entire time. But then on Monday I had to go to work…and this was before you could get wigs that didn't make you look like someone's grandma. So I told myself that I had to fake it (pretend I liked it) until I made it…and that's exactly what I did. Fortunately it only took another week before I really began to love it and to love how I looked with it. Plus, the sheer freedom that came with a TTWWA was intoxicating. A good part of what still keeps me natural today is the freedom it brings. Also, once you wear your hair that short and realize you're still beautiful, it's that much easier to BC again if you need or want to. Last March I BC'd for the fifth time since going natural 15 years ago.

  • GGmadeit says:

    Yes my glam factor has been on high since I gave up the LYE

  • Anonymous says:

    I don't know if I can say my BC improved my self esteem, but I can say I care less about what others think about the way I look. With straight hair I was always worried about my hair being frizzy or looking unkempt; now I'm so nonchalant about it. I have my wavering moments (living in a predominately white area, I garner stares every now and then) but as I whole I just feel free.

  • C. says:

    I BC'd three weeks ago after transitioning for only two months. And I have to say that I almost immediately felt more beautiful. I could no longer hide behind my hair. My face was there to see. I had to rock my new look with confidence and, I discovered, the confidence was there. It just needed an excuse to come out.

  • Balls Of Beauty says:

    i know my amber rose was fiyah but it took me a while to fully embrace it. i felt good on the outside becuz i love standing out. ive always had a greater respect for women with short hair anywayz but goin natural and steppin into the twa phase has been a greater love. i have no problem goin back to revisit this stage!

  • KiKiB says:

    YES! YES! YES! i TOTALLY agree in the big chop confidence boost thing.iv been natural for 5 years or more.i ALWAYS cut my hair, but never THIS short. but since cutting it this short like two weks ago i get soooo many compliments, my husband LOVES it, and i feel sooo pretty and sexy.

  • MS. FAJA says:

    I AM SO IN LOVE WITH MY HAIR! BUT MORE THAN THAT I LOVE MYSELF!! I'VE COME TO A PLACE IN MY LIFE WHERE I WAS JUST READY FOR A CHANGE. THIS IS SOMETHING I'VE WANTED TO DO FOR A LOOOONG TIME BUT UNTIL NOW HAVEN'T. NOT EVERYONE SUPPORTS MY DECISION TO CUT MY HAIR BUT IM TIRED OF BEING THE GIRL EVERYONE WANTS ME TO BE IM READY TO BE THE WOMAN THAT I AM.

  • BreukelensFinest says:

    I can relate to getting a boost. I think after my big chop, having some one look directly into my eyes made me feel like people were actually looking at me. And although how a man looks at you isnt the big deciding factor, I found that boys who appreciated me after cutting my hair off truly wanted to get to know me because they appreciated my facial beauty. Also enjoying my hair in its natural state has allowed me to focus on being healthy in other ways. Refocusing on enjoying the me i have has given me a boost. And although I dont have my TWA anymore, I still miss it from time to time. Now, I'd be impressed if some one comes on and talks about how they enjoy that awkward stage of growing out the TWA lol

  • Anonymous says:

    Going natural was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I BC'd only a week ago and had tons of encouragement from some natural friends of mine. After the BC I felt like such a beautiful and sexy diva! This is a step to a new, more confident, happier, and better me. I'm so glad I finally embraced my hair the way God intended it to look! My TWA has taught me that I (and every other woman) is gorgeous no matter how long or what texture her hair is. Although I was afraid of not looking feminine anymore I bought new hair accessories and even made some of my own to jazz up my 'do. I'm having a great time embracing my new look and have no regrets! : D

  • Dee Dubya says:

    I definitely felt sexier when I BC'd. Since I don't have much hair, I actually dress in a more feminine manner, not just showing a little more skin (when appropriate), but showing my shape, my waistline, etc. I also feel like I don't care what anyone thinks about it (besides my DH), and the more textured my hair looks, the more attractive I feel. I also think that people look at me like, "man, she must be confident to rock that short 'fro." And they are correct.

  • Coco_Curly says:

    In my opinion, I think it really depends on your readiness and if you are truely willing to BC. I know in my case I was so ready to cut off that straight hair I couldnt get in the salon chair quick enough. I waited seven months and that was only becuase of my mother's urging and the fact that people said i was to young for such a responsibility( I was 16). so once i had enough I cut it off and the immediate freedom i felt was almost overwhelming. I smiled constantly no matter what the next person said. it has been 2 years. I love the decision I made and love my hair even more.

  • Nalena says:

    When I first BC'd in college I could not stop staring at myself in the mirror and smiling! If I wasn't staring in the mirror I was feeling my scalp with that same smile. At no point in my life did I feel as feminine as I did when I had that Cesar (sic) and that experience has been duplicated every time I've cut my hair that low since that first BC.

  • KinkyCurlySoul says:

    I feel like my BC really did help my confidence. It was as if I picked that up along with all the earrings and headbands I recently purchased. The funny thing is I didn't purchase them to necessarily feel girly but because I could never fully enjoy my earrings with my longer hair.
    I don't worry about my hair any longer. I used to be so worried about how my hair looked that when it didn't look good it would ruin my day. Now because it's short, not much can be done to it and there's no fight with myself.

  • Anonymous says:

    Well, unfortunately I was not blessed with a confidence booster. I should tell that my BC was not a well-thought decision. In fact, I planned to use extensions for the whole period my hair would grow. Around 8 months after BC'd and a lot of money spent, I realised that it was not woking for me. So, I had to assume an afro. By that time, I had lived with BSL, bone straight hair for years. I had no idea how my hair was and how to care for it. The reaction around was the horrible: family, coworkers, friends… everybody hated my hair and made it clear for me. To make thinkgs worse, my boyfriend at that time, who supported me to go natural, kicked me. And to be honest, at the beginning I only wanted to change the relaxers to have curly or texturized hair. Going totaly natural wasn't in my plans. The ssearch for different relaxers only made my journey more difficult. Anyway, looking at the past, I don't know from where I took strenght to endure. And, even nowadays that I am happy with my texture, but not with the lenght, sometimes I still have some self-esteem issues.

  • Crystal Belle says:

    My BC was definitely a confidence booster. Mostly everyone that saw it loved it. There were a few who didn't, and I must admit it did bother me. However, those who were REAL friends got over their feelings and still maintained a close connection, while the others dismissed themselves from my life. I wasn't mad about it either. I thank them, because now I know who thought my hair was my source of beauty and was shallow. I look in the mirror and see ME and think, "Wow, God you are so gracious for blessing me with all this beauty!" A-hee ^_^

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