Charla writes:
Hey Nikki!
So I was thinking about the “honeymoon phase” that many naturals go through with their hair after the big chop (or mini chop in some cases). That is something that I’ve experienced as well. I was COMPLETELY in love with the texture I hadn’t seen in 18+ years and couldn’t get enough of my natural coils. But today I was thinking, maybe that honeymoon phase was to cover up deeper feelings I kept hidden about my hair. I tell you I was styling my hair every other day because I wanted to see everything it could do! Twists one day, twist out the next day, random WnG thrown in the mix, and an attempt at flat twists that turned into a puff – all in the same week! To be honest I am still in the honeymoon phase now. I love Chlo “The Fro” Bella!!!! (that is my hair’s name, lol)
I feel like there are a few reasons that I was so smitten with styling my new hair:
1) I was interested to see what it could do.
2) I was determined to show everyone else that being natural doesn’t mean you can only wear a fierce fro everyday! It means that you have options and a whole lot more fun =]3) I was possibly styling my hair for myself, to convince my own mind that I truely loved what I saw in the mirror. By no means was this love affair a hoax or a fake image, but just maybe I was attempting to prove to myself that I made the right decision.
My question to the lovely CN community is this:
I am DEFINITELY in the Honeymoon phase. Like, I cannot stop playing with my hair which is apparently a terrible habit that causes breakage– but it's so fascinating. I had no idea what kind of hair I had (I thought I was just Black Hair, like, kinky…and thats it) and now I cant stop playing with the curls. AGGGH.
I haven't had a relaxer in over a year and was just wearing braids to transition. I recently (3 days ago) decided to wear my hair out and I can't get out of the mirror! Reading these replies and seeing that I'm not the only one who spends hoursssss watching youtube videos, reading blogs, and buying products makes me feel SO much better!! I LOVE MY NATURAL HAIR and its making me love the rest of me too!! 😉
I am definitely still in the honeymoon phase with my hair, but I feel like I am slowly transitioning to that comfortable familiar place where I am not styling and playing with it constantly, thank goodness! Its not good for my hair to be constantly manipulated, it breaks easy and I am wanting to grow it long.
I too definately went through the honeymoon stage. My hair and I are now on the same page. I have been natural for about 7 years now – 5.5 of those years I was loc'd. I personally consider locing an easy natural. When I let that puppy go (I took down my locs, I did not chop), whewwwww. the lion was out the cage. The fun began. I wanted to play. I researched and researched and was a product junkie. Now 1.5 years later we are no longer fighting, we trust each other, we communicate well together. I am on a journey to grow it as long as I can and to get it as healthy as I can. I love my natural and have been an inspiration to a few sisters at my job that considered going natural, but was afraid to do so. I am past the honeymoon stage now and I am in a deep, longterm, committed marraige. We are going to grow old together and look good doing it.
I BC 19 days ago to be exact, yeap I got a tickler counting somewhere, I though I was going crazy but now I see that most naturals go through this… all I think about is hair, forum, youtube, and more youtube, product reviews so I guess I'll enjoy the honeymoon but seriously I need to toned it down a bit.
I have to say that I have always loved my hair…relaxed or natural because it could be put through so much and still come out looking good and strong. I've had situations where hairstylists told me that if it was anyone else's hair, they would have ended up bald.
So I've always loved that hardiness about my hair, but being natural takes it to another level.
This is my second BC and I still cannot keep my fingers out of my head. I LOVE my kinks and curls. I just love the texture. I love that I can pull on a corkscrew kink and watch it unfurl. I can walk in the rain. I can swim as much as I want. I can roll out of bed and start my day without dreading about what to do with my hair.
It's the way it is suppose to be. It's a God-given gift.
I definitely went through the honeymoon phase. In the beginning I was obsessed with natural hair websites and forums. I practically lived on Nappturality. I'd be on the forum almost all day. Around the same time, I started documenting my own hair journey and started a natural hair comic strip. When I got to the 3rd year of being natural, the honeymoon was over. My natural hair became just another part of me and I didn't really give it much thought. I updated my website a lot less frequently and I stopped doing the comic strips for a while. I still love my hair, but I am not nearly as obsessed as I was in the beginning. Now mind you, while in the middle of the honeymoon period, I did have a lot of hair "blah" moments. I spent plenty of time in the mirror staring at my hair wondering what the heck I was going to do with it (honestly, I still do at times). Now I've been natural for over five years and my focus has shifted from my own hair to learning to care for my 2-year-old daughter's hair. My goal is for her to love her natural hair as much as I love mine.
I grew weary relying on someone else to "do" my hair–as in professional stylists. It was exciting to do other things besides roll (with pink sponge curlers) and/or wrap at home, what I used to do with relaxed hair. Shunning the pool, rain and any water was suddenly a thing of the past. There was a freedom and extra FRESHNESS, for lack of a better description, with natural hair that was never there before. Also, it was fun experimenting with delicious-smelling products. I did not do this with relaxed hair or feel compelled to do this with relaxed hair. Just stuck with about 3 or 4 staples. (Products loaded with stuff that's not all that great for our hair.)Every two weeks, after a long wait in a crowded beauty shop that usually reeked of chemicals and frying hair my hair FINALLY got watered at the stylist's shampoo bowl. Now if something doesn't work out or look right, I just step back in the shower and start over again. I rarely did this with salon hair that wasn't working for me. Getting fresh/clean hair any time I wanted felt great and so liberating! No more two-week-old smelling hair. (Anyone trying to "preserve" the hair until the next salon visit knows that distinctive smell.) Hair styling at home was just more fun. So how long did this "honeymoon" phase last? 14 years and counting.
After 9 months B/C I am out of the infatuation stage with my hair, and into the love affair. I couldn't be happier with my texture and it works into my active lifestyle as I only do wash 'n gos. Initially I tried so many products and styles (twist out, braid out) and it was a little much. Now that I've found my simple routine and am consistent, things are easier and I spend less time thinking about, and fussing with, my hair. It's now just a part of my everyday life, just one small part of the whole. I think I'm headed to a lifetime of marital bliss.
I would definitely say that I am no longer in the honeymoon phase… but I am still in a good place. I understand my kinky-curls and have started to accept that it will not be "spirals" that one day graze my shoulders (unless pressed out). To be honest… that was a bit disappointing (just being real) – but I have learned to LOVE what God has given me and tried new styles that those without my kinky-curls could not achieve. So… I love it!!! Also, the more length I get… the more I fall back in love with it!! I'll be celebrating 1 year natural Sept. 17th… and I am SOOO produ of how I have learned to love my hair and myself as a whole through this process.
I'm 5 months into my transition and I feel like I am in the "courtship stage". I'm learning my hair just like I would learn a new guy that I was dating. Every night my hand touches my hair I find out new things about it – what it likes and doesn't like. This journey is exciting to me right now because its forcing me to understand that my hair really has a mind of its own. Although I want it to do something, doesn't mean that when I style it its going to do that! I'm learning to love it, own it, and rock whatever my hairstyle is each day! Right now I'm feeling like this courtship could definitely turn into a beautiful marriage!
I have been natural for almost 2 years now and I love "learning" my hair.
When you are natural, you are FORCED to learn your hair. You can't rely on a beautician to maintain it or even weave (which has been my downfall). SN: I love a pack of weave, Okayyy????!!.
Anywho, You must do research on products, what's in the the products and how they all affect your hair.
I still feel like I am on the "Honeymoon" stage of my Natural Hair journey. I have grown to love my natural coils more and more each day. 🙂
i don't think "phase" comes to mind when i think of the love i have for my hair. i've found a deep admiration and appreciation for it. i love when i might try and coax it into something and it does it's own thing. i love how i have perfectly tamed curls on Sunday and it turns into a wild, bad ass afro by Friday! i'm realizing that i never liked my hair straight, so i'm hoping my love for my natural hair is not a phase.
I have a tumultuous relationship with my hair. I have been natural for about a year now and recently decided that flat ironing it every two weeks was defeating the purpose of being natural. SOO I have started experimenting with WNG's however, somedays I love it and others not so much. I have done alot of research and I have found some staple products that wrk for me. But its like Im just NOT feeling it EVERYDAY, even though on the surface I wear it confidently.
I have cheek length wavy and curly hair (since I was rocking an A symmetrical bob when i was keeping it flat ironed) so i suppose its the lenth of my curls that bother me some days. But again Other days you cant tell me NOTHING lol.
I hope that soon My hair and I can stop with this off and on fling and live in marital bliss. 🙂 im guessing this will happen once i have retained a comfortable length.
Yes, I love my hair. But it has nothing to do with me trying to convince myself what that I truly loved what I saw in the mirror…
For me, I was more mad at myself for not going natural sooner. I bought into this idea that I automatically had "bad hair" because I was African American and that I couldn't get a comb through it or do anything to it…
When I bc'd and saw that not only was my hair GORGEOUS but that I could do more to it NOW than I did with a relaxer, I was happy and just want to keep trying new things. And if I wanted to wear it straight every once in a while, I can do that to! 🙂
FYI– I love this site: www.beadsbraidsbeyond.com (I think this is the website) She does sooo many things to her daughter's hair, it is amazing!!! I love it!
whenever i like something, i like it HARD and intense lol. So that meant countless hours reading hair blogs, checking out inspiration, buying a bajillion products, washing my hair and deep conditioning lots, playing in my hair WAY too much. I still love it, it's so soft and my curl pattern is becoming much more pronounced, I guess from good treatment. I'm still loving my hair, just not as ocd with it, haha.
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