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Curly Nikki

Self Concept Thursday!

By January 27th, 202118 Comments

Self Concept Thursday!

So What?

written by GG of Peace, Love and Pretty Things

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Author Unknown

So what if your manager didn’t praise you for how well you did on that project? So what if your child is not a straight A student? So what if you don’t have a brand new car like your neighbor? So what if you are 30 and have not conquered the world yet? So what if you are in debt? Should you feel unworthy, inadequate or ashamed? Of course not! I say, So What? You try it. So what??

Think about why these things bother you so much. Are you worried about what people think? Do you think someone else is getting an edge up on you? Do you think you are missing something? Do you worry that you will be left behind? Are you worried about losing something that defines you? Are you scared to fail? Scared to succeed? Scared that it’s too late???

As long as you believe that someone or something outside of yourself can deny your good, you are not ready to have it.

When you make your happiness dependent on a particular turn of events, this is a sure way to lead yourself right into disappointment and stress. People will not always praise you, uplift you, or even notice you when you wish they would. Circumstances change without warning, and challenges may seem to appear every time you are ready to move forward, blocking you from carrying out your plans. When the resulting anger, frustration and fear build up, we often want to look outward to assign blame.

Life is a mystery that we must unravel at our own pace and in our own way. If you allow the external things that you see to determine how you feel about your life, peace will continue to elude you. If you focus all of your attention on the center of your being and ask yourself “What is it that I must learn?” The answers will come.

You are on a journey of love and discovery – not a race to the finish. The truth is that while you are walking along in this life, leaving your footprints here and there, acquiring things and losing things, making strides and losing your footing – so is everyone else. There is no finish line or final exam. It’s self-defeating to compare yourself or to try and prove yourself to anyone because your journey is beautifully yours and yours alone.


  • Aja says:

    This is inspiring and so beautifully written!
    You speak the truth, and it is important for
    each of us to continue to remember that we are all unique little brush strokes in the painting of life. We should be glad for & welcome that kind of individuality!
    I'm looking forward to sharing this point. I have two (twin) nieces that just started the 11th grade today & with the pressures of school and trying to learn one’s self, this would be a great & positive message for them to receive.

  • always4evamoi says:

    Amen!!! This post was right on time 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous 11:28 AM, I feel your pain. I turned 40 earlier this year, and am not married and have no children as yet. And yes, I said as yet. I realized though that my life is still full in other ways. I travel, I am completing a doctorate, and I work full time. These are things that realistically I could not have done with a family. Sure it is possible, but I am not the most effective multitasker.

    Do you know when it got somewhat "easier" for me? When I stopped comparing myself to other people, and asked God to open the doors that He wants me to walk through, and close the ones that I shouldn't. It sounds simple, but it is true.

    Listen to me, DO NOT measure yourself by someone else's version of success. You have a lot to be thankful for. Start listing them NOW. For me, I thank God for another day above ground and second chances.

    Please respond to let us know if you how you are doing.

    NYC Blessings

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous 11:28 Do Not Give Up: Think of your ancestors who survived slavery so that you could be here today. If not for yourself, then keep going in memory and respect for them.

  • Courtie says:

    Anonymous 11:28 AM: DO NOT GIVE UP.

    Yeah, it seems easy for other people, but you don't know their struggle anymore than they know yours. You can't judge yourself on someone else's life. Just hang in there, okay? I know you're tired, but just keep your head up.

  • Anonymous says:

    Most of who you are internally comes from external sources. It is so easy to say "so what" when you have what you need to conquer these obstacles. It hurts when you constantly see all of the things and experiences you will never have i.e. families, children, career, couples, love, etc. I have come to the conclusion that this life is not for everyone and I have lost all motivation to…
    It is interesting how something things just come to some people but other people have to go through a process before they can have the same things…I am tired of hearing "you need to love yourself first" and those other things people say…why can't you help me learn how to love me or…nevermind…this is pointless…just tired of fighting…has one foot out the door…

  • curls and coils says:

    Again I must say thank you. The moment I threw my hands up and said "so what, what will be will be" I got a phone call that changed the situation I was worrying about for the better.

  • Anonymous says:

    Well this is so very true, I definitely relate to all of this. I have felt unworthy, not feeling as loved as my sister is, just feeling that whatever I do is never enough. Always wondering about others and what they think of me, alot of this has caused me to be so stressed out that I have now developed panic attacks. I know that it's basically up to me to change for the better and not let family,associates,friends or lack thereof get to me. I've been trying to find a job for awhile now and thats depressing enough as it is, but I know that I must keep up the faith and know that I can do it because no one can help me.

  • Stephanie says:

    Wow! This is powerfully inspirational for me. Thank you

  • dargirl says:

    I too normally don't read the Thursday affirmations. But this post is excellent and timely! Like everyone else, I too am making a real effort to live in the "now" rather than in the future–which has always been my habit. I truly have much to be grateful for in life.

  • Anonymous says:

    I have tears in my eyes… this is exactly what I needed today, this week, this month, this summer, THIS YEAR! Amen.
    Thank you !! Self Concept Thursday is definitely a favorite.

  • MzMorenaza says:

    This is an awesome post and much needed at this point in my life, I keep beating myself up because I have not been able to loose weight like I want/need to but is because I always get caught it in the fact that I've failed in the past and I'm not living the now is always "when I" but I need to stop worrying about it so much and then I'll be able to make the right choices and make a life long journey. I love Self-Concept Thursday.

  • Anonymous says:

    Normally I haven't read these Self Concept posts, but I am glad I did today. I needed to read this. I am actually copying this right now to keep on my desk. Thank you!

  • Anonymous says:

    I needed to hear this. I can get so caught up in all I wanted to do and why I haven't moved further along, that I forget to live in the "now" and enjoy my life. Yes, great post!

  • Tommie says:

    Amen is all I can say! Great inspiration!

  • curls and coils says:

    This was right on time for me. I have been so busy later worrying about things that are out of my control. I forgot how to sit back and say "so what" if it doesn't happen when and how I want it to. I cannot let the situation control me. Thank you

  • Laleepop14 says:

    That was very very motivating!!!!! We always take a lot of things for granted and dont always count our blessing. This was very inspirational..Great post!!!!

  • eligar says:

    Thank you for this: on the eve of my 29th birthday, all I can think about is what hasn't happened in my life and what I haven't accomplished. But this has made me realize that I can either continue to wallow in my unhappy dissatisfaction or enjoy the many blessings that I DO have.

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