Katrina writes:
Like most naturals, I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. When it is fab – I feel fab and nobody outside of Jesus himself can tell me a THANG! However… there have been numerous times on this natural trip where I’m like, “You know what? FUHGETABOUTIT! I can’t do this anymore! Creamy crack, where you at??”
And then I come to my senses and realize how hard I’ve worked to get where I am and how I love my little coils more and more each day.
So, look at your journey. All the joys and struggles.
Have you ever though about going back?
I know i'm late, but sometimes I regret not transitioning longer for more hair to work with. I have around 3 inches of hair and it doesn't hold two strand twists or flat twists so protective styles are hard to come by. I do love my hair regardless though because it's mine and it is still healthy.
Yes, I might be going back, but first I want to try to wear press sometimes. I use to wear my hair in a cropped pixie and this was my "it factor" style. I work out a lot and the natural is great for that. I really miss my short flat do, so I am willing to try to cut it and wear a press out from time to time.
in short…not one time it's been over 2 years and my only negative thought has been i wish i never relaxed my hair at all…no regrets otherwise..i love my hair, i love God for created me the way He saw fit…and it's a good thing.
All the time! In fact I broke down and got a brazilian treatment. I haven't found a good balance with my non-defined curl hair. And I got tired of seeing my hair come out in clumps in my comb.
I have thought about it and I have went back. I am on my third stretch in being natural. The first time I just didn't know what I was doing. I assume it was so long ago I really can't remember. The second time I had wonderful hair, ran out of styling ideas and then I decided to lock it up. Then I didn't want the locks anymore and picked them apart. Of course my hair was not the same. And then a life changing event happened and sent me for a wholewind because somewhere in that I was like I want a killer bob. It was cute, but I hated the whole straight hair routine, and I kept trying to do my kinky hairstyles :-). If you havn't guessed I can be a littel fickle. I a really convinced I will stay natural now mostly because of my baby girl, I can't stand the smell of relaxers, I don't like heat on my hair and my hair is almost back to where it was the second time around.
I would never ever go back, or i have never really haved 100% straigth and relaxed hair, but i would never do it.
And if the thought migth cross my mind i'm just like.
Curls are uniqe, and they are all differet and you can be sure nobodys hair will be exactly the way yours are. And even if i relaxed my hair is not gonna grow faster, and when i stuck with (lovely) natural hair it must grow long one day( shoulder length or bra strap length with natural dry hair is my goal!) with the care i'm giving it. 🙂
I love my hair, and here in DK, it make you stand out on a great way.
I'll be honest: YES, I have thought about going back. I stopped relaxing in January of this year, and big chopped almost exactly a month ago. When I was relaxed, my hair was MBL. It is now about 2 inches.
The funny thing is, I LOVE my hair short. Even though it's barely 2 inches, it never ceases to amaze me how my hair looks different every morning when I take off my scarf. As though my hair is trying to prove to me that she is versatile & worth my patience. (Does that even make sense?)lol.
I actually don't have perm horror stories, I decided to go natural b/c I felt it was something I needed to do to learn more about myself the way God intended. But there are times I miss my long hair or get tired of my TWA…when those times come, I consider my options:
1.) Wear weave/wigs? NO. I've always disliked false hair.
2.) Go back to relaxers? NO. I have nothing against straight hair, but I never want to permanently straighten my hair again.
So it's either braids, or TWA love for me, baby! And for now, I choose the latter, not the former 🙂
every time i see someone with extra straight hair and blunt cut bangs i consider going back, lol…..
just kidding, i bc'd Feb 2003 and though the grass always seems greener on the other side i would never really actually go through with it because of how horribly fried my poor hairs were when they were chemically and heat treated regularly….
I never go back. The relaxer was eating out my sides and i hated having to put in every 8 weeks. I'm happy to be natural even when I feel frustrated with my hair.
I haven't thought of going back to perm but straightening my hair plenty of times but it more of a style decision. I get sick of just have same texture so i want curls or stick straight or my fav waves. But I want more length first and to solve my growth pause issue.
I don't know how this is but I have less hair shedding they I have have every had my whole life but I seem to be getting no length (in about 8 months). But my goal is what preventing me from ironing my hair.
Has anyone had this problem before no length but less shedding? I mean my hair to get more growth than this before (when I used to have a lot more shedding and breakage) but now I don't understand why I have made no progress? My length hasn't moved at all. I might have to go with braid extensions until I can solve the issues. Unless one of you gals could help me? Curly Nikki? Any one?
Thought about it last week and right now. I went natural because I had really thin hair, Its been over 2yrs since the big chop and my hair is still thin 🙁
I have been natural for 10 years and even in the early days I never thought about going back. With all the products, blogs and other naturals to reach out to going back has not crossed my mind. With so many other options, weaves, wigs, braids, straightening, etc it seems better to be natural, Most importantly, healthier hair.
Nope. No way. Never. *shakes head* I spent my 11 month transition period doing heavy research on caring for my natural hair, and I found products that work well. I would never return to the world of relaxer burns. XD
This post hit me today. I actually WENT back. After being natural for 6 six years, going from a TWA to chin-length natural hair, then locks that grew to shoulder length, then cut them off to another TWA, I finally gave in to the creamy crack for that "Halle Berry" do. Now I'm back to a TWA and realizing that the issue has never been with my hair, but with my perception of me and my hair. Yeah, this journey really is a psychological one, at least for me. But I have to thank Curly Nikki for this site for not only the fab styles, but the Couch as well!
Before I discovered curlynikki I was seriously considering going back to the creamy crack. However, since I have been exposed to the whole natural hair community on the internet (blogs and youtube) I have never looked back. I absolutely love love love my hair and I am learning more about it every day
Go back to my hair breaking off, stunted growth, burns in my scalp, thin hair, and hair just randomly falling out? I can honestly say I've never thought of getting another relaxer and never will!
Yep, I am not gonna even lie, after continuously dealing with the whole detangeling process I thought"forget this!!" but my answer, LOCKS!! Now I am truly happy, nappy and FREEEE, IT WORKS FOR ME!
Yes, I have frequently thought about going back. I like big sexy hair like Curly Nikki's hair, I have some serious styling issues. I can't hardly ever get the same look twice recently no matter what style I wear I get loads of compliments just not the same style twice 🙂
Hey nikki. Naturally Leslie just had the SAME question… and here's (EXACTLY) what I said:
Hey Leslie. I'm a current transitioner (going on 6 months in). I decided to go natural back in April when I decided that I was TIRED of being ASHAMED of my new growth. (I was one of those who relaxed her hair to fit in with the straighter-textured women of america.) It took me a while to fall in love with the pen-spring coils that are growing from my head… but I did.
Just recently, though, I straightened my hair. I remember complaining that my transitioning do is easier (i wear a phony pony bun) b/c my straight hair wouldnt always lay right.
Later that week, when I decided to do my first ever cowash on my transitioning hair, I kinda missed how pretty my straight hair looked. I began to get angry with Karma and her Karmenettes (that's my hair) for being so hard to comb through. Then it shrunk up SO fast. It began to look unmanagable to me.
I can actually say that I thought about relaxing my hair… maybe using this period to "stretch" my relaxers. I could still use protective styles and make my goal of healthier longer hair. But I'm gonna stick with it.
Just today my mom (who was against me going natural at first) told me that my hair was pretty (as she ran her hand across my slick backed style). Then we both admired a woman in Wally World with a GORGEOUS twist out. I decided then that I'm gonna stick to this. I can always straighten my hair the way I did last time if I start to miss straight hair. But I know my reasons for doing this and would hate to regret relaxing and have to start over later.
Sorry this was such a long comment. This post just really hit home.
I am having a bad hair day today but relaxing it never crossed my mind. I am natural for life.
I went natural specifically to break free from being dependent on salons and stylists. Consequently for many years any time I thought about "going back to the crack" I thought about all those years in salons where I basically paid stylists to jack my hair up. The two were inextricably linked for me.
However, if back then I could have found a way to self-relax in the comfort of my own home without damaging my hair and scalp, I might have never gone natural. After having read self-relaxing threads and seen videos on YouTube, this year was the first time I seriously thought about self-texturizing. (Those who know me will be shocked, lol…) At this point it wouldn't be me "going back"…it'd be me "trying something new" after 15 years of natural hair.
The big thing stopping me is the fact that I want to spend as little time on my hair as possible. I have a pretty good idea of the kind of regimen I'd have to adopt in order to maintain healthy-looking chemicalized hair and it's truly more time than I want to spend. Also, given that I already don't trust stylists, the odds of me finding a stylist I could trust and afford and could give me the result I want is practically nil. So I'm still natural, and I'm fine with it…
i actually have
i had those thoughts more when I was transitioning. I have them now when I see women who have acheieved long relaxed hair and its not a hot mess.
Yes, but that thouht quickly went away. I love my kinks and curls.
I couldn't sit in a chair again and let someone burn my scalp to a crisp and then pay them money for doing so.
But I have thought about straightening my hair with heated appliances and cutting it shorter. I wanted to just give up growing it longer. It's a hard journey.
I'm glad that I did the BC b/c otherwise, I might have gone back by now. I'm not sure why though. And it makes no sense b/c the only frustration I have is the length (short) but that's what's keeping me from relaxing some days.
I miss having my long hair. I miss the gorgeous roller sets & silky breezy blowouts I used to get. My sister came over the other day for my mother to touch up her relaxer. I helped her rinse it out & just seeing all that silky straight long hair just did something to me lol. I think it was the length more than the relaxed hair.
The funny thing is, she turned around while I was combing her out & said "I might go natural after this relaxer, let's see how it goes". I started talking about transitioning & she was talking about CHOPPING IT ALL OFF! I never thought she would go for that! Her hair is really thick and loooong. It's relaxed but she maintains it well so it is healthy. Her attitude about going natural reinforced my hair goals. I know the length will come back so I'm going to stop worrying about it.
I'll distract myself playing around with my 'fro's new length.
I thought about it ONCE…I was not truly natural. I was still wearing wigs, and braids but I was tired of that but didn't know anything about wearing my natural curls yet. I did some homework, and made an appointment with a friend's stylist to slick the creamy crack back into my head. I stayed up all night taking out braids adn was looking a little like our friend buckwheat. I am the FIRST person to admit it. I didn't care cause I was on my way back to a relaxer. I had never been to this person before nor this part of town.
I was her first appointment for the day. It was a hair salon called Rumors (big in Denver) and it had a hair salon on one side and a barber on the other. Well, I got lost. I tried my best to mapquest and have my husband to help me find that darn place! I finally get there 20 minutes late with my hair all over my head. I'm like…here I come! I walk in and no one is in sight. I was truly the first person of the day. Now on the Barber side it was full but I didn't look in that direction too hard cuase I know I looked a sight! That woman looked at my head and fixed her face to tell me she couldn't do my hair! I was late! I told her I had a horrible time finding the place and had never been to that part of town. She even had the NERVE to be smiling about it. I tried to reason and then flat-out ARGUE with her but even though there wasn't a soul in the place she didn't have the time to fit me in.
I left crying and if I saw that woman today I would thank her. She kept me from making the worst hair mistake of my life!
I have thought about going back and actually ended up going back after a few years natural. It was fun for a while but I got tired of it really quick. I ended up going back natural but instead of having bra strap length hair, I had to start out with 1 inch. I don't regret my decision b/c I'm pretty stubborn sometimes. I had to learn the hard way and I'm pretty sure now I'll never go back.
I've had a similar type of experience, but not for a relaxer…
I've been natural for a very long time, 15 years, and my hair is very long now- past breast length if I stretch my curls out. When it was shorter the curls were easier to deal with. Super curly hair at this length is SO HARD to deal with. I hadn't considered getting a relaxer, even though my stylist who flat irons it for me every now and then would always pester me about it.
Well, at some point about a year ago I really lost touch with my hair and it was becoming really dry and brittle. I remember one defining moment when I washed it and couldn't for the life of me detangle it in the shower. So much hair was breaking off! I got out and tried to detangle it to put it in a few braids and it just locked together and any attempt to unlock them would cause breakage. I was so frustrated I started shedding tears! I was ten seconds from grabbing the scissors and removing chunks! I felt so lost and upset that I literally ran to my computer and put an add on Craigslist asking for any black hair stylist to help me with this mess, lol.
Shortly after, I did some internet searching and found Nikki's blog and I couldn't be happier. Now my natural locks and I are co-existing peacefully once again.
I think my sister is not happy with the progress that her hair is making so far. She states that it is really growing at a slow rate, but I think that it looks really good. My hair is natural as well, and i cut my twists off last yr after having them for 5yrs they were mbl. But cut it down to 2 inches in 3/09 and my hair is now shoulder length when strength. But even though my sis just had her baby girl 4wks ago, her hair didn't grow as much as she thought it would. But I like her hair, I think in another couple of months she will see more length and texture of her type 4 thick hair.
Every now and then it comes to mind, but I never actually make any plans with intentions of carrying them out. Sometimes I'll get frustrated and think about getting a relaxer, but then I look at how healthy my hair is & remember how UNHEALTHY it was with relaxers, not to mention all the breakage.
I've been natural for almost two years, but have kept it braided for most of that time.. I've only been really styling my own hair for about a month now, so I'm trying to have patience & learn which products are right for my hair. It's rough sometimes, but it's worth it.
I have been natural for 3 years now and never wanted to go back to the creamy crack. There were a few times I got frustrated with my hair and tirelessly tried to search for ways to manage my hair but no, creamy crack has not been on my mind.
Uh yes! Just yesterday was thinking about the creamy crack.
I am not new to the BC, but I feel like my hair is taking soooo long to grow. I am rockn' the TWA…and it's barely that because when I chop, I CHOP!
Ok, the real problem is I have no patience, never have.
I want to start twisting and trying some other styles, but I am still too short.
*sigh*…guess I just needed to say it.
No creamy crack for me.
I stopped relaxing my hair for a number of reasons, but high on the list was that I thought it would be easier. Come to find out, natural hair is just as much work as relaxed hair; it's just a different kind of work. Plus, I like to change my hair a lot, and I just cannot get my hair to look good when it's straight (part of that could be that I am now afraid of using too much heat). Anyway, I'm natural, and I usually love it. Thanks for asking this question, and thanks to all of the women out there that have been HONEST in answering it.
For me, it’s like this…before I went natural, I didn’t know better; now I do and to go back to doing what I KNOW is wrong for me would be crazy!! I couldn't even use ignorance as an excuse. I would have to find another alternative, even if that meant just shaving it all off!!
YES!!!!! Just the other day my boyfriend and I saw this attractive woman with waist-length straight hair which she was tossing over her shoulders. Nevermind that I know that I have been conditioned by main stream media to define beauty as long silky locks. Intellectually, I know this. But there are times when I miss tossing my long, straight hair about secure in the knowledge that most men regarded me as desirable. Then I work my way out of my funk, rock a huge chunky fro, and say "F$ck it, I know I'm beautiful!"
I am too broke to even think about going back 🙂
I've been natural almost a year and it's def been a lot of ups and downs… In the beginning I was faithful to my local Dominican salon for blow-outs… I wasn't ready to embrace the "real" texture. Then the humidity of summer came and I had no choice. The first month or so was riddled with a bunch of hairstyle "fails" and I considered dropping some major cheese on a silkener but the frugalista in me wouldn't allow it. So finally with the help of some natural friends and curlynikki.com I have found some styles that look fab on me and I can do them myself…score!
I've thought about straightening my hair for 'special events,' but never going back to a relaxer.
Now that I know all of the dangers associated with relaxers, I couldn't (in good moral conscious) do it again.
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NEVER! NOT EVER! I will say though that I do have conversations with my scissors and my brother's clipper's when I get frustrated about BC'ing again. But then I go online for inspiration and see a fellow curlies Big Beautiful Healthy fro and remember that if I made it this far I will adventually reach my goal. My 2 year curly anniversary is coming up (Sep 16)and I'm celebrating by getting my hair straightened for the first time.
I've bc'd several times over the last 15 years, but hope this time will be a different experience. For a variety of reasons, I always saw a BC as a temporary rest from chemicals. I always went back after a year or so to either a full-on relaxer or a texturizer. Last year, around this time, I had a beautiful head of natural hair and texturized it after it got too long and bushy to maintain. I had no idea how to style it or knew about products to use or had a routine. I could kick myself. Now, after a recent BC, I'm once again back at square one. But this time, I have some natural hair tools to work with thanks to curlynikki.com and other internet sources. Hopefully, next year this time, I'll still be natural.
i have never thought bout goin back.i have bad hair days but i have never thought about it.once i had a dream that my friends put relaxer in my hair…i woke up angry…that was a nightmare even though it doesnt sound like it.
When I did my big chop I deccided to to it myself, no help. Everything was fine until I took the clippers to even it up. The guard came off the clipper just as I was coming up through the crown of my head!!! I ended up with a two inch gap dead center of my head. Ugghh!!! Oh well it was winter so I just wore my No one knew and I never looked back. Love ,love, love natural me.
I think about getting a relaxer every time I have to detangle my hair or sometimes after having a few bad hair days in a row. But with the detangling, I just remind myself that it will be over soon – And the bad hair days, I just put my hair in braids so that I don't have to think about it.
Nope, no regrets. Honestly, the creamy crack scares me and it smells weird. That's enough to keep me in natural land. Yeah, I get frustrated but that's what hats, headbands and scarves are for. Even a wig if you're adventurous but no chemical is going near my scalp.
I think about perming my hair EVERY TIME I wash/condition/detangle/blowdry it. I've been transitioning for about 9 months now, so I still have 2 textures to work with. I don't think I'll look good with short hair, which is why I decided to transition on a long term basis. When I had a perm, I washed my hair, wrapped it w/ setting lotion & sat under the dryer, so I guess I miss the ease & quickness of that process. I've never been a big fan of hair salons, so I just tough it out & make it work. However I LOOOOOVE the fullness of a natural blow out. When I used to perm my hair it never had this much body & looked kinda "scalpy."
While detangling I just sing, "One day at a time sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you. Just gimmie the strength to do everything that I have to do"… LOL
Again, as many others have already posted. I truly understand the frustration. I can't say that I ever longed for a relaxer again. But I have in moments of frustration thought I should just heat style it more often. But then to me….that becomes a hassle too. But as one natural said above. I have good days and bad days. Some days I can't get it to look like I want, and other days it looks great and I am in love. But I agree also finding the right products, hair routines that work for each individual is key.
A perm is not longer an option for me…I do have some challenging hair days, but I agree with some of the readers' comments that I accept my own hair, so that's enough to help me weather the challenging days. And fortunately, those are few and far between because I've done the work to know what products and styles work best.
This question is right on time for me. That exact idea had just crossed my mind! Not even sure where it stemmed from. I still have an area that's shorter then the other sections of my hair that's coming along but prevents me from wearing some styles I'd like to try so I know that's a key factor. But right after that thought I envisioned my hair @ 2yrs natural and knew I wasn't changing a thing!
I thought about gettng a perm back in October 2009, after a bout with some serious heat damage, because I didn't want to cut my hair again. I was going to perm it and then transition again, but I decided to just cut my ends every once in awhile and I'm glad I didn't go with the perm because it didn't take long to grow my hair back out.
The only time I came close to thinking about going back was right after I big chopped. I was self concious about having SHORT natural hair because I had LONG straight hair all of my teen and adult life.
When I get discouraged, bored, or frustrated with my hair, I twist it up and put it away!
I'm considering a wig also!
i've considered cutting off all my hair and rocking a low-cut, but never the relaxer. i've actually had nightmares when i wake up clutching my head thinking someone has slapped a relaxer on my head without my consent, and thankfully my kinks are reassuringly there. any time my hair starts getting too stressful for me (i.e. when i'm too stressed to give my hair the tlc it deserves) i get braids to rest it for a couple months until i'm back ready to give it the love it needs.
Sure I think about it, But I also think about the chemical burns, not being able to scratch my head before a relaxer and the money……Going natural wasn't a choice for me sice I have scarring alopecia. My hair was speaking to me and after almost 20 years of frying and dying, I am listening and I love it!! No going back…….
nope. not now, not ever. if i ever want the straight look/ more manageability i'll just straighten/flat-iron/press/blow out to get that look or get a wig/weave…never ever going to chemicals…
I did the BC back in May, first month I felt like the ugly duckling! Really its crazy! I felt like I couldn't go certain places, or talk to guys really anymore because I didn't think they would approve of my new look. But now I can say I'm finally getting used to it! My hair is growing Fast! So thats exciting. Yes I get frustrated with my hair because its getting to an awkard length, However I would never go back to "Creamy Crack". I wasnt made for it!
The longer it gets, the more I want to pull it out sometimes, lol. I'm still learning how to flat twist and cornrow my hair (no luck yet) and maybe then I could wear some protective styles that I actually like.
I never thought about going back to the perm, because it never worked for me anyway. A majority of my frustration stemmed from not understanding my hair, period (pressed, relaxed, natural, jheri curl, etc.). I just wanted to know how to take care of the hair God blessed me with in life. No more, no less. I tend to wear my natural hair, because it works for me and I love it. The greatest part of this journey has been accepting myself and others for who they are in life. It is a beautiful place to be and I am thankful. Live, Love, Peace. ~Sweetsop
The day I did my chop, I immediately regretted it. When I got home, I looked in the mirror and texted (is that a word?) my stylist and told her I needed an appointment for a texturizer! I was sad about my hair b/c it looked nothing like I expected. I'm glad to say that I resisted! I logged onto curlynikki.com and visited the fb profiles of some of my natural sisters and boosted my confidence! A month later I'm still natural and loving it!
honestly i thought about going back twice in the past two weeks. i've been transition long term and getting brave with new styles and products, fail!!! don't want to go back, to stubborn.
I've only been natural for 5 months and only once have I thought about going back–but then again, I was having a really bad hair day! But then I think about all the trouble I had to go through with my hair when it was relaxed and I quickly realize how glad I am that I'm natural 🙂
I've thought about going back, plenty of times! I totally understand what you're talking about. Most days my hair and I get along just fine, I can appreciate my coils etc. But I wear mostly protective styles (because its easy to manage during the week) but when I do the take down, and detangling and think about the time I'm going to put in re-braiding, sometimes I just get frustrated and think It's time for a relaxer.
thanks goodness i have not looked back since going natural, but i do know of quite a few friends who have fallen off the wagon. and i mostly feel bad because, in some months, they are going to want to start the transition all over again. time wasted.
I think people get frustrated when they're looking for something that's not meant to be, especially their hair textures and stuff. I just bc'd after a year of transitioning and I didn't expect anything other than type 4 hair, which is what i have. I'm not looking for curl definition or anything to make it look like what it isn't, so I don't really get that frustrated.
I've been natural for 2 years now and I haven't thought about going back not once. Yes, I've had plenty of "bad hair days" as a natural, but I had plenty of those days when I was relaxed, too. Knowing and loving my hair like I do now, a relaxer is not even an option.
I haven't thought about getting a perm, but if I get tired of my hair then I go for kinky twists or cornrows so that I don't have to deal with it. Works, because within a couple of weeks I'm feigning for my curls again 😀
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I can understand that feeling. It creeped into my head a few times before I found the right products for my hair and it got long enough for quick styles (e.g. spin pins).
What stopped me from going to the "crack" was realizing how fine my hair is. It cannot handle a relaxer…it breaks and I would be stuck at shoulder length once again. So, understanding my hair helps me make the best choice.
Don't give up ladies!
I haven't ever thought about going back in the 6 years I've been natural but in moments of frustration I've thought about getting micro braid extentions. I don't see anything wrong with them but for me its a cop-out to not learn how to take proper care of my hair. I promsied myself I'd learn how to do quick styles for those "bad hair" days so I wouldn't have to get micro braids ever again. The last time I got them was well over a year ago, so I'm doing well. Although I have moments where I think how easy it would be to not have to do my hair for two or three months. Even as I write that, there's a part of me that sings a lullaby about just how great extensions are. (NO Sheena. Learn to style your own hair and be ok with it!!!) Sigh.