Pressured to Big Chop

What’s up, World?

As a long term transitioner, I’ve gotten used to people asking when I’m going to relax my hair again and why I was sacrificing all of my “pretty hair” to go natural, but once I give them my reasons for making the switch and tell them I like it much better, they let up. Even my mom was against my transition until I showed her that I could manage my hair in it’s natural state, at which point she became my biggest fan (GO MOM!). Now that I am beginning to master some natural styles, I mostly get compliments from natural and relaxed individuals alike…

But a few times, I have received rude comments from other naturals concerning my decision to transition for 24 months. And these aren’t just random people; these are people whom I consider to be friends, which really puzzles me.

It never fails. I inevitably get that natural friend who BC’ed after 3 or 6 months of transitioning who comes up to me, puts her hands in my hair without my permission (strike #1), then says something to the effect of, “Wow, your hair looks so nice today! You know, if you would just cut that relaxed crap off of your head, I guarantee styling your hair would be much easier”.

WHAT?! So, you stick your dirty hands in my hair (which promotes frizz, BTW), compliment my hair, then call it “crap” in the same sentence? Sorry World, you’ll have to excuse my side-eye; it’s only meant for a select few.

Honestly, I never expected to encounter this sort of opposition to my transition, and I’m still quite astonished by it. Every time I see those select few naturals, they usually go through the same routine, ending in a left-handed compliment concerning me cutting off my relaxed hair so that my hair can be “prettier” or “easier to manage”. When I counter with the fact that I am not comfortable with cutting off my relaxed ends all at once and plan to slowly trim them off while my hair grows, I get the most insulting response ever:

“Well, are you insecure about your looks? I’m sure you’d still look OK if you cut your hair off.”

WOW World… just WOW.

Maybe I just know what length I am comfortable with and am willing to work to achieve that length without a BC. Is it really so serious that you feel you need to insult me?

Here are the facts:

Every woman on this earth, including myself, is beautiful, no matter what their hair looks like. Whether you decide to sport a short, sassy, cropped natural ‘do or wait it out and sport a full mane of curly, coily, kinky hair magic- – it’s up to you and only you! Just as you should never allow anyone’s comments to send you back to the relaxer, you should never allow anyone else’s words to push you into BC’ing before you feel it’s right for you. As one of my more mature friends said, “BC’ing requires a big change on your part and should only be done when you are ready’. I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Ladies, when you feel it’s the right time to BC, by all means, BC. I’m not against BC’ing at all… but if you don’t feel it’s the right time or you don’t feel comfortable with that length of hair and you feel as if you can continue with your transition, then continue. No matter what decision you make, whether it be cutting you hair, growing it out and slowly trimming away (like myself), or even returning to the relaxer, be sure that it is done with your happiness in mind. After all, it is YOUR hair, and at the end of the day, YOU are the one who has to be happy with it.

Love, Peace, and Support,


Can any of you relate?